Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Caught my dad watching porn

Assalamou Alaikom,

 

I am a 18 year old girl that was born and bred in Europe, my family has always been a good family. People know us as the sisters with a hijab on, my mother wears a Niqaab and my dad has always been wearing a long thobe and islamic hat.

My dad asked me last week to order something for him on his phone, i normally always help my dad with these things. I was sitting next to him and pressed on history to look for the item he was looking for. I couldnt believe my eyes when i seen porn, i kept scrolling and all i could see were porn websites. My dad immediately grabed his phone off me and pretended like nothing happend.

i felt sick after seeing it and couldn’t eat for days. Yesterday I secretly looked again through his phone (just to make sure my eyes aint lying to me) and i seen that he still watches it every day.

I really cant stand him and hate him now because he is just acting normal, how long has he been watching this? i have read countless of ahadits about respecting your parents and have been obeying it for my whole life.

I really want to tell my mom but she has no one apart from him and my siblings and i dont want to break her heart.

Please tell me what i am meant to do, i even had a thought to leave islam because my whole life has been a lie. How can someone go to the mosque and not miss any salah... and still do these things.

Anonymous

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36 Responses »

  1. I think you're taking this whole thing way too seriously.

    Granted watching porn is haram and definitely not a good thing but you're acting like he has actually committed adultery - which he has not despite what some people might suggest to you.

    I don't think you should tell anyone especially your mother, nothing good will come of it. Watching porn is what a lot of men do - even Muslim ones.

    Yes, he is committing a sin but he is not cheating on your mother. Rather that he watches porn than actually does something with a real person - then you will have something really to worry about.

    Your father knows he is committing a sin, there is no need for you tell him this. Let him sort it out himself and stay out of his phone - thats why Islam respects a person's privacy. Your dad is not an angel, your expectations are way too high.

    • Watching porn is adultery and every bit you watch is Zina
      May I remind you of the types of Zina .

      1-Eyes - seeing,watching
      2-hands-touching,Feeling
      3-ears- hearing
      4-Legs - going,walking towards it
      5-mouth - talking,Feeling
      6-intimacy

      And in a this elements intemacy is the smallest because when you've done it you'll quit but as for the rest you'll be thinking I haven't done intimacy so if I repent and do it again there's no problem .
      Note

      You can have intimacy ones a days but the rest you will do them 100+ in 5minutes.

  2. Sister no worries..the world is a doggy dog world out there .the people who have a solid foundation and true taqwa are very little in these times.thata why the wiranto refers to 2 kinds of people..besides the non believers...the muslims and the believers! At the end of it all it's your parents .On the day of judgement everything will be presented that's a fact...move on my child...the world is a dark place soo get use too it....remember my dear marry a scholor a true sunni scholor and who is a huffaz of Quran .you will be blessed...just because dad wears hat n thobe and mom wears full cover it doesnt mean there Iman can become weak....just make sure your connected with mosque and always keep with good company keep away from interest haram food and protect your ears n shes from evil....today the generation is being wiped out by the love for duniya

    • Marrying a scholar does not mean that the person has no hidden faults. My husband's brother goes everywhere with Jamah, wears a full beard, every gathering is a lecture on Islam and he is the biggest Shaitan I have ever met. Everyone is human and can make mistakes. May Allah guide us all and help us to be good to each other.

  3. Dear, He is after all your father and you must keep his secret. Allah keep the secrets of those who keep the secrets of others. And Don't even think about leaving Islam. Don't judge Islam on the basis of the actions of Muslims. Why there is punishments in Islam for those who commit some crime? Of course if there is a law in Islam to punish the sinners it is for Muslims. Muslims can commit sins and therefore there is a law in Islam for it. And you must know that Allah forgive those who repent. You must stay strong in your faith in Allah. Love your father for what he is doing for your better life and don't hate him for what he is doing for himself. Talk to Allah about your father after midnight. Or you can talk with your father when no one is around and pour out your heart about how did you feel after all what you came to know. Please don't let this incident affect your life. Stay blessed and happy and away from all the evils. (Ameen)

  4. Yeah it's a sin but people who doesn't pray are doing greater sin Prophet As said who ever leave a prayer without any valid reason(willing) then he had did a Kufr and these types of people will make comments on your father ........ seeing women private parts is Zina and even looking to a women's face is prohibited,but at least he's praying.

    You just make dua for your father.And don't expose him .

    • Dumbest thing I have read all week, and I have read a lot of dumb shit. Maybe some people don't pray, but at least they are not killing and raping people. Some people may kill and rape people, but at least they don't steal from the poor. Maybe some people steal from the poor, but at least they they eat halal food.

      Can't you see how stupid your logic is? Just because graver sins exist, doesn't mean the sins you commit - that may or may not be less grave - are invalid. It's still a sin, mate. I also don't understand where in Islam we're told to compare our sins with other people's sins so taht our own become less bad. On Judgement Day, do you plan on standing in front of your God and argue for your sins by saying they aren't as bad compared to your neighbor's sins?

