I regret having pre-marital sex
Salam,
I have comitted zina and I regret it since then. I have sought forgiveness from Allah. I'm so depressed and I cry about it. I wish it had never happened and I don't know now what to do. I have sworn never to let it happen again but I desperately need counselling and advice.
This event has left me weak and angry with myself. I know the punishment in this world is 100 stroke of the cane.
Does that mean I wont be forgiven until I get flogged?
And I wish to marry the man it happened with but his islam is not strong still and I'm helping him get better at Islam. What do I do? Leave him? Or stay with him and if I don't marry him do I tell my husband before or after we are married about this?
Please help me. I hope you reply soon
Jazakallahu khairan!!
-Anonymousdr
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My sister,
You have taken the necessary steps to move on from this. You have resolved not to repeat your mistake, and asked Allah for forgiveness. You do not need to be flogged. But you should check to make sure you did not catch any sexually transmitted diseases. Sorry to be blunt, but that is necessary.
Check out this:
The main idea is this: although stoning is the prescribed punishment, that is only imposed if you expose your sin. In the story in the above link, the person who committed zina kept returning to the Profit (phuh) to demand punishment. The profit gave him several chances, but the man who committed zina almost demanded to be punished, and in the end, the Profit (pbuh) had no other choice but to enforce the prescribed punishment.
And once Allah has forgiven you, put it behind you. It would serve no purpose to tell your future husband. It might make you feel better to tell him, but I doubt it would make him feel better to know.
- Your Brother
Assalamulaikum
Dear Sister
Please never tell ur Husband about that Zina.
No husband accept this truth that her wife had done it.
Seek forgiveness from almighty Allah.
For marry someone it is the first condition that the person is pious or not.
If u want to marry the man tell ur parents.
They will give u the proper solution.
Without ur parents permission don't do any thing.
If u do anything without their permission u will suffer in long run.
Sarah
But that would be cheating. I may or may not accept what my future wife did in past, but I do have full right to know whom I am marying have such a faulter( especially if that person is aware about it).
No, you have no such right. You have a right to know what the woman is like now. Does she pray, fast, wear hijab, have good character, etc? But you have no right to know the details of her past.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
So, tell me this. If I sold you a bad product, for a price of good product and you are not aware of it. How un-ethical that sound. I do agree i have no right to know if I am not gonna mary, but i do have the right to know if she ever had anykind of relationship before if we are going to mary, as much as she does. Past, preasent, and future, if I am gonna accept one person as my life partner, I belive I do have the right to know such a information. If not then please present me any kind of evidance that would go against my opinion.
A person's past does not make them a "bad product", astaghfirullah. Islam is a religion of tawbah and forgiveness. The salat is a means of forgiveness for the human being, Ramadan is a purifier and a means of forgiveness, and a sincere Hajj forgives all sins.
You have a right to know who she is and what she is like as a human being. NOT to pry into her past and learn everything she has done. That is reserved for Yawm Al-Qiyamah, when Allah will bare all a person's sins, and people will flee from each other as a result.
Are you going to sit before a prospective spouse and reveal every sin you committed? Every lie, envy, betrayal, or whatever wrong you have done in your life? I doubt it, nor should you. The Messenger of Allah (sws) told us that if Allah has concealed our sin, we should not reveal it.
This does not mean you or the woman should lie. Lying is forbidden in Islam. She cannot claim to be a virgin if she is not. But she should not also discuss her past sins. The best way is to find a path between these.
I advise people to say something like, "I have made mistakes in the past and I made tawbah for those mistakes. The details are between me and Allah. I live a chaste and pious lifestyle. If you are willing to accept that answer then let us proceed Insha'Allah, and if not then I understand."
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
First of all, my example here is not meant to mean human and product as same, but to meant sinciarity and honesty between 2 person who are going to share the life. Now lets go with sceanario like this, " supposed my wife had some past that she didn't told me. Now that past came to this present and start blackmailing her that he/she will inform me her past that might ruin our relationship and her reputation in socity, and for the fear of dignity and lossing family, she started fulfill those demand. This all thing could have been prevented from the begining, if only she told me. Though I am not forgetting another scenario of that me reminding her that every moment we have argument. But she will be safe from that sin."
So for the future for saving own self from more sin and dignity, and family husband or wife have the rights to know. Forgiving/accepting, thats compleatly up to other person. For your question regarding me, I do intend to let her know my past as much I am aware and didn't forgot. I would rather have nothing by being honest then keep hiding something and then start lying if such a situation come in life. Again not meant to product and human in same catagory :p.
