Cheating husband after 32 years
Hello, this is my situation. I've been married for 32 years and recently found my husband cheating. He has admitted this openly and I left the house to stay with my sibling. Since then, he has brought this woman to our house and has engaged in zina consistently. Recently, he sent me a message telling me he bought me for $$ (mahr) and I need to come back home.
I am a believing woman, pray and fasting as well. he on the other hand, drinks alcohol, has rejected his faith and carries out everything a non-believer would do.
I would like to know, am I wrong by not being at home. By islamic belief, is my place in that house considering his beleif, what he has done etc?
I have started the legal proceedings for a separation, but I need to know what is the right thing to do.. please help
- dreamaz
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dreamaz, this man is abominable. What he is doing is disgusting, and deeply offensive. I cannot imagine anything more disrespectful to you as his wife.
I'm glad that you are already out of that house. The next step is to divorce him. Have no hesitation about this, it is the right thing to do.
It's very difficult in life when we are betrayed by the people close to us. You have given this man so much of your life. However, ultimately we cannot control others. We can only control our own choices in life. Alhamdulillah that you have a good relationship with your Creator. Let that sustain you as you do what you have to do.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salam..i meet my husband here in uk..he lied to me,when i commit myself to him,he told me that he was divorced and he have one son with his wife and even told me that he was adopted son and raised by a pakistani family..i am divorced myself to my 1st husband coz he is quite abusive towards me..im 4 months pregnant when my husband now confessed that he wasnt divorce to his 1st wife and the wife just give birth the time that im 2 months pregnant with him..he told me aswell that he isnt adopted but he is a real son.he nver introduced me to his family even i told him that i want to see them..his wife is in pakistan.i dont know why he dont want his family to know about us,he dont live with me.hejust coming to see me sometimes and stayed just 1hr and coming just twice a month,he live just 15min walk away from me..but he cantgive us time,his reason was his work and he dnt want that someone can see him..recently he told me that he is divorce with his wife but hedidnt told me the reason.i dont know whether to believe him or not.but still he dont want his family esp his parents knows bout us..i found out where he livebut he threatend me todivorce me if ill go in his house,so i didnt..i already give birth to our son and now 2 months old but still he doesnt giving us time and nver support us financially eversince..i do love him a lot and i do pray and start wearing proper clothes..im tryng my best to be patients and give him love as much as i can but still he dont change..i told him theres no point of keeping me coz he nver been a husband to me.but he say to me,he wont gonna give me divorce unless ill ask him..but i dont want to ask for a divorce..idont know what i hve to do..istill hoping that he will live with us oneday and he will treat me as a wife..he keeping a lot of secrets about his life and family from me..im tryng tobe a gud wife and a good mum,but i dnt know y he dnt want to livewith us..im really depress..cud u advice me something..wassalam
salam..i meet my husband here in uk..he lied to me,when i commit myself to him,he told me that he was divorced and he have one son with his wife and even told me that he was adopted son and raised by a pakistani family..i am divorced myself to my 1st husband coz he is quite abusive towards me and he gave me divocre even i tried living with him for our daughetr sake..im 4 months pregnant when my husband now confessed that he wasnt divorce to his 1st wife and the wife just give birth the time that im 2 months pregnant with him..he told me aswell that he isnt adopted but he is a real son.he nver introduced me to his family even i told him that i want to see them..his wife is in pakistan.i dont know why he dont want his family to know about us,he dont live with me.hejust coming to see me sometimes and stayed just 1hr and coming just twice a month,he live just 15min walk away from me..but he cantgive us time,his reason was his work and he dnt want that someone can see him..recently he told me that he is divorce with his wife but hedidnt told me the reason.i dont know whether to believe him or not.but still he dont want his family esp his parents knows bout us..i found out where he livebut he threatend me todivorce me if ill go in his house,so i didnt..i already give birth to our son and now 2 months old but still he doesnt giving us time and nver support us financially eversince..i do love him a lot and i do pray and start wearing proper clothes..im tryng my best to be patients and give him love as much as i can but still he dont change..i told him theres no point of keeping me coz he nver been a husband to me.but he say to me,he wont gonna give me divorce unless ill ask him..but i dont want to ask for a divorce..idont know what i hve to do..istill hoping that he will live with us oneday and he will treat me as a wife..he keeping a lot of secrets about his life and family from me..im tryng tobe a gud wife and a good mum,but i dnt know y he dnt want to livewith us..im really depress..cud u advice me something..i told him doesnt matter even im his 3rd or 4th wife coz this is allowed in islam,but my right to know the truth and he have to treat me equally the way hes treating the others,,but he do made a swear that he dont have any wife now aside from me..but i dont understand why hes not open to me and why he have to keep me from his family and his son..he say to me he can tell them bout his son but not me,but if hell do that i have to give our son which i cant.i carry our son in my tummy without him when im in pain,when i need him,and never support us even our food..he is earning good and have a business,they hve a lot of mortgage house.while im living in a rent room and paying it myself..paying the food and everything..im not working,my mum is helping me and keep telling me to forget my husband but i cant..my ex husband supporting his daughter..but my husband never think to support me and his son..i dont mind about this for this is just a world,sooner or later we will leave this world..im not materialistic,all i want is that my husband will be a husband to me and start living withh us..i keep praying and asking Allah..i even read surah that can help to make him love me..im leaving everythhing to God..thats all i can do buti need somedvice brothers and sisters..if u can help..and pls help me to do some prayer that he will love me..sukran