      You are not Allah, by the way - how do you know which sin is worse and better than other sins? Only Allah knows in the end of the day.

      • Lindita, your reply is very harsh. Everyone is just trying to help and responding in a way that they understand it. Please be nice, You never have any idea what your response may bring out in someone else or how it might be the last straw for them. However, I do appreciate your responses on other posts. Stay Blessed.

        • Raina,
          I don't think my reply was harsh actually. I said the comment the poster made was stupid, but that's about as harsh as it got. I know we live in an age of Snowflakes where people sadly commit suicide if you say hello to them, but that's not really my problem, or a problem I want to bow down to - because I'm strongly against emotional manipulation to oppress the rights of others; The right to speak, for instance. I can't go through life biting my tongue in fear of how people will react to my words. I would obviously never tell anyone that they should kill themselves, or anything messed up of that caliber. However, I don't see anything wrong with discussing opinions and be frank when you think an opinion is dumb, wrong or...illegal.

      • Because Prophet As Said .

        Kufr is the most dangerous .......

        • Is that become new fashion to compare sins .
          Kufr is worst so its OK to do any other sin?
          Some where i have seen similar comments when some one has raped his own daughter and one guy was comparing with shirk .
          What you guys are up to ? Looks non sense to me .

          • it's not my potion to stick my nose where it doesn't belong but you've to ask him to give you reference because there's 100's of 1000 hadith and to many hadith if you didn't know their tafseer and where to apply them you'll call everybody kafr and if you know where and what time the prophet use them and if you know the Verse of the Qur'an they're standing for then who ever tresspass the line is a kafr just as many people will pray all day and they'll miss ZUHUR and it's time for ASUR he's a kafr why because the hadith and verse of the Qur'an says
            WHOEVER MISS SALLAH is a kafr it didn't say he prays all day he is a sahaba or anything whoever he is .
            just as fagr prayer Allah himself said if you miss fagr you're kafr but many scholars if they said you're a kafr you'll complaint that he is strict and he easily call people mushrik so and so but if the scholar is which another scholar gisting he'll say kafr because the other scholar know what he meant .
            #
            i'll give you an example of a hadith and i need you to tell me IS the man here kafr or not

            The rasul said Allah will send each an every human some angels
            1- one they'll come by fagr and they will leave by asur
            2- they'll come by asur and they'll leave by fagr

            and after they leave
            Kaifa tarak kattum ibadi
            Allah will ask them how did you meet my slave
            if he is a good servant of Allah then faya quluna tarak nahum ibadi The angels will say - Ya Allah we meet him praying . wa atinahum ibadi and we left him praying

            for a bad servant of Allah

            they'll say Ya Allah we met him doing such and such and we left him doing such and such .

            and here again Allah said
            whoever prayed salatul Fagr i will give him my protection,Guidance,saviour and mercy and who doesn't pray Fagr i'll ask him on the day of requital
            My slave why did you not accept my gift when i am giving it

            .the hadith is long so cut it short
            you're broke and your father is giving $1000 dollars out to buy books
            if you didn't collect that means you've some money or you'll get it from your friend or somewhere .

            So if you didn't collect Allah's gift it means you've someone who will protect,save,guide you.
            definitely a Kafr

  5. Assalam to you and what you just said is totally wrong not about your Dad but precisely you .
    Your parents are intittled to see your history but you've no right to check theirs, He watch porn isn't a problem the problem is you endeavoring to brake the peace in your family. He watch porn write him a letter secretly wise and matured illustrating how happy you are that Allah chose him as your father and what's more enduring is when your stars are still alive being him and your mommy a bright stars that can't be replaced by anyone but Shaytan.
    Start with saying baba I've no idea what's going on between you and mama but i am quite certain Your hearts are clean only if you keep a distance from the track of Shaytan and that Sometimes Allah test us all with what we didn't consider a big deal and later it'll become a big deal in front of Allah .
    What pains me allot is when Allah himself Stand me in front of him asking me .My slave why did you do what you do while I've blessed you with what i haven't give to other slave of mine ?
    What will I say to him Baba
    I am afraid worldly material will drag me to Jahannam because small things consumed much of our rewards and later we will regret all we're doing which is terable....

    As for you my Sister did you know that what you'd seen was a test for you from Allah to see how you are going to react
    What will be your thoughts about your parents
    What's the words that come out of your mouth
    Will you be the type that will keep a secret

    He watch porn is it his problem or the problem is from my mother to whether she can't have intemecy as much as my Baba will be endeavoring to do all day ?
    Yes women can't have because it's against their healthcare.
    And what did made him Go to that part
    Was it because of how she dress at home
    Or is it because she's old -No it's because when women have children or sent years in the marriage they stop caring for their body much more were the men can't stand it and can't tell them either .

    Prophet Isa once saw a person stealing in a market and he went straight to the thief and ask him hey i saw you steal this product so return it back and the man said i didn't steal anything and prophet Isa Alaihis sallam said I swear by Allah who's my sight and Soul is with that I deny my eyes this, my eyes are lying and the man is saying the truth .

