Should I consider this as a result of my Istikhaarah
Dreams and Istikhaarah
Assalam alaikum,
More than a year ago in college, I liked someone, but we never came so close to pursuing any kind of relationship. When I realized I had feelings for him, I began to pray Istikhara every day, and although I did not get any dream with regard to him, the circumstances of our interaction began to change in a way that I realized he was not right for me.
But twice, as I had continued my Istikhara for that person in my college, I dreamt of another who had been an acquaintance of mine earlier. Once the dream was so vivid that it actually startled me. I dreamt of him (the acquaintance) holding a baby ( i think, girl) in his arms and looking at me. Though I was startled by the dream, because it was unexpected, I knew with some odd certainty that the child in the dream was my own.
Although I did not have any feelings for the acquaintance at the time of the istikhara, in the coming months over some coincidental meetings, my heart started becoming more drawn to him. Then I went for umrah and prayed to God to give me some clear signs with regard to him, because I did not want to be hurt for the second time.
Since I have come back from umrah, I have found him growing more and more distant from me. And funnily, my heart is becoming more drawn to him, whilst he himself has been unresponsive. Perhaps indifferent, or too busy, I don't know.
I am only confused because of the dream i saw felt like such a true vision. Is this is a trial, should I follow the indication of the dream or the reality?
Please help or interpet.
~ paradise
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Wa'alaykumsalam,
Interesting,
Actually we shouldn't go on with life based on dreams. In some cases dreams have deep meaning and can be true but then we shouldn't consider everything as such because dreams can come from satan too.
There are 3 kinds of dreams in Islam:
-The truthful dream ( which comes from Allah as glad tidings or warning against evil )
-The dream stemming from personal desire (coming from one's thoughts about worldly matters)
-The dream coming from the devil (bad dreams which causes distress, sorrows etc)
Regarding your dream, it can be interpreted in many ways.
From Allah,
1) Glad tidings- It can mean that he's going to be your future husband.
2) Warning- It can also mean that illegal relationship can lead to illegitimate child.
From rambling of mind,
By seeing him in college daily, by thinking about another man, by daily activities etc all these can be replayed in the dreams. Subconscious mind in other word.
It can mean that, he is just a stranger with a child passing by you.
Or in other words, your dream has no meaning at all.
From satan,
To create false desire in your heart.
As you've mentioned that your heart has drawn towards him but he has been unresponsive, thus causing you sadness and hurt feelings.
"Satan makes them promises, and creates in them false desires; but satan's promises are nothing but deception.(4:120)
Your best course of action would be to follow the reality. If you like someone, then inform your family, let them investigate him and if perfect fit, marry him. That person must also be made aware. If either man are in denial, then its best to stop thinking about them.
I believe you shouldn't pray isthikhara when its only you who wish to marry and other party is unaware. Because, sometimes we get confused dreams or signs or feelings etc about the matter either positive or negative. If positive and that person says ' no way ', then it'll lead to broken heart once again.
Finally, there is no place for girlfriend or boyfriend in Islam. Pre-marital relationship is forbidden. You're aware of this ofcourse. I'm just making sure.
"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appearthereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands.." (24:31)
Prophet asked Iblees: "By what did you defeat the son of Adam?” He said, "At the time of anger and at the time of desire".
Assalamualaikum,
Brother Ali, I would not agree that she does not have to do Istikhaarah when the other party is not aware. Perhaps it is better to put it in these words:
Do Istikhaarah, trust in Allah and move ahead with His Name (meaning do not sit idle, but act). Istikhaarah is something one should do, before doing anything.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum,
Sister, we are too low in knowledge to interpret dreams. When you are confused about a dream, it is better to let it be and move forward with a choice. And when you have made a choice, trust Allah. He Says in aal Imran, Aayah 159:
ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِين
And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].
After you take the decision, do not say "if I had taken that decision, it would have been better" because according to a Hadith, "if" opens the door to Shaitaan.
The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said, Seek the help of Allah and do not succumb to feebleness. And when an affliction strikes you, say, "Allah has decreed this, and He does as He wills.'' Do not say, "Had I done this or that, this or that would have happened, because "if'' opens the door wide for the work of Ash-Shaytan.'' (Muslim)
Trust in Allah, do the Istikharah again and inform your parents about the person you like. If it works well, that will be the result of your Istikhaarah, in sha Allah, otherwise, there is something better for you than that.
Trust in Allah, that is the key.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor