Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant after caring for a sick man

are short sleeves for hygiene reasons acceptable?

Nurse caring for the sick.

Good day everyone,

I'm trying to make sense of a situation I'm in. I met a man about 2 years ago who became gravely sick a week after we met.

I was there while he was hospitalized all the way until he came home after surgery. I started staying in his home to provide daily care for him and during this time we had no relationship until after 7 months of him being home.

His parents live in a different country and decided I would be his wife, and as soon as he was back on his feet we would have a traditional wedding.

However, fast forward a year and a half later I'm 7 weeks pregnant and confused as to what step we need to initiate before the birth of this child being that it was sex before marriage.

Can someone please give me some advice; we are both good Muslim individuals.

-milania4850


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7 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I have to be honest with you. I'm not sure how you wound up caring for him during his illness. It was not your responsibility, and it put you in a compromising and haram position of being alone with a non-mahram.

    Getting married right away would change your relationship status from haram to halal, but somehow I feel that's a simplified solution to a very serious issue, namely how you managed to get yourself into this situation. I personally don't feel like it's productive for people to make wrong choices, live anti-Islamic lifestyles for extended periods of time, and then "fix it" with a nikkah once it goes too far (like for example, when a pregnancy occurs).

    I think the best advice I can give you is to take some time with yourself and examine your intentions and motivations when making choices overall. It's easy to go get married and have that part out of the way, but if you have a bad habit of doing things based on feelings or without thinking them through, there's a good chance you can pass those habits along to your child inadvertently. I don't think that's something any parent wants, so re-evaluating your approach to life so you can give your children the best values for their own lives is in order.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. He committed zina with her and she got pregnant; can he marry her while she is pregnant or should she abort he foetus?

    One of my wifes divorced Muslim friends is not married and is pregnant. She wants to know if it is haraam for her to have an abortion or whether she should keep it (she is 4 weeks pregnant). The man who has made her pregnant also wants to marry her. Can she get married while she is pregnant ? There is no chance that anyone else is the father.

    Praise be to Allaah.
    Firstly:

    It is permissible for the one who committed zina to marry the woman with whom he committed zina if they are no longer regarded as zaani, which is after repenting sincerely. If she is pregnant, it is not permissible to do the marriage contract with her until her pregnancy ends, and the child is not to be named after the zaani according to the majority of scholars. Some scholars are of the view that the illegitimate child is to be called after the zaani if he acknowledges him. See the answer to question no. 33591

    In Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah it says: What is required of both of them is to repent to Allah then to give up this crime and regret what has happened in the past of committing immoral actions, and they should resolve never to go back to it and they should do a lot of righteous deeds in the hope that Allah will accept their repentance and turn their bad deeds into good deeds. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

    69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;

    70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful

    71. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”

    [al-Furqaan 25:68-71]

    If you want to marry her, you have to wait until it is established that she is not pregnant by waiting for one menstrual cycle before doing the marriage contract with her. If it turns out that she is pregnant, it is not permissible for you to do the marriage contract with her until after the pregnancy ends, in accordance with the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that a man should not irrigate the crop of another with his water.

    End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah, vol. 9, p. 72

    Secondly:

    It is not permissible to abort the foetus in order to get rid of the shame of zina. See the answer to question no. 13331.

    And Allah knows best.

    Islam Q&A

    http://islamqa.info/en/ref/165438

    • Salaams,

      I'm sorry but I don't understand why he is basing the entire fatwa on the statement "in accordance with the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that a man should not irrigate the crop of another with his water." "The crop of another" implies there is another party, whereas a man marrying a lady he impregnated himself would have no such other party. There would only be "his own crop".

      Honestly, I have never heard anything that supports this fatwa. I understand that this website is run by a particular scholar and I am nowhere near his level of knowledge, I do not think this doesn't mean the scholar may not have rushed in reading the question and made a mistaken response. I think there needs to be more support for this, because I've never heard anything regarding pregnancy prohibitions in fiqh except as it applies to the iddah for a divorce.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salam everybody,

    Well there is a difference of opinions among the scholars about this issue" getting married while pregnant"

    According to the hanafi madhab, it is permissible and the child would be considered legitimate as long as the mother give birth after at least 6 months.

    Meaning that you would have to get married befor you reach 12 weeks of pregnancy.

    According to other scholars ( salafi mainly) as you can see in theses fatwa above it is not allowed at all

    You both have to repent sincerly . May Allah forgive you and grant you a pious child.

  4. Hey Al

    Perhaps you misread the Fatwa it clearly says IT's Permissible! Ive reposted it here for you viewing. Be careful before you post. This too is dangerous.

    It is permissible for the one who committed zina to marry the woman with whom he committed zina if they are no longer regarded as zaani, which is after repenting sincerely. If she is pregnant, it is not permissible to do the marriage contract with her until her pregnancy ends, and the child is not to be named after the zaani according to the majority of scholars. Some scholars are of the view that the illegitimate child is to be called after the zaani if he acknowledges him. See the answer to question no. 33591

    • Salaams,

      I don't think he misunderstood. The fatwa clearly states that a pregnant zani must wait until the baby is delivered to marry. Al was saying that according to Hanafi, a pregnant zani does NOT have to wait until the baby is born. They can marry during the pregnancy (which is contrary to what the fatwa says).

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • This also supports the understanding I had previously and what Al said:

        As far as the marriage (nikah) is concerned, according to the reliable and preferred opinion in the Hanafi Madhhab, it is valid and legitimate. Then, if the pregnancy is of the one who committed adultery with her (meaning, adulterer and adulteress get married), then it would be permissible to have sexual relations. However, if the woman committed adultery with other than who she is marrying, then it will not be permissible to have sexual intercourse with her until she gives birth, because of the Prophetic prohibition relating to this. [Related in Abu Dawud, Ahmad, and Darimi]

        from http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=2040&CATE=10

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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