    Question
    1- Did Jesus search the man's pockets ?
    2- did he look at the man's hands though what he stole is in his hands ?
    3- did he Shout at the man or attract people there
    4- Did he expose the man and create an action ?
    5- what did he say
    6- why did he said it
    Because for whatever you do Shaytan is your advisorso it's on to you to decide that what i am going to do is it wise .

    My Father for God sake . Yes him it is a taste to him from Allah due to the type of Prayer he'd being doing and Allah test him if he can be crystal on what he Ask .
    As for you Allah made you a witness not a Spy .
    Witness to see since my father is trustworthy person can i advise him and will be put faith and stop all he's doing .
    Don't ever do the mistake of telling your mother or anybody again about your families issues it is Shaytan.

    Let me tell you the key to this life

    Nobody love you and no body will love you
    Only Allah love you who gave you the experience of what you see Instead of Allah raising you in a family were you can all slept with each other, but he raised you in that family, you are so lucky that your parents give birth to you in an Islamic Marriage not as a bastard that's what you should Thank Allah for ...

    Don't ever tell people your families issues
    Whoever the Person is , he is Shaytan only if he listen to you . A man of God never listen to such stories but he'll say wait stop there and go and perform Two Nafilat and relate everything to Allah then you ask him for guidance because I can do nothing to you sister ....
    This is the man who Fair Allah ....
    Go and perform Two Nafilat as same As prophet Dawud use to do and at the end of your two Nafilat in the Sujud tell Allah about this and ask him to guide,protect,save not only your Dad from it but your family from Shaytan and everybody on earth bearing the tittle of Islam .

    • Allah made mention of How to talk what to say and know the reason why you are saying . Big mouth is what Allah warn women off cause womens mouth can kill billions of lives in a second as for you I urge you to know the Tafseer of Suratul Lukhman not the translation because you can't understand. .. He Allah is wise and everything you think in this world and out of this world is mentioned in the Qur'an. Qur'an is a book having no volumes but it does what you can't imagine . Reading it all day and I assure you you'll have a photographic memory. As nd Shaytan will hate you and you'll earn status,Wealth,health,protection,Guidance, and far most Allah will I form you that which nobody will believe only you and Allah will believe it .. You Should know the Tafseer of the Qur'an Start with the First five Surahs of the Qur'an that is were you will find Answer of this story that you finish relating or Surah lukhman

    • Another idiot with internet access. Pretty much everything you have written made me want to give up on life, lol. I can't actually believe Muslims like you exist. I'd love to know where you learn about your alternative version of Islam from.

      It's also ridiculous to blame women and their "big mouths" on world problems. Men need to stop blaming women for their bad choices, and take responsibility for themselves - you know, like MEN?! For God's sake, just stop yourself, seriously.

      • My mother is a woman
        My sisters are women
        My cousin and all are women
        The one i love the must is a woman which is my mother and may Allah Shower his rahma in her grave and all, so if I am against women i should've to start from our house before I get in a debate with other women ..
        Please recheck what I just finish writing before you call me an idiot and thank you for the elevation of the status up there
        i didn't know I'm such an idiot though I know that Allah said i created you with the best of moments so if you call me an idiot or anyone else then you are referring to Allah that he is not free from imperfection as he said he was.
        misunderstanding,judging and inpatient is what made many muslims dump
        Don't get me wrong Mrs because cutting what people say without understanding what sense they're trying to make and I am grateful that you just cut that sentence without understanding it because I am sure allot of people who doesn't understand it will not ask me what i am trying to say there but they'll take it personal by their own words which is wrong .
        Mrs what i meant by big mouth is not that you women are bagbitting,creating Fitna. But What I totally mean is some women take things so personal like you just did here instead of re-reading everything and if you did not understand then contact me to get everything in details no you don't ..

        Many people said she should tell her mother bla bla bla- that is big mouth which means she took it personal dreaming about it,think about it all day and that's when Shaytan will give her advise that many people will be by her side such as take her father's mobile and show her mother . Big mouth ,,, tell the imam of the masjeed that her father use to go oh maybe he'll advise him big mouth.
        What's bad about big mouth is that you don't know what will come out of what you just create.

