The man I love married someone else
I would like your advise, I love someone and he loves me too. But due to family pressure he got married to someone else.
He still loves me and is ready to marry me. What could be the islamic way to get married to each other?
We had a relationship since before his marriage and continued the same. Kindly suggest.
- sabi786n
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Sabi786n, Asalaamualaykum,
You have stated that you are having a relationship with a married man. If this is a haraam relationship then you are both committing a great sin and I must remind you that this carries great punishment for it in this life and the next. Furthermore you are taking the right of another woman if you are having an illegal relationship with her husband, you may be accountable for this too in the hereafter. If you are not having a physical relationship with this man, Alhumdulillah, but an emotional relationship with him is also haraam. I urge you to stop any wrongs that you doing and make sincere tawbah to Allah.
This man gave into the family pressure, hence got married to someone else, but still wants to marry you.
I would not advise you to encourage him to divorce his wife, as breaking up a married couple is yet another major sin. He can take you as a second wife, but then he will have to treat you both equally, as he will be held accountable for this in the hereafter. You will also need to be emotionally strong enough to be a second wife; you will feel extreme jealously and will have to share your husband with another woman in every way. The best case scenario is that you and the first wife will accept sharing a husband and your husband will treat you both equally.
Or you could simply count your losses or your blessings, depends how you wish to view things and walk away from the hassle. Let this man get on with his marriage, let him sort out his emotions, having you on the scene will always keep him from forming a proper relationship with his wife - so you will incur sin. For yourself ask Allah to give you sabr, control your nafs and force yourself to move on. InshaAllah, things will become easier for you if you patiently persevere. Regardless of any sins that have been committed, if you walk away from this in order to preserve peace amongst this married couple, I am sure that Allah will reward you for sacrifice you have made by taming your nafs and emotions.
May Allah guide you to making the best choice.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
Aswlkm. Thanks for your advise.. I pray that Allah will accept our apologies for the wrong relationship we had. Pls pray for both of us sister and especially for sabi to move on.
Sister z i really hope one day i can be as humble and knowledgeable as u. U have a way of speaking that really makes me cry and strikes a chord with my own situation.
Aliya25,
JazakhAllah for your kind words, but I am truly striving and struggling as you and others are too. Allah knows my flaws and there are many. He(swt) knows how much I lack in humbleness and other admirable traits and I pray that He(swt) makes me of those who are truly humble. Allah has gifted me with the ability to express myself through words, I pray I improve in my ability to use my tongue just as well inshAllah, especially with my family.
I am happy that my words have helped you. All credit to Allah though as He(swt) is my inspiration. May Allah replace your difficulty with ease, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
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Sister is there any way i can mail u privately fir advice?
Aliya25,
I shall email you inshAllah.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com, Editor
If you hate his ex try reading I HATE HIS EX by Alex Cooper. I had loads of problems with my fiance’s ex and I have now resolved them thanks to the advice in this book! You can get it on Amazon! Definitely worth a read! 🙂