Erotic phone calls with fiancee, is it a sin?
Assalam' Alaikkum Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I am a Muslim guy aged 27, working in a reputable company in a very good position, in a country other than my own.
I recently became engaged when I was on vacation. My fiancee is also a fresh professional graduate. Me and my fiancee have gotten very close and our major mode of communication is via phone.
Lately we both have been experiencing intense sexual attraction towards each other. What started as innocent jokes by the both of us have escalated into full blown late night calls with erotic talk. I am confident that we both have never experienced such before (both of us haven't had any relationships or casual sexual escapades).
Our problem is that we both feel guilty the next morning and vow never to repeat it till our Nikah. But involuntarily we keep sliding into the same ways as we both are not able to curb our strong feelings.
As far as my understanding of Quran goes on the related subject we are committing Zina, since we are not yet married. But I am also a bit confused (dunno whether it's my subconscious wish to legitimize our actions) since Zina constitutes actually being together and committing the sin, if I should take the wordings from the Quran, literally.
Lately I have been telling my fiancee that its perfectly natural for "Madly in Love", betrothed to have such feelings for each other, but I'm not fully convinced myself. Please do advise me whether I really am committing a great sin.
If yes, please advise me how to strengthen our resolve, without hurting her feelings or making her feel that I have lost interest in her.
N.B: Our Nikah is slated 2 months from now. Also it has been 6 months since we were engaged.
Your Esteemed Advice and Observations are keenly awaited,
- muslim1612
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Salaams,
Yes, it is natural to have feelings of attraction toward someone we intend to marry. That doesn't mean, however, that we should indulge these feelings freely or express them to one another outside of the proper context of marriage.
Zina is not only something that requires face to face contact. There is zina of the eyes and zina of the tongue, in addition to physical zina in all it's forms. All types of zina are prohibited. Speaking in a sexual manner to someone to whom you are not married, or willingly listening to such talk, is just as forbidden as hopping into bed together.
If the phone calls are too much for the both of you, perhaps they should cease for a while. Stick to written forms of communication, or if you must place a call have someone present in the room to hold you accountable to what is said. There are ways to safeguard yourselves against this continuing, if you are both willing to sacrifice the convenience of speaking freely to one another without supervision.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Walaikum assalam
Perform your nikah, today, if possible. if not, do it tomorrow.
If everyone is happy, why are you putting off doing the nikah?
assalamalaikum
Dear this month
IS RAMAZAN YOU HAVE TO STRCITLY AVOID THAT ALL PRACTICE OF CHATTING AT ANY COST THAT IS FOR SURE.......NO OPTION ONE OR TWO CALL OR SMS-'BECASUE IN THIS MONTH 70 TIMES DEEDS FOR GOOD DEED AND 70 TIMES DEED FOR BAD DEED -
ONE MORE MONTH YOU CAN MAKE YOUR SELF STRICT ANY WAY AFTER 1 MONTH PRACTICE YOU WILL HAVE WILL POWER WHICH IS THE REASON RAMAZAN HAS COME FOR US TO BUILD SELF RETRAINT-
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and young women, if this correspondence is free from immorality, love and desire?
He replied: It is not permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the temptation involved in that. The person may think that there is no temptation, but the shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him through her, and tempts her through him.
SEE THE CLEAN TYPE OF CORRESPONDENCE IS ITSELF NOT PERMITTED -THEN WHERE IS THE QUESTION OF EROTIC ONE IT IS CLEAR CUT CONDEMMED AND HARAM IN ISLAM-
MONTH RAMAZAN YOU ASK FORGIVENESS FOR THE PAST YOU BOTH HAVE DONE SO THAT YOU GET BLESSINGS OF ALLAH FOR THE FUTURE PART OF LIFE-THIS MONTH IS THE MONTH OF FORGIVNESS-
SO TAKE THE ADVANTAGE AND THIS MUCH DEDICATION CAN BE DONE BY BOTH OF YOU BY PASSING THIS MONTH IN FORGIVENESS AND 1 MORE MONTH FOR SHOWING YOUR GRATITUDE BY KEEPING OFF-
REGARDS
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Would you like Allah to punish you for this in your marriage? Ask his forgiveness and he will forgive you, it is a promise.
Try to make the nikah earlier. It is a wonderful thing that you both have strong sexual attraction to each other. But don't let this escalate.
Allah aza wa jal commands us to not even approach zina.
And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
Indeed it is a way which opens up to even more evils. You must wait until you are married and make dua to Allah to keep yourselves chaste. You must also try to reduce the desire temporarily by fasting.
Keep a far distnce n struggle to stay in right do dua fr strength to be firm on this
You must marry today.... did you understand please !
today means today .... not TOMORROW ok.