        Big mouth is What Allah call footsteps of Shaytan
        Big mouth is at the beginning when she saw it she is suppose to report to Allah but she take it personal which made her unable to sleep but thinking about it,
        Dreaming of it
        When she saw her father she'll be seeing devil instead of A guidance from her Lord
        While she got the chance at that very moment if she prostrate and relate what she saw to Allah and the negativity her mind start creating telling that to Allah is what Allah says we should do
        Not keeping it in our heart. Or if she manage to escape from Shaytan and recite

        Subu hanaka wabi hamdika laa ilaha illa anta
        Allahumma inni a'uzu biradika wabi mu afatika min uqubatika wa a'uzubika laa uhsii sana an alaik anta kama asnaita Alaa nafsik
        هو الله الذى لا إله إلاهو علم ااغيب والشهدة هوال حمن الرحيم .
        والله الذى لا إله إلاهوالملك القدوس السلم المؤمن المهيمن الجبار المتكبر الله عما يشر كون

        هو الله الخلق البارئ المصور له الأسماءالحسنى
        يسبح له مافى السموت الأرض وهو العزيز الحكيم.
        the last three verses of
        Surah As-Saffat
        Then Fatiha,Ayat Alkursi,Amanarrasul and so push away Shaytan from her family
        Iklas,Nas,Falaq.
        All to praise Allah to show him that he is your Lord not Shaytan who will create Fitna in your family
        And I promise you she'll see the change .
        I am not criticizing women or anything here I am just saying that she should not take it personal .

        You should go and check the Tafseer of Surah Al-lukhman verse 8-19 and then tell me what it says and please for the Quran don't read the translation because I am 100% sure if you read the translation without the Tafseer you'll understand it just as you criticized me earlier here .

        • Muhammad Yusuf,
          I did read your posts, that's why I said you're an idiot with internet access. Just because people disagree with you, doesn't mean they don't understand you, or understand you wrong. It could mean they understand you perfectly, but think you have stupid opinions. Which is the case here.

          In fact, I lost it with you by your 3rd sentence of your first post, because you claimed privacy is only a right of parents, not children. This is not islam, this is YOUR culture and YOUR CULTURAL traditions where there is a very, very clear hierarchy within families and communities! I don't know where you are form, but from your name I will assume you are Pakistani or Indian - well, I'm not, so whatever is traditional in your society, is definitely not traditional in MY society. Don't make your traditions Islamic when they are not, please.

          Anyway, the father of the OP is clearly committing a sin, yet, you shift the focus and blame on the OP for "snooping". Porn, snooping, porn, snooping...yeah, snooping is the real problem here. You actually ignore the fact that OP said she did not snoop initially, she caught her father's filthy habit by accident when he asked her to look something up on his phone for him. It's totally understandable that a kid would be shocked to learn that their dad watches porn, who wouldn't be? It's a tender topic to cope with and talk about, so I don't blame OP for only wanting to bring it up out of PURE necessity - such as if the father hasn't stopped watching porn. Call it snooping, or whatever, but it's important to look at the intention behind the action. Most likely, OP would rather NOT have to tell her family about her dad's habit, but that would require that her father actually feels bad about his doings and has stopped watching porn. She most likely wanted to make sure where her father stands with his porn watching to be able to make a decision about what she needs to do.

          As a woman, I hate being held in the dark so much - if my kid had found something about their father, my husband, I would hope they would tell me so I, myself, have all the facts that I need to make whatever decision I need to make for myself and my children. That shouldn't be a matter for anyone else to take upon them: To decide what's best for me and make decisions for me.

      • What are you upto?

        Are you Scholar?

        Are you student ?

        Then why are you making stupid comments here

        • Assalamu Alaikum. Blissful day to you Too Mr Right.
          There is one thing in this life which make us dump and we can't escape been that dump until we view our lives first before sticking our nose in other people's life . You didn't come here with the integrity or deserve me telling you who i am with your words.
          Well I am sure what I'd said make sense way better than what you'll say here . I am not here to talk with people like you who can't see a stuff and leave it rather try to argue or pin point one person so that people will make harsh comments on him .
          Please whenever you finish your ablusion try and drink the remaining water i am sure it'll soften your heart and don't forget to do istigfar all day
          Thank you

          • Walikumsalam wa rehmtaullahi wa barkatu.

            So is there any Hadith which says we can drink ablution water?

          • Assalamu
            Alaikum
            thank you very much Brother rooman khan there is many hadith and the problem is people from your region start praying when they're little their parents take them to masjeed without knowing the ELEMENTS,PRINCIPLES,OBJECTIVES,RULES,COMPULSORY ACTS, OR TO SAY WHAT TO DO OR WHAT NOT TO DO and they'll continue praying without knowing anything PERTAINING SALLAH

            THE BOOK CALLED SIFFATUS SALATuN NABI

            There are many books and nowadays muslims don't know anything about islam but they can
            spent 20 years studying

            1 year in prep
            2 year in Kindergarten
            3 years in nursery school
            6 years in primary school
            6 years secondary,high school
            4-5 years university
            some even attend masters degree 1-2 years
            PhD 3 YEARS
            And they'll finish their lives as slaves for their boss,work,office

            and those same people if you tell them anything about islam they'll ask you GIVE me a hadith or the worse is they believe MAULANA better than the word of Allah
            So Mr khan i don't want to say thing bad about the muslims around the world including you
            because it'll be harsh because i been to many places and i see for my eyes how the peoples PRAY SALAH and when ever i tried to correct them they'll give me a HADITH which either
            the scholar is not a trustworthy or the hadith is not acceptable or they'll give me fake hadith
            or THEY'LL CREATE THEIR OWN HADITH or they'll stop talking to me . i believe you're from pakistan or india and i can tell you this

