What religion my children must follow?
I am from Greece. 90% of people in Greece are Christians. So, the racism is too high!
I am a Muslim man married to a Christian woman. I am married, have two children and the names of my children are Greek ancient.
Now the problem is that my woman wants to Christian my children and from my side i deny her to do that.
I told her someday when they grow up they will decide which religion would follow.
What can i do that?
Can you help me please?
Pirsos.
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When you say that your wife wants to Christian the children, are you speaking of christening/baptism? Why does she want to do this? Is she fearful that her children will not be accepted in her culture if she raises them as muslim? Are there safety concerns? Family pressure?
When you say that your wife is Christian, can I presume she is of an Orthodox form of Christianity or does she follow RC (Roman Catholicism or a protestant form of Christianity?) I know that in RC it is permissible for the children of muslim/catholic unions to be raised as muslim if that has been agreed to by the husband and wife. For instance:
If a muslim man and a catholic woman marry, and the woman remains catholic, but agrees that her children are born muslim and shall be raised as Islam requires, the RC canon is in agreement with that and requires 2 things of the catholic spouse.
1. The mother shall set forth a good example of her own religion and attend mass, acknowledge high holy days as required of her, fast on the days required and live in accordance to the commandments.
AND
2. The catholic parent is prohibited from undermining the chosen religious upbringing of her children.
It would be helpful to know the motivation behind your wife's decision that the children be raised in her faith. Perhaps a canonist (religious scholar) could guide you and your wife to a compromise. I'm not up on my Orthodox canon but to know they have their own which is seperate from RC.
So you're basically fine with your children being misguided?
If you and your wife have discussed this issue and decided that your children should be free to make up their own minds about faith, then it seems unreasonable for her to now try to christen/baptise them into Christianity. It may be that other concerns are influencing her - she may be frightened that they will face prejudice and discrimination if they follow Islam (and be trying to protect them from that), or she may be under pressure from other people to do this.
Try to talk with her about why she now wants to do this, and hopefully she will see that it is unfair. Given the current political situation in Greece, I can understand if she is wanting to do this to protect her children, but it is more important to do the right thing rather than the easy thing.
Even if she goes ahead with christening your children, you can still show them Islam through being the best Muslim you can be and setting a good example of faith and integrity.
Salaamu alaykulm Brother
I am from former Orthdox Christian religion Macedonian at that I was raised and grown up in strict christian private schools and hamdollilah For one year now I am Muslima 100% by my own will because that's what Allah (swt) wanted.
i have a lot to say to you if you are a true believer and you have the Iman in your heart you would not be doubting Allah's way of you being privileged born Muslim and teaching this to your offspring that Allah has granted you blessings with your children should be taught about islam and you shouldn't be shy about it and I wonder why you don't encourage your wife about islam also and why is she so fearful of it? I was once blind to the beauty of islam until our Allah Almighty showed me the correct way. I would tell you something else also that I'd like your children to be part of the ones who lead islam in your location as they will possibly be part of the 10% remaining left to make a difference to encourage other unbelievers to learn the truth that Allah (swt) is the Almighty Creator and Prophet Muhammed is the messenger (pbuh).
Therefore upon saying that I highly recommend you to trust in Allah (swt) and I promise I'll make Dua for you and your family Inchallah. I also like to say that Mashallah No one is higher than Allah the Exalted and Allah knows best.
Salaams
From Sister Zainab
Salaams,
According to Islam, the children should take the father's religion- so in this case the children should be raised Muslim as you are Muslim. You told your wife once before that they will "choose their own religion" when they grow up. Even though this is true in a general sense for everyone no matter how they were raised, the truth is this should not have been your approach at the beginning of the marriage. Ideally you would've educated your wife that the children would be raised Muslim, and she would agree to that if she truly wanted to marry you.
I understand that for whatever reason that's not the way it played out, but it doesn't mean you have to keep going along that track. I suggest you sit down with your wife now and explain to her how the children are to be raised Muslim and then begin their Islamic education immediately. There really is no place for them to be christened or taught another religion in your household at this point.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I think this is one of the major problems posed when you marry a non muslim. which religion do the children follow?.
Yes we want our children to be raised muslims but both the motherand the father have rights on the child. becuase your wife is christain its natural that she would want the children to believe in what she believes in. just like i want my children to follow islam i wouldnt teach them christiniaty because i dont believe in it.
so how can your christain wife raise your children as muslims if she doesnt believe in islam? . Usually the mother would be more close to her children in terms of shaping their believes and persinality... children are more inclined to the mother.
There are enough problems with muslims marrying muslims of the same culture and caste status etc. i cant imagine how much problems occur with muslim marrying a different religion... why complicate your life.
Anyways the only thing you can do now is talk to her and discuss your thoughts. If she doesnt agree with you you cant force her because from her point of view they are her children too.
I pray you can sort things out inshallah.
Simple answer to your question!! You MUST raise your children as muslims, indoctrinate them with the islamic faith while they are still young, and never allow anybody to misguide your children to the wrong path.. No matter the prejudice, you will not allow your children to take a path that would doom them to eternal torment and destruction in hell fire.
You should even be thinking of ways that you could convince your wife to accept islam, rather than allowing her to continue on her wrong path.
ALMIGHTY ALLAH said "AND WHOEVER SEEKS A RELIGION OTHER THAN ISLAM, IT WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTED OF HIM, AND IN THE HEREAFTER HE WILL BE ONE OF THE LOSERS." koran3:85
also, in the books of hadiths, it is narrated by Abu Huraira, that the massanger of Allah (muhammad pbuh) said: "By Him (Allah) in whose Hand muhammad's soul is, there is none from amongst the jews and christians (of there present nations) who hears about me and then dies without believing in the massage with which i have been sent (ie islamic monotheism), but he will be from the dwellers of (Hell) Fire." (sahih muslim, the book of faith, vol. 1, hadith No. 153. S.S.M.H 20).
So brother, if you really love your wife and children, then you will not leave them to continue wondering in darkness, because if they die in that state of disbelief, they are going to hell fire, and they are going to abide therein for all eternity.
Perhaps you might think you dont have influence on your wife, and it might be difficult for you to convince her to accept islam. Ok then, leave her to study islam at her own pace and pray that Allah should guide her to His path - islam.
But you surely have a say and an inflence over your children, especially now that they are still young. NEVER allow anybody to christen or baptise your children, Never allow anybody to teach or influence your children to any religion other than islam.
Each time you visit the mosque for your prayers, listening to sermons etc, go with your children. Teach them islam from there childhood until there maturity..
I hope this massage gets to you.
Mohd
AOA,
Raise your kids as Muslims of course! However problems may arise as I know of various stories like these that don't pan out too well. Sorry.
Since mothers are the primary carers of children, she will automatically have more of an influence over them. She may well undermine all your efforts and give them conflicting advice. Or she will make her faith seem so attractive. Plus with Islamophobia ever on the rise, you will really have to invest quality time with your kids and show them the beauty of Islam, in a delicate manner.
Tell her as you are the husband and as head of the family, the children should follow your beliefs, otherwise how can you be able to run the family well if you are the 'odd one out' so to speak. Let there be no compulsion in religion so tell her when they are mature enough they are free to choose their own way.
You've put yourself in a difficult spot since Catholicism is so opposite to Islam as they have idolatry and celibacy. Idol worship is shirk and the most major sin. I pray for your kids to be Muslims.