Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel like killing myself all the time

Science class at an Islamic school for girls, time to study,

Asslam walaykum.

I used to be a very diligent student who did really well at school. I was doing Ok until I had to take a board exam. I kept delaying this exam for the fear of failing and the hope that I could do better. I have been studying for a very long time, and I can't seem to concentrate anymore. All I can think about is killing myself over and over again. I pray all the time and I seem to be stuck in this loop and I can't get out. I feel like Im broken and I don't know why I dont have the courage to take this test and move on. Is there any dua that I can say to increase my concentration and reduce my fear?

-Ameera 22

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12 Responses »

  1. Dear Ameera,
    I am no expert on Islam so much as the others on this site but I want you to know that this exam is no measure of who you are. In the eyes of Allah subhana huwatAllah you are beautiful and the only thing that matters is your deen. Taking test is just a thing of dunya so rest easy that it will not affect who you are "in the long run".
    I will keep you in my prayers Ameera jan.
    Your loving sister,

    • Masha´Allah, thank you for being so compassionate.

      María M

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister Ameerah,

      In addition to the good advice by Sister Shereen above, you may want to read this useful du'a below.


      You do not have to rely on the du'a alone, but you need to show some efforts in your studies and then Allah will take you where you want, inshaAllah.

      Transliteration of the du'a:

      Allahumma Inni A'udhu Bika Minal-'Ajzi, Wal-Kasli, Wal-Jubni, Wal-Harami, Wal-Bukhli,,, Wa A'udhu Bika Min 'Adhaabil-Qabri, Wa A'udhu Bika Min Fitnatil-Mahya Wal-Mamaat.

      English translation for the du'a:

      O Allah, I seek refuge in You from weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, anxiety and sorrow,,, and I seek refuge in You from the torments of grave, and I seek refuge in You from the trials and tribulations of life and death.

      May Allah (swt) ease the way for you, and bless you with good and useful knowledge. Ameen!

  2. Salaam Sister, do you have someone to discuss this with? I would sincerely advise you to speak to someone who understands how this type of feeling works. Pls let me know if you want to discuss this with a professional person and I can put you in touch with someone.

    A. Hakeem

    • Salaams,

      If you have any information for professional help you can feel free to post it publicly here; however I'm sure it would benefit the sister more to have resources near where she lives. Sister, If you don't want to publicize where you live, you can certainly let us editors know privately and we will confidentially provide you any local resources that are available.

      -Amy Editor

  3. Salaams,

    Sister, as a mental health professional I can see that the stress and pressure you are feeling about this test is not affecting you in a healthy way at all. It's not normal to have something like that cause you to feel suicidal (feeling suicidal for any reason is a red flag that someone is extremely overwhelmed). Could it be there are other stressors in your life that are also contributing to these feelings?

    In any case, sometimes when we are that maxed out we can't just talk ourselves out of it. Thoughts can become intrusive and harrass us against our will. This is something that usually takes more than just some pep talks to bring back into balance, and medication is often necessary when it reaches this level.

    Sister, in your case I think you would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and getting on some medication to help you feel more at ease and focused. It can reduce your anxiety levels and apprehension, and quell the suicidal thoughts. Perhaps taking it for a short period of time will enable you to muster enough confidence to complete the exam, and once your results come back as passing in shaa Allah you can wean yourself off the medication under your doctor's supervision.

    You can certainly feel free to talk to a counselor as well, if there are other issues going on you need to work out. However I would like to warn you that feelings this intense don't magically disappear, they need to be managed effectively and professionally. Take care of yourself and your emotions, and in shaa Allah you will find the way forward less frightening.

    -Amy Editor

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I was going to post pretty much the same thing, so rather than repeating what has already been said, I'll just add that I agree with my fellow editor's advice - MashaAllah.

      May Allah ease your burdens and grant you comfort and peace of mind.

      Midnightmoon editor

  4. For some reason you seem to be lonely. Some time extreme controlling parents can instill fear in their kids which can show up in different ways.

    A board exam is just like any other exam. Fear of failure is and not the board exam is your problem.

    You need to see a good therapist. Do you have friends you can share your problem with?

  5. Walaykum as salam, Ameera,

    My first advice to you, it is to talk to your parents about it and if you cannot stand anymore, please ask them to take you to a professional that can guide you through this episode in your life. Any way, insha´Allah, I will try to show you some light if God allows me and guides me to it.

    When an obstacle is put on a side, for us to get stronger to face it, it has the bad taste of growing up in our minds as time passes by. The real obstacle has had the same size and difficulties all the time but our mind has created a distorted image of it because we felt not capable of facing it at the begining, we sent the message that we were weak to deal with it, what it may not be true, but what it was true was our decision and our feelings towards it, the mind got the message and it doesn´t matter how hard you study it is never enough because the weakness seems to be stronger, because the fear grows up and this is a positive feedback to the mind that it is doing the right thing not facing the obstacle.

    Well, after this little mess, the fact here is that you need to get out of the loop as you said,thank God you are here asking for help.

    How do we do this?

    You need to prepare yourself physically, mentally and spiritually, Let´s go for it, insha´Allah.

    Physically, ...Eat well, fresh vegetables and fruits, dried fruits and nuts(specially walnut, see that it has the shape of a brain), beans, cereals, fish, meat, eggs, dairy, ...You need to have a nutritious meals and don´t abuse of sugar, salt, sodas, caffeine ...better to take sugar in little quantities than artificial sweeteners.

    ....Exercise, just to walk 40 minutes a day will be enough, you need to oxigenate your blood more actively through exercise.

    Mentally... A good mental exercise can be to visualize yourself through all the steps you have to take to go to the exam, to be there and to get out of there with a normal, healthy attitude. This will help insha´Allah to get out of the mental loop that has catched you until now.

    ...Spiritually, I would advice you to pray surah Al-Fatihah and ayat al-Kursi, whenever you feel like doing it.

    May God guide you every breath you take. Ameen.

    You need to believe and to acknowledge your weaknesses as fortitudes. You prepared yourself and you are ready to face the exam, whatever the results are.

    Best times to make Dua (Supplication)

  7. Walaikumusalam warehmatullahe wabarakatuhu!
    Read very very carefully,
    As from your post I can see alhumdulillah! And after analysis it seems that you have been targeted by someone with a black magic. Ina lil lahe waina elahe rajeoun. The condition you said is evident. Loop, killing and fear. The basic factors. Now you need to get out of this loop insha'Allaah. First, check this informative link if you fall in the category or not. I pray that you have not been targeted by the magic (insha'Allaah). Show this reply to your parents. In case if one of your parents might be step father or mother. Then show the reply to one you trust the most.

    If you have been targeted by the magic (Ina lil lahe waina elahe rajeoun) then search on the same site link above for remedies. Otherwise, do as what you have been guided by all the replies on your post.

    Allaah Knows the Best!

  8. Sis before starting revision for this exam everytime read the dua before studyin which you can get by typing on google. Also everytime you feel stressed or fear just know that its shaytan and just do dhikr. In sh Allah also make dua to Allah to help you. But most importantly remember that this world is only temporary. May Allahh help you and grant you sucess in this world and the next.Be strong sis.

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