            The hadith you people read is all fake though it is hadith but at the end of the hadith it is written makrooh, not acceptable but you people decline that - you believe bukhari hadith and
            bukhari's hadith is more than 10 VOLUMES but your own which you'll find in SUB-INDIAN continent is maybe 50 pages and you people don't know how to pray 0% to be honest if i say 1% Allah will hold me responsible because you guys grew doing what other peoples are doing .
            BIsmil lah
            DRINKING ABLUTION WATER WHEN YOU FINISH ABLUTION

            i know you people believe in HUSSAIN AND HIS FATHER ALEE (R.A.H) much more even recently you have an EID for him am i right ? So i'll GIVE YOU HIS HADITH SO THAT YOU'LL KNOW HOW TO QUESTION PEOPLE NEXT TIME

            A SELDOM,RARELY KNOWN HADITH OR SUNNA AMONGST THE MUSLIMS

            yet it is part of the practice of our beloved Prophet, ﷺ. This forgotten Sunnah is revived by our beloved Shaykh Muqbil ibn Haadee Al-Wadi’i, رحمه الله.

            It is reported by Al-Husayn ibn ‘Aliyu, رضي الله عنهما, that he said:

            “My father ‘ALEE called me to bring (water for) Wudhu, so I brought it to him, and he started by washing his hands three times before putting them into the water. Then he rinsed his mouth three times and sniffed water into his nose and blew it out three times. Then he washed his face three times, then his right hand up to the elbow three times, (and) then his left likewise. Then he wiped his head once, then he washed his right foot up to the ankle three times, then the left likewise.

            Then he stood up and said: ‘Pass me the vessel.’ So I passed the vessel containing the remaining water for his Wudhu to him, and he drank from it standing up. I was surprised, and when he noticed that, he said: ‘Do not be surprised, for I saw your father, the Prophet, ﷺ, doing what you have seen me doing.’ (referring to his Wudu and drinking the leftover water while standing).”

            [An-Nasaa’ee. Graded ‘Saheeh’ by Shaykh Muqbil, رحمه الله, in his ‘Al-Jaami’ as-Saheeh mimma laysa fi saheehayn’, Chapter:

            DRINKING ABLUTION WATER WHEN YOU FINISH ABLUTION

            which is called in correct english Drinking the leftover water of the ablution, 1/515]

            Sorry to break things right for you it's that you want to push me too far and the good thing is Allah is by my side and Allah will not let his servant down even if the servant is hasty about himself So let me advise people i am not here to argue with you because i know you don't know and you don't want to know by this type of question ....

            People think JAHILIYA period is over but in terms of islamic ruling which is the original science jahiliya is not over EXAMPLE is the person whose knowledge is close to him and he is pushing it away and still complaining or arguing . He don't want to know and he'll critiseze the ones that know . or a person who has knowledge but didn't use it
            or a person who misjudge others etc this is another saying .... I hope you'll not cut me wrong in this hadith too
            read it 100 times if possible before you judge me

    • Brother, beautiful reply, Mashallah.

      • Assalamu
        Alaikum cut story short search for the story of Barsisa online or youtube
        many scholars of islam women are their weakness why because that is the only way Shaytan will stop them from the rahma Allah is giving them. if you know the history of a very pious man called basisa . shaytan do dicame thing that he did to your father and as for basisa He diet a kafr and it is your responsibility to talk to your father early because whatever come after meaning whatever your father did you'll have a share not 50-50 but your own will be greatest because Allah assign some people a test to test them before he assign them their own tax and if they pass then Allah will elevate them as for you i am going to say maybe fore Allah will chose to a level that you wouldn't know and shaytan will miss lead you and after you jump in his threat then you that is where you'll figure out. but now i know insha'Allah you;ll be able to pass only if you blame yourself for what you do and what other people do to you just to stay away from Shaytan such as music,movies, anything related .
        The part where Shaytan focus on women not because they're weak but because if they're not in the circle she must've a friend who's in it such as boyfriend - that is first,studies were you can't understand or you understand and in the exam hall you forget then your thought will why Allah or go to Boka-magician or become lazy and weaken your iman .