Mazed, I understand what you are saying. I think we will agree to disagree on this one 🙂
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As you said, may allah give us right guidance. Amin!
Bismillahir rahmanir raheem.Assalam o alaykum wr wb.
All the praise belongs to Allah swt and jazakiallah for showing concer in gaining knowledge about Islam.I agree with sarah partially but completely detest with american muslim brother as he has interpreted the hadeeth in a wrong way!
Its because of this sluggish interpretation according to own understanding zinah has become common.
Not even Quraan demands stoning to death but even torah says soo.YOU PEOPLE DON'T REALISE HOW GRAVE SIN IT IS INDEED. I will narrate you the fatawa
"If you are forced on a gun point to say kufr words you are allowed to do so to save your soul..but on the other hand with the same token if you are forced to do zinah on gunpoint..YOU SHOULD PREFERRED TO GET KILLED..this is how its regarded as a grave sin.
Well in line to zinah not even flogs but banishment for a year is the prescribed punishment in a shariah compliance country.
And certainly if we confess or our sin is proven we liable to face the punishment.But if u are not living in shariah country then taubah is your tool but it should meet the following criteria.
1. Cessation of the sin.
2. Regret and remorse of the heart.
3. Firm resolve not to return to the sin.
4. Returning the right of the oppressed, in that which is particular to the rights of man.
Alee (r.a) who said that Aboo Bakr (r.a) told him
that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (Peace and blessings be upon him) say:
There is no servant who commits a sin and then he
purifies himself (wudoo') and then prays two rakaahs
and then seeks forgiveness of Allaah except that
Allaah forgives him. (mutaffun alaih-Ahmad, Aboo dawood eng trans. Vol. 1 #1516 and others]
I beseech you that that if you could flog urself ,u would surely feel the peace inside mentally,(sounds weird but true)
Se3condly in regards to revealing your husband think if he come to know about it from other source. Will he not think that u may have hidden many thinks.can u live life with him hiding a secret !!Even he could give divorce to you he has a valid reason.
So i advice you to say him earlier and if he accepts then machallah ,subhanallah u could live life in serenity..do not think of that hadeeth which says that we should not expose our sins because it isn't relevant to that.
for instance. Backbit, Gheebah is haram but when you are inquiring for a marriage prospect you can say the characteristics or whatever u know about there family and spouse its allowed..same as the case for witnessing in court.Do you expect the witness to hide the action,sins of offenders?
May allah swt bless you and guide always to right path ameen
Iman,
Assalamu alaykum
Thank you for concern for this sister and your help in correcting me on my errors. I have much to learn, and, inshallah, I will become a more pious Muslim.
May Allah (swt) grant you His best.
- Your Brother
Very informative reply iman ....
Jazakumullahu khairan for your kind perusal and understanding..May Allah swt give us guidance and wisdom to imply more then what we hear and read AMEEN.
Salaam sister.
Please do not despair. Zina is a major sin, but no sin is greater than the mercy of Allah swt.
Turn to Allah swt and make tawbah. The essential steps for Tawbah are below so please follow these steps:
You will see that repentance is something more than seeking forgiveness.
Because this is a serious matter, there have to be conditions attached. The scholars mentioned the conditions of repentance, based on aayahs from the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth. There follows a list of some of them:
1 – Giving up the sin immediately.
2 – Regretting what has happened in the past.
3 – Resolving not to go back to it.
You need to get out of this relationship, even if you do intend to marry this man because being in a pre-relationship is haraam in Islam. There is no point repenting and continuing to see and spend time with this man. Islamically it is not permitted for you to be alone with him in anyway - because when a non-mahram man and woman are alone together - shaytaan is the third. If you wish to marry him ask him to work on his deen and approach your parents properly and Islamically at the right time. If he is serious about learning about the deen and serious about marrying you he will do both of these things at the best time.
Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
So leave this sin by leaving this guy full-stop, ask Allah swt to forgive you.
Shaddad ibn Aws narrated that the Prophet [صلى الله عليه وسلم] said; "the most superior request for forgiveness is to say:
'Allaahmma anta rabbee laa elaaha illaa ant. Anta khalaqtanee wa ana 'abduka wa ana 'alaa 'ahdika wa wa'dika mastata't. A'oothu bika min sharri ma sana't. Aboo'u laka bi ni'matika alayya wa aboo'u laka bi thambee. Faghfir lee. Fa innahoo laa yaghfiruth-thunooba illaa ant.'
[O Allah, You are my Lord. There is no god besides You. You created me and I am Your servant, following your covenant and [my] promise to you as much as I can. I seek refuge in You from the evil that I have done. Before You I acknowledge Your blessings bestowed upon me and I confess my sins to You. So forgive me, for surely no one can forgive sins except You.]
The Prophet [صلى الله عليه وسلم] then added, 'anyone who says this during the day, firmly believing in it, and dies before the evening; or says it in the evening, firmly believing in it, and dies before the following morning, will be among the people of paradise.' "
[Sahih al-Bukhari, vol 8, pp212-3, no 318]
Please recite the above dua as much as possible. Make changes to your life dear sister. If you donot pray please start praying your fardh salat. Read Qur'an. Cry over your sin and if it comes to mind seek Allah's forgiveness. Dont let it take over your life though sister, be aware that if you repent sincerely after stopping the sin, Allah swt will not only forgive you, but he will turn this sin into a good deed. SubhanAllah.
I suggest you think very carefully about marrying this guy you did zina with. Look at his character to decide whether or not he is right. And ensure he is the right person and ask yourself why do you want to marry him? Is it out of guilt because you did zina with him? Because marrying him if he is unsuitable is a very very bad idea. Do think about this, as deep down I am sure you have the answer.
As for telling your husband unless it is something that affects him, you are under no obligation to tell him. You cannot lie if he directly asks you but if a man does ask you do avoid going into details. You could maybe say that Allah swt protected you from sins (meaning after you did tawbah) and he can interpret it how he wants. This is permitted.Ultimately it is up to you whether or not you decide to tell him but Islamically we need to conceal our sins unless where it is necessary. (And in most cases, it is not necessary to disclose our sin.)
“All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly. Part of committing sin openly is when a man does something at night and Allaah conceals it, but in the morning he says, ‘O So-and-so, last night I did such and such.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but in the morning he removed the cover of Allaah.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5721; Muslim, 2990)"
Please get yourself tested for STIs as this is something that needs to be checked, especially if you did not use protection and this is something that may affect a future spouse.
Sara
IslamicAsnwers.com Editor.
Elhamdulilah ala salatu wassalam ala rasulillahh. amma baad..
Assalam o alaykum wr wb.The dua which is mentioned above is from the set of duas recited every evening and morning which is very important. There is a book written by Wahaf Al-Qahttani which is Hasnul muslim found in abundance any part of the world.There you can find all the dua related to all walks of life AND YOU SHOULD SURELY READ THOSE EVENING AND MORNING SMALL SET OF DUAS.
Secondly,the verse which is mentioned BY SISTER SARAH IS FROM Surah Al Zumar v53 and again that verse is something general not specific.This verse implies the importance of repenting from sins.
I again do not agree with ukhti sara with due respect in regards tawbah as she is taking lightly the punishment prescribed as we fail to understand why it was prescribed..If only Tawbah was enough why banishment and flogs are prescribed? A human who underwent this above stated punishment never or rarely commits sin again,because he/she feels the punishment on his body..mind and soul to purify himself. Tell me arent there many people out there who commit sins again after repenting by fulfilling the above conditions.Yes they do.
What i would like to emphasis is this that do not forsake the punishment mentioned for this SIN.
I will narrate you a hadeeth which is muttafiq alaih
Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Mu`adh bin Jabal was riding on the beast with the Prophet (PBUH), when he (PBUH) said to him, "O Mu`adh!'' Mu`adh replied, "Here I am responding to you, and at your pleasure, O Messenger of Allah.'' He (PBUH) again called out, "O Mu`adh.'' He (again) replied, "Here I am responding your call, and at your pleasure.'' He (Messenger of Allah) addressed him (again), "O Mu`adh!'' He replied, "Here I am responding to you, and at your pleasure, O Messenger of Allah.'' Upon this he (the Prophet (PBUH)) said,
"If anyone testifies sincerely that there is no true god except Allah, and Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, truly from his heart, Allah will safeguard him from Hell.'' He (Mu`adh) said, "O Messenger of Allah, shall I not then inform people of it, so that they may have glad tidings.'' He (PBUH) replied, "Then they will rely on it alone (and thus give up good works altogether).'' Mu`adh (May Allah be pleased with him) disclosed this Hadith at the time of his death, to avoid sinning for concealing.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
subhanAllah!! this is also similiar to the incident of when Hadhrat Abu Huraira (ra) heard this hadiths, and he went around telling everyone, "if you say the shahada, you will go to jannah" and he told all the sahaba, when he told Hadhrat Umar (ra), Hadhrat Umar (ra) said "what", then Abu Huraira (ra) said it again and Hadhrat Umar (ra) punched him , imagine you telling someone a hadiths and they punch you! then the Hadhrat Abu Huraira (ra) went and complained to the Prophet (saw) that i told a hadiths and he punched me, and then RasoolAllah (saw) asked Hadhrat Umar (ra) "why did you do that" he said exactly the same thing mentioned in this hadiths, "people wont do any good they will just rely on sayin the shahada" subhanALLAH!! see thats why RasoolAllah (saw) said if there had to be another Prophet after me, it would have been Hadhrat Umar (Ra), shows how great Hadhrat Umar (Ra) is! and shows the mercy of Allah (Swt).
