IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Salam alaikum,
I have been going through a personal crisis, and in my helpless state I have chosen to finally discuss it and ask for advice from someone with knowledge and compassion. I am very very sorry and extremely ashamed to be doing this, and I would request you to please delete this after you read it. I observe the veil- I try to take it seriously, but maybe I made mistakes in my demeanour and mannersism... well I do not know.

I studied at a co education university some 3 years back, and wearing the full veil and limiting interaction with men, I thought I was 'safe' and beyond any likelihood into falling into the traps of Shaytan. But there was this man in my class who used to turn up with notes and materials when I needed them, even though I never used to ask him. He also at times asked for my help with a few projects as I was considered to be a good student and he used to miss classes as he had to travel to his distant hometown often. Anyway, I thought with my dresscode and my general self-restraint in behaviour all was okay. Besides, this man was known in the class for being one of the better behaved and sensible people, and most girls felt he was safe and reliable and mature.
Till one day shortly after graduation he called up and said he wanted to marry me. I could not believe my ears. Anyway I just said I can say and do nothing without my familys consent and only they will decide. I brought the whole thing up with family and they immediately rejected the idea because he happened to be divorced and father of an infant son, and belonged to a village. He wanted to send over his mother to my place as I had said that everything would be through parents and not us directly- but my parents declined it and did not allow the visit.

Anyway I told him it is over as my family has refused.
He began to send me poetry and emotional messages which really irked me and I changed my number. However as you know the internet is there and he kept following me on the internet, googling everything about me- and being an active person in my career field, the internet had quite a bit about me.
For all these years that passed, he has been emailing me almost everyday- extremely sentimental avowals of his feelings. I did not respond except to correct him and remind him of how wrong he was. He would respond saying the whole thing was spiritual and pure and 'for Allahs sake', and there was nothing physical or evil about it as it was my qualities he appreciated and he had every right to want to formalize the relationship through marriage as marriage was the halal way.

Even though I did see the point I remained unresponsive and even at times rude because I can never think of doing anything against my parents wishes. I told him I would never ever do anything against their wishes and he must accept it with patience but he said he trusted Allah and he would never abandon the hope and I was on the wrong. He said the tie was spiritual and divine, and he even claimed he had dream-messages or whatever which told him this was meant to be.

Anyway I kept quiet and quite final in my refusal to entertain his wish. He just said he would wait for me for all eternity, and I thought he was just being dramatic. I said to him it was sinful that he kept thinking about me and that I do not allow him to either communicate with me or think of me in a way Allah does not like. He said he could not help it and the only thing he had was his dreams and no one could take that away from him. I just thought it was sick.
And then one day he wrote saying he could not bear this any longer and that if I did not allow him to think of me, he would dull his senses and get himself into a state of oblivion so that he can never commit this sin and I can be at peace- he said he had started taking drugs. I was horrified and thought alhamdulillah my parents refused this weird man. And did not care about it.
And now he has mailed me a long and very sentimental poem (he always wrote poetry and stuff) at the end of which he has written that he swears he shall take his life as there is no worth and meaning to it, and that he will convince me through his dying that he was true and that I have been cruel. He says He will make Allah his witness that my family and I did zulm on him and made him unable to live hs life; he says he cannot bear it and I shall soon hear the news, and the world will know his story.
I have been utterly shaken by this! I mean, whatever and whoever he is, at least he is a human being, and he has parents and a little son!!!!! And he holds ME and MY PARENTS responsible!!!! What if Allah does not forgive me and my family, as Alah listens to the cry of the one in pain? He swears by Allah that he is in pain. And it is true that where there is no nikah then things get worse, and my parents did refuse the nikah which is the halal way. But I love my parents and I don't want them to be punished in akhirah! I want to talk to him and beg him to stop but I have already stopped all communication with him for Allahs sake and I think if I call him and obviously he willl talk emotionally, may be I will be committing a sin again?
The biggest thing that is killing me is the feeling that maybe Allah is very very very angry with me and this is His punishment. I do not say I am an angel and maybe I have been careless or whatever, but does Allah punish so gravely for our human carlelessness? Wallahi I have prayed astaghfar over this matter many times too... but the fact that it is just going from bad to worse makes me think Allah is most severely angry with me.
I love my parents but they do not want to even hear his mention, ever. And as a human being, I do not want his life to be in vain and wasted in this horrible manner. I fear for my honour and my family's. I am in extreme distress.
And I am so ashamed and humiliated to have to say this. I have always had nothing to do with such disgusting petty stupid matters, by Allah! :'-( But I am driven to the point that I have no way but to tell my horrendous story in this manner. Please advise me; my mind is not in a stable state right now.
Please protect my secret and delete this filthy rubbish soon after reading it.
I am clueless and in great agony :'-(