        Basisa is a man who's food is quran and sallah he don't even sleep much more than 1-3 hours a day he stay away from people
        he don;t sit in a gathering he don't look at women he don't do anything that'll attract Shaytan.
        one days there's two brothers who has a sister and they want to go to (umrah) . they don't have any one to take care of her
        so they went to basisa and they tell him Assalamu Alaikum we want to go to umrah and he said may Allah take you and bring you back but they said we doesn't find any good man in the city to look after our sister that's why we come to you

        BASISA'A first word is Auzubillah
        no no no this is Shaytan and he said i am sorry
        and the two brother stood up and went so
        here we'll say Shehk Shaytan
        so shaytan come to basisa and said to him basisa they're going for jihad and if they leave their sister to anyone something will happen to her and whatever happen to her you'll be account infront of Allah for everything and you're a pious man you have two rooms in your house you can give her one and you live in the other later you slip food to her and walk away

        So Basisa went to them and said i'll look after her but with one condition we'll not talk etc
        so they bring her and leave for jihad and basisa has another house so he took her their instead of living together and everyday he'll cook a food and he'll keep it and she has to come all the way to his place take it and go back to her place So
        Sheikh Shaytan come to Basisa and said to him Basisa she is a woman and she is given to you as an amana aren't you afraid someone might stopped her rape her on her way coming why can't you cook and take it to her Basisa.
        so basisa will cook the food and take it to her by knocking at the gate then drop the food and she'll pick it up
        after some times Sheikh Shaytan come back to basics and said basisa that she is not a Dog basisa you cook and keep the food by her door left her to eat oh come on basisa she is a human being and later basisa will cook knock at her door give her the food and left after some times Sheikh Shaytan come back and said Basisa she is an amana why can't you say Salam to her he basisa did not long ago Sheikh comes back and say why can't you ask her if she's sick or anything . you know nowadays women think they've freedom why would he lock me in a house it is impossible not like then so basisa will bring food and talk to her later sheikh comes back with a new proposal stating basisa this brothers have gone for a while maybe they are on their way and some armed robbers stopped and kill them or they'd gone out of food and die so why not enter the house bit by bit enter her room and from there they talk from talking the touch from touching they commit Zina
        wow Basisa is stunned he said nauzubillah . after some times she's pregnant and give birth to a handsome baby boy .
        SO Sheikh Shaytan comes back and said Basisa you've committed zina with their sister aren't you afraid they'll come back and find her with a child ? then basisa said what should i do then Sheikh said just kill the child after killing the child days gone sheikh is back and said basisa are you not afraid she'll come back and she will tell them ? Basisa - what should i do
        Sheikh said kill her too.

        After some times the three brother come back and they went to basisa and ask him about their sister so basisa said
        inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un your sister felt sick and died so basisa never lied and now he took them show them a fake grave and the brothers stayed and prayed for her then leave so while they're sleeping Sheikh show them the grave of their sister and a child different from what Basisa shown to them well the next morning they meet and they both said i had a strange dream last night what a coincident they both share the information among themselves and they said it can't be false so they went they doggoff the graves and found their sister and the child so they go to basisa and tell him you lied to us we'll take you to the king or the ruler at that time so after ther king found everything to be true then Basisa was sentenced to dead by hanging and at the date of his hanging he was asked have you any last word so sheikh come to basisa and said to him basisa i i am the one that got you in this mess and i am the only one that can get you out of this mess

        SO basisa said how and sheikh said basisa do sajda(prostration) for me . and Basisa did
        and
        sheikh said was salamu alaykum

        Basisa committed double murder and shirk

        My Sister Satan doesn't want you to pen him a door he just need a crack that's all and the crack is what you just saw and if you didn't take action in talking to your dad then you'll be to blame not him
        and i urge you advise him to change what he normally say in SALLAH

        i can't blame women because they've high potentiality of entering paradise than us even though some of us are sheikhs and all ,,, it's easy for a woman to enter paradise than us

        My English is so bad so i recommend you SEARCH FOR THE STORY OF BARSISA.
        And if you don't mind i'll write you how to pray sallah and i assure you shaytan will stay weeks away from you and you'll be a pious woman and Allah will be with you all time

  6. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon you, sister. May Allah reward you for being patient with what your dad has done.

    Mashallah, Allah has given you great wisdom that you did the right thing by asking about something which you had no knowledge of, for half of knowledge is admitting that you don't know. May Allah increase you in knowledge and give you patience.

    Your family and relatives are the most deserving of your kindness, piety and pursuit of saving them from Hellfire; this is the greatest kind of goodness, sister.

    Allah says in the Quran: "O ye who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commandeth them, but do that which they are commanded." (66:6)

    This great deed is more important than giving them money and worldly needs; seeking to save them from the Punishment and Dissatisfaction of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a great matter.

    And Allah says in the Quran: "And what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? Again, what will explain to thee what the Day of Judgment is? It is the Day when a soul will not possess for another soul [power to do] a thing; and the command, that Day, is [entirely] with Allah". (Al-Infitar, 17-19)

    It is not a coincidence or chance that you saw your dad's sins, sister. Allah says in the Quran: "Not a leaf falls but that He knows it." (6:59)

    And you didn't do anything wrong, sister, as it was a coincidence, not spying! Spying is indeed forbidden in Islam.

    Allah doesn't expose a sinner unless the sin affects others and the sinner keeps repeating the sin!

    However, the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever conceals (the fault of) a Muslim in this world, Allah will conceal him (his faults) in this world and in the Hereafter." Muslim (2699).