I hope you people have understood and ponder the notion of the above mentioned hadeeth. Even only tawbah from actions ,intention is sufficed but it wont stop in practical from sins because its in the fitrah of human to transgress and all are not that strong to detour there actions,sin just from repentance
Last but not least in line to revealing to husband if he inquires we cant say lie but do not say himm in detail! what does it mean?Every husband do inquire nowadays its very common now for guys and girls to have an affair its the SICKENING TRUTH (WHERE there parents don't know most of them).And will not the husband inquire in detail , come onnnn ,despite you have repented its the instinct which will urge him to ask about it(do not believe on this that no husband can accept wives courtship it even IMPLIES TO WOMEN)put urself in the shoes of your husband and assimilate if he also hide bla bla..how will you feel.Marriage is BUILT UPON TRUST AND TRUTH NOT HIDDEN PAST and PERCEIVING that it will damaged your marriage,its your own fallacy .You repented so if your marriage is meant to last it will.
first and foremost try to understand that which hadeeth implies generally and which is specific
Barakallahu feek
Iman,
Thank you for this detailed and thoughtful response, which is backed up with hadeeths that are very appropriate. I know that I have gained insight from your response. Inshallah, I will grow as a pious Muslim and gain in such understanding.
I look forward to seeing and gaining insight from other posts by you in the future, inshallah.
American Muslim
Barakallahu feek for allowing me to comment ,to spread and gain knowledge .elhamdulilah that i came to some use to spread the little knowledge i have .
Jazakiallah for your time to append on my comment. Surely u will inshallahu ta`ala and we all have to strive to be pious as entering JANNAH IS NOT EASY.
Rabighfirli warham.
Salams sister Iman,
We appreciate your efforts to help brothers and sisters in distress. However, sometimes your comments simply don't make any sense. You said,
I again do not agree with ukhti sara with due respect in regards tawbah as she is taking lightly the punishment prescribed as we fail to understand why it was prescribed..If only Tawbah was enough why banishment and flogs are prescribed? A human who underwent this above stated punishment never or rarely commits sin again,because he/she feels the punishment on his body..mind and soul to purify himself. Tell me arent there many people out there who commit sins again after repenting by fulfilling the above conditions.Yes they do.
So, what do you reckon if Sara isn't right? First and foremost their aren't any Muslim countries where Sharia is implied, secondly do you seriously think that after flogging even someone will not go back to committing the same sin or other sins? What if the person is living in a Western country; would you say that go against the country's law?
Also, tell me their aren't people out their who were punished for their crimes yet they went back and did the same?
What suggestion do you have for this sister; if flogging then where? We don't know how sincere people are in their intentions to repent and to not go back to sin but we can adopt the positive attitude we can toward our brothers and sisters. The fact that this sister wrote a post and asking for help means that she has repented and regrets her mistake; if she was happy with what she did then she won't be here in the first place.
Muhammad1982,
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Walaykum assalam wr wb. jazakallahu khairan for your concern and again brother you dont want to understand my point ! Why to stress on skipping the punishment?
Tell me if shariah is implied in one country and as u know in west it isnt.. which country will have more crime rates? Its logic isnt.
For shariah compliance country Saudi Arabia is there (how can u forget this,how did you said THERE AREN'T? ) where the flogging takes place if proved or confessed in front of "haya police"(promotion of virtue and prevention of vice) .
