Help! Need advice for lowering gaze
Salam brothers and sisters,
I have a problem in my life and I hope that you can help me. I am a male person who is married for nearly 1 year and a half. At the beginning of our marriage I was really happy with my wife. In my eyes it was nearly perfect. After a while I started feeling that the love is getting less than before. Then I began to develop a really bad habit. I started to look at other girls, but not in a sexual way. I just started to feel that some other girls are more gorgeous than my wife. I knew and know that it isn't right, but always when I am seeing such a girl I try to lower my gaze but I fail. After I see this girl I get a bad feeling. I just start to think that maybe I had to marry this girl, because of her apperance. I know this is a really bad habit and I am always trying to overcome it 🙁
It isn't the case that my wife is a bad wife. On the contrary, she is a good muslim person who is loving me and caring about me. I hope that you can help me with this problem, because I feel so depressed and want to overcome this problem !
Baraka Allahu fikum 🙂
Salam_Guy
4 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
First of all, you let Shaitan get the better of you. Unfortunately. When you look at a girl once, you are supposed to look away and resist temptation of a second glance.
Secondly imagine your wife looking and noticing other men who are much more handsome and much more masculine than you. How would you feel? Jealous, hurt, embarrassed, enraged?
You are trying to fault her looks. Is your wife not beautiful? And blame her for the decline of love. Did you argue or fight. Why is there a lack of love. Have a talk with her. You should hash all these topics out to her. If you are upset, talk to her and address the problem and move forward.
If you are still looking at girls and praising that they look better than your wife, you have an underlying mental issue at hand. Hopefully you can get some counseling or see a shrink.
Treat and treasure your wife like a queen. You only have ONE WIFE. Instead of mulling over other girls looks which is abhorrent. Spend the time making your wife happy instead. Do activities with her. Help her with her household chores. Etc. All the best. Insyallah all will go well.
There is no mental problem here .
He just need to find ways to control this habit and avoid looking and thinking about other women .
I suggest you to get involved in more demanding and high pressure jobs then you wont be having enough time to think all those .
You should read translation SURAH AHZAAB AND SURAH NISSAA it is helpful for you and you should keep with abolution in this way you can control your eyed.
OP:I am a male person who is married for nearly 1 year and a half. At the beginning of our marriage I was really happy with my wife. In my eyes it was nearly perfect. After a while I started feeling that the love is getting less than before. Then I began to develop a really bad habit. I started to look at other girls, but not in a sexual way. I just started to feel that some other girls are more gorgeous than my wife. I knew and know that it isn't right, but always when I am seeing such a girl I try to lower my gaze but I fail. After I see this girl I get a bad feeling. I just start to think that maybe I had to marry this girl, because of her appearance.
What do you mean look at other girls, but not in a sexual way</strong. How would you feel if your wife looks at other men in a non-sexual way?
Your wife was nearly perfect. After a while your love for your wife started getting less and less.
Even if you marry more gorgeous girl than you wife, you probably get bored with her in 1-2 weeks.