    So, this sin of your father doesn't have a great effect on your family, sister. You have to conceal it, sister! But let's say in the case your father was seeing another woman or committing zina, you could have said about that to your mother because that would have hugely impacted the family.

    And maybe the reason Allah didn't expose your father's sin to your mother is because Allah wants to warn your father indirectly through you as it would have broken your mother's heart terribly if she was the one to discover it first.

    So you have to advise your father indirectly, sister and what you could do is say to your father like, "Dad, I saw this thing on your phone, somebody might have accessed your phone and misused it" You know along those lines.

    But you said your dad prays Salah, so how come he still sins, right?

    Sister, Salah is like medicine. If you're sick and the doctor prescribes you medicine and instead of taking the medicine with healthy food, you take the medicine with junk food, soda, meat, oily foods, etc. Will the medicine work? Of course not!

    Similarly, if one has diseases in their heart, which are mainly anger, envy, and arrogance, then the Salah doesn't work!

    So after advising your dad indirectly, what you can do is instead of confronting your dad with the sin, you will confront your dad with the CAUSE of the sin! Okay? Like advise him about anger, advise him about arrogance and envy. And after those diseases are removed from the heart, the Salah will work!

    Allah says in the Quran: “And perform the Salah. Verily, As-Salat prevents from Al-Fahisha (i.e. great sins of every kind.) and Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed, etc.) and the remembering (praising, etc.) of (you by) Allah (in front of the angels) is greater indeed (than your remembering (praising, etc.) Allah in prayers, etc.). And Allah knows what you do.” (Surah al-Ankaboot 45).

    It seems you have more doubts about Islam as you say you want to leave Islam? Well, I would be happy to answer any questions that you have about Islam. So feel free to ask any questions, sister.

    Salaamualaikum.

  7. my family has always been a good family. People know us as the sisters with a hijab on, my mother wears a Niqaab and my dad has always been wearing a long thobe and islamic hat.
    One thing that has always boggled my mind about Muslims is how superficial things like clothing is what they see as determinants for how good or religious of a Muslim a person is. Just because you cover yourself with some cloth, or wear a certain type of clothes, doesn't mean you fear Allah or have a strong faith.

    I understand your disappointment, but your dad clearly has a problem. It's not normal to watch porn, and definitely not every day. If i were you I would talk to him calmly and confront him with his problem. I would then tell him that he should get help and be honest with your mum about his issue with pornography. And if he can't do the right thing by himself and his family, you'll feel uncomfortable and obliged to tell your mother yourself. It's really not fair of your dad to do these things and make his addiction his kids' problems. It's really his wife, your mother, who should be helping him with these things, not you.

    Good luck with everything.

    • To what i preview about you is that you get angry at everything around you or away from you and you can't see what doesn't concern you and move along but you've to create chaos before you leave the place and if the place is clean you had to mark or complain that the place is always clean the cleaner must be obligated to work all day.....

      Please not for me but for Allah if you don't understand anything at all don't keep quiet ask questions you are not been inquisitive by asking it is the matter of learning .
      If you don't understand what people are saying don't criticise them it is immoral and not Islamic
      Abusing is prohibited in Islam as I'd seen all the commenters here there is known that you haven't abuse in any way or the other.
      And a looser is the type of person who thinks that he is always right
      A Shaytan is that who can't see and leave that's why we are here because Shaytans best Ranking to his evil sons is to break the tie between two married couples ....

      Please Stop being Mrs right at all you do .
      If you can't go personal and advise people just pray for them

      • Don't patronize me with your "you don't understand". I'm not stupid, I understand things and people very well.

        If you haven't noticed, this site is about people asking of others to basically meddle in their business when they are in trouble in some way - when things AREN'T clean, but actually MESSY. No one comes on here tyo talk about how great things in their life are, do they? So why you are talking about "clean things" on this site, I don't really know. You are not on Allah's blog where things are perfect and clean. So, now that I have explained to you - as simply as possible - what this site is about...tell me why I, or anyone, would come on a site like this only to follow your advice of "moving along" if I / people don't give the type of advice YOU can accept and deem to be correct and right? It's very arrogant and narcissistic of you to think YOUR standards have to apply to me, or anyone. YOU move along, buh-bye.

        As for me creating chaos...what can I say? lol. I actually live a very calm, drama-free life with my husband, our two cats and soon with twin boys. Alhamdulellah, I have a loving family, friends that care about me, and me them...I don't associate myself with negative people, or people that don't bring good value into my life. And I love this kind of life. And I believe it's the kind of life Allah would want a Muslim to live. That's why I try to tell people that they shouldn't have to tolerate stupid, negative, destructive things in life....because there is literally zero reason to when you can surround yourself with positive and uplifting things and people. Sure, I sometimes get angry and a bit temperamental when I try to put my points across, but that's just because of people like you that give terrible and wrong tips to vulnerable people. I'm not claiming to give the best advice, but there is a difference between giving people options and leading them astray, which I believe is what you are doing when you say stupid shit that only applies to YOUR culture, not for Islam and Muslims. My family are Muslims, I grew up Muslim, I am Muslim and I live like a Muslim...never in my entire life have I been taught that it's Islam to invade your children's privacy, and that invading your parents' privacy by accident is worse than the sins you catch your parents committing. How does a logical brain actually believe this nonsense? I would ask you to provide me with answers, but you are clearly not logical so...please don't.