PS:I myself saw the shariah punishment in-front of my eyes. (I am a brother not sister )
Its clear that those who underwent the shariah punishment rarely went back to the sin . GIve me an incident official report where a person is flogged 100 times and banished and he/she did again for fornication .! Or someone given the punishment of theft and he returned back .(understand the hikmah of prescribed punishment).THERE MIGHT BE PEOPLE AFTER RECEIVING PRESCRIBED PUNISHMENT went back but very rare compared to those who have skipped the physical punishment.FOR SURE.
The punishment is there that's it ,DO NOT PERCEIVE FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE AKHI.
To append more and provide elucidating response on shariah countries. If there is no shariah country strive to make it ONE. EVERY PROPHET were bestowed with specific things which were not given to earlier prophets
al-`Awqi told us, Hushaym told us; and Sa`id Ibn an-Nadr told me, Hushaym informed us that Sayyar informed us, Yazid, i.e., Ibn Suhayb al-Faqir told us, Jabir Ibn `Abd Allah told us:
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I have been given five things which were not given to any amongst the Prophets before me. These are:
1. Allah made me victorious by awe [by His frightening of my enemies] for a distance of one month's journey.
2. The earth has been made for me [and for my followers] a "masjid" [Arabic: a place for prostration] and a means of purification. Therefore, my followers can pray wherever the time of a prayer is due.
3. The booty has been made halal [lawful] for me [and was not made so for anyone else].
4. Every Prophet used to be sent to his nation exclusively but I have been sent to all mankind.
5. I have been given the right of intercession [on the Day of Resurrection].
(bukhari)
I would like you to emphasis on the second point that what is the meaning of earth has made for me and my followers a place of worship? it means that you have to strive to built up a govt,conquer etcc to implement shariah ! REMEMBER THAT THIS EARTH IS NOT OWNED BY DISBLEIEVERS BUT ALLAH SWT AND HAS BEEN MADE AS PLACE OF WORSHIP FOR THE NATION OF MUHAMMAD SAWS.so as soon as you live in non shariah compliant country strive to implement shariah and if the basic necessities are objected/stopped by there govt. such as salah, hijab. etc its LADHIM FOR HIJRAH
I suggested earlier in my first comment but u didnt paid attention as she lives in non Islamic country that only taubah is her tool and also i state that //I beseech you that that if you could flog urself ,u would surely feel the peace inside mentally,(sounds weird but true)//
Because when we punish our body we inculcate the disgust inside us for the sin we did. Its natural phenomenon.
jazakumullahu khairan .
Hmm Saudi Arabia and Sharia!!!!!!!
Please don't get me started on that, I have had enough for tonight. Thanks though:).
Muhammad1982,
Editor, IslamicAnswers.com
Yes indeed muhammad do not take out your grudge:),Even if there is 1 percent shariah implemented is there any other country where shariah is official :)First and foremost do YOU STRIVE TO make it implemented in your own ambit ?NO.Did you tried to migrate to Islamic country no.rather many prefer to migrate to west isnt?And when they face problem they blame the govt.lol
I hope you actualise my point and learned the original facet of tawbah..Just hearing the news bla bla seeing the one side of the coin will get you nowhere.There are punishment carried out in shora court and i have seen the punishment from my own eyes when it was executed.
Yer, in places where Islamic Law is Established, even if in the least such as Saudi Arabia, punishments can be expected. But elsewhere, I doubt if Shar'i courts exist. Please correct me if they do. If where the sister lives is such a place, then she should probably ask for the punishment. And Allah knows best. But in absence of this, there remains no way but Tawbah.
Allah knows Best
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
As Salamualaikum
Sister, why are you keeping your contact with him when you know that it will lead to Zina again? I advise you to cut all contact with him and ask your parents to find you a righteous man.
You say that you are working on his deen. This is not possible sister. It will obviously lead to another Zina. Please keep away from him and cut all contact with him.
The only solution to this is to do this and to get married (to a Righteous man)
May Allah forgive you and get you married to someone He is Pleased with
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
imane, it's great how knowledgeable you are.. and i agree that the punishment of flogging should be taken seriously. you have rationalized it well, which is the beauty of islam. rationalization. everything, every punishment, every command has some logic.
however, you miss the hikmah of concealing the sins. i strongly disagree with your advice for her to tell it all to her husband. it's like you are asking her to jump off the bridge and if she's survives then, wonderful. if not, well then she wasn't meant to! .. tell me how many people have the chances of making out alive after jumping off a cliff? ..
P.S : i would call saudi arabia a selective-sharia country.
P.PS : only a sadist will feel relieved after 100 lashes.
P.P.P.S : never forget Allah is merciful.
sister leave this man he is using you and trust me he isn't going to keep his promises now he got what he wanted, except keep using you if you keep allowing him too you got to forget and move on. We women think differently we are too trusting and naive along with being stupid. Sister i urge you seriously wake up and smell the coffee he isn't worthy of you and leave him let him rot in hell and you concentrate getting back on the right path. Inshallah you will be fine allah is always with you ad believe you me there are loads of sisters who have fallen into this trap you have to repent and be strong for you.
Salam ,
Jazakallahu khairan brothers and sisters. I have truly benefited from all the words of advice and i will insha Allah make the best of choice. There is distance between me and the man it happened with and i have repented sincerely, i'm certain it will never happen again . May Allah(SWT) shower His mercy and blessings upon us all Ameen!!
This is why I'm glad I repented and told my fiance from the beginning I was no longer a virgin. I couldnt continue in a serious relationship unless he knew, because I wouldn't get my hymen re-done like other girls in my country do, to decieve there husbands. He without pausing understood and grew closer to me because he appreciated my honesty and trusted me even more. He knows that if Allah could forgive me, that theres no way he couldn't That is when I knew I had a Real Man. Al Hamd lilah. I pray the same for you isA.
Dear Bro & Sister,
Asalamu alaikum,
Our sister commited a sin and she is asking for forgiveness, i go through more post, kindly every one should know that islam is simple way to follow dont make it difficult...
i hear a hadith from our imam...that one who keep the secrect of others, it mean some one commit mistake and they feel guilty and ask forgiveness from allah this issue know by other and if he keeps & hidde with out publishing. allah will be keep his things from the unwanted issues. ( i will provide the evidance of the haddith)
So please sister never tell to anyone & be careful from the guy, insha allah we all pray for you and your sin will be forgive by allah, ameen.
dear sister , allah is oft forgiving and oft merciful .
dear sister , therz no need to reveal the mistakes to ur future husband .coz he can absolutely do nothng to help you . Its you who have to help your self sis . Repent ! And never ever repeat the mistake ,allah loves the ones who repent and never repeats the mistake . According to the basic human psychology . Every human has a tendency to search for the secrets . Even you may have so ...to knw mr abt the person you are gona marry ! Its quiet natural ! Bt let me say . Do not surrender ! Mistakes are mistakes ! Past is past ! And niether you or your future husband can make a change in it . So even he comes to knw abt ths frm anyone , you must nt reveal it in detail .don make him into great confusion and stress coz even hez a human being and shaitaan is always around us to wisper thngs to create confusions in mind...so don reveal your secrets .love him wid your heart ,and love is somethng that we get when we give ....anyway we don have anyright to suicide ,till the last breath we must live sister ...we are the soldiers of this life . Fight till the end ...have patience ,learn to forget and forgive even your future husbands mistakes ,if he has ...& Its true that ,its all up to allah ,only he knws how long the marital life stays . Dua works a lot . When you don find a way out .read surah-al-yaseen . The heart of the quran created by allah subhanua tha'la 6000 years before creating the mankind . quran is your best friend whom you can rely on . Take quran to your heart ,and not even the hot air of hell will touch you .inshah allah ! Allah is there ! When hez there ... NO FEAR NO WORRY ! allah is oft forgiving and oft merciful !never loose the hope !
marry a man who has good imaan ,coz even he getz angry wid you ! He may not hurt you coz he fears ALLAH !
Sister in question,
Please don't reveal your past to anyone. Keep to yourself forever.
A potential husband is COMPLETE stranger to you and he has no right to ask you if you were in premartial relationship before. The only right he has over your past is to 'mention' that he wishes to marry to someone who never been relationship before. That's all is his right. He has no right to ask you about your past but he has the to outline his preference. If you don'nt meet his prefernence then kindly turn down his proposal. You do not need to give him the reason behind your decision.
And please don't ever feel obliged to tell a potential about your past just because you fear 'what if' he finds out after marriage from someone elseeee. Shaytan is putting those kind of insecure thoughts to you so you reveal your past! Please don't disclose your past to anyone. Your past is between you and Allah (swt) alone. Therefore, deal with it, with Allah (swt) alone.
InshaAllah, once you get married, please don't reveal your past to your husband. Yes, husband has many rights just like wife do too but neither of them has the right to know about each others sinful past. It is sin to discuss past sins.
Please do not ever utter a word of your past sins to anyone!
May Allah (swt) make it easy for you.
Take care.
Your sister,
Parveen
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