        • Lindita, I edited your comment and I'm placing you on moderated status. Your point of view is welcome but the insults and abusive attitude are not.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. Write him a letter....say it’s wrong, mom won’t be happy and it’s effecting you. He just got caught up in addiction. It’s a sinful thing to watch. Normally when marriage goes down, men resort to those things. Not saying it’s right. Once he see’s the letter he will feel embarrassed and stop.

  9. Walaikum As Salam

    Personally i feel , you should ask about the things you have found out about your father to him. See what he has in store to reply you.

    Forget the SIN part for a moment, it still is a gross thing.. he is a father when he has no respect of him being a father why should you have any respect of you being his daughter ? He isnt a teenager to watch out on porn. And whats the guarentee he isnt committing adultery or so affairs outside ?

    Wearing an Islamic Robe and a cap not missing out on Salah doesnt makes one a pious Muslim..there are lacs out there who pretend and even show off that they are devout Muslims..but to be a devout Muslim forget the attire part..one needs to have a PIOUS NIYAT.. which i feel your father lacks
    Staying in Europe so what a big deal ? Staying in europe wearing Islamic attire and behaviour of an english man.. it just wards off the so called Islamic Piousness that he shows off.

    So just confront him 1st ask him about all this bullshit upfront see what he has to reply on that..and than move ahead accordingly.. do not include your mother 1st.. or reveal it to her.. never know your father might play some tantrum and make you feel guilty in your own eyes and false in the eyes of your mother..

    All the Very Best !!!

    • Ignore , keep yourself safe from uttering , nonsense , you may just create another problem for yourself and many other people in the house , and you will have the biggest heartache because your youngest and less capable of managing stress . Maybe your mom already knows about it she may have asked if she may choose to ignore . When people are married they have lesser guilt . They don't feel the way you feel . Concentrate on your studies / work , life will give everyone enough set of their own problems and responsibilities you won't even remember this after a few years . Life also gives everyone situations where you have to protect yourself from such things , so be prepared for that day by being strong and pious

      • If someone is sinning in private he's hoping to repent , don't expose him , and take away his chance to repent . Only if someone is openly sinning you should act against them , that too you can't wage a war , just you can remind open sinners once or twice and then distance yourself . You fight them chances are they'll escape and you'll be the casualty badly hurt , abused , humiliated , thrown out and tortured for many years to come . I'm not saying your dad's like that . Even if he is best person , you'll suffer the max , maybe you'll hear a lot from your mom also. So rule no 1 before you go out to save someone save yourself . And let me remind you again this is for open sinners

  10. Assalamun Alaykum

    i just wanted to say that watching porn is an addiction problem....its not solely a spiritual problem. When someone is addicted to something, its a physical/biological issue that is taking place, involving the physical body, brain chemistry, nerve receptors etc

    May Allah save us from all types of addictions. There are people addicted to many things. Some worse than others.Just because your addictions are not haram or as damaging as watching porn it doesn't mean you are morally or spiritually superior.

    May Allah forgive me. I used to watch pornography and do the secret habit. I am only sharing this in the hopes that it may help someone.

    I used to try to stop for many years. But I couldn't. I would repent. and then commit the sin again. i used to hate myself...and was filled with lots of guilt. I cant emphasize how worthless I felt. I was constantly living in shame and guilt.

    There were even years that i used to watch, totally desentisized to the fact that I was causing great spiritual and worldly damage to myself.

    Alhamdulilah I managed to overcome it. Its only been a year since I quit watching it.

    All I am saying is just to have some compassion. Addicts need help. Not your judgement or hate.

    Once again.....an addiction is a physical/biological problem....not just a spiritual one.

    And Allah Knows Best.

  11. Mahmood: I used to watch pornography and do the secret habit. I am only sharing this in the hopes that it may help someone. ...........I used to try to stop for many years. But I couldn't. I would repent. and then commit the sin again............Alhamdulilah I managed to overcome it. Its only been a year since I quit watching.

    SVS: There has to be some rewarding effects that provide a compelling incentive to repeatedly pursue the addictive behavior. I guess porn watching is associated with masturbation. If a person is married, sex is readily available to him/her, so what makes him/her continue porn addiction. There must be some thing making the person continue the habit.

    If you share how you over come porn addiction, it may help some one also.

    • Yes SVS,

      That's a great question. Even married people watch pornography....may Allah help, protect and guide us.

      To be honest....the method that worked for me is very un-orthodox. I am wary in sharing it here, as many people may not understand it.

      But all I will say is to research the effects of "Iboga" and "Ayahausca" on addictions. You can research this on your own on Google.

      And Allah knows best.

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