She doesn’t Know She is the Second Wife
Say a husband cheats on his wife, then marries someone that's not Muslim through the public court house.
Then he decides that he wants to keep both wives and he is not working or even helping the first wife (the one that is Muslim):
What should the first wife do?
Because he has not told the second wife that he wants to keep both.
What should the first wife do?
Thanks
- Mrshakurway24
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i suggest you divorce him. the husband should be takin care of you financially and emotionally, if he doesnt then islam permits you in seekin divorce.
peace....
Mrshakurway24,
I would advise the first wife to talk to her husband; try to connect with him and find out what the root problem is. Was he always like this, i.e disloyal, cheating, lazy unsupportive etc, or has something happened that could have influenced the weakening of his eemaan? If it is the latter, then maybe there is a chance that the marriage could survive with some help and determination.
The first wife needs to bring everything to the surface without feeling anxious of the outcome. Be confident in her manner of speech and know that she a right to question her husband as much as she wants to until she feels satisfied she has enough to information to decide her next course of action.
- If the husband shows no remorse for cheating on his wife, this shows the weakness of his eemaan and his lack of respect and love for his first wife and for Allah's commands.
- Do research into the Islamic legality surrounding court marriages, but as far as my knowlegde goes, this does not count as nikah. Further if the second wife is not of the Book, then a Muslim man cannot marry her. If it transpires that the husband is living in sin with this woman and is happy to continue in this, this again reinforces that he gives little importance to his relationship with Allah.
- If he feels no guilt at not supporting his first wife financially and morally as a good husband should, this again shows the weakness of his eemaan.
- If he wants to continue lying to his second wife about the first, the there is dishonesty from the outset, this will multipy into more lying and deeper issues.
If this man shows no remorse for his bad actions nor shows any signs of improving, then I can imagine it would be very difficult to live a happy life with him; as he has no respect for his wife and has broken her trust. If he does better his character, then the question arises about the second woman - is she his wife or not and does the first wife 'want' to be in a polygamous marriage.
Although Allah dislikes divorce, HE(swt) has made it permissible once all options have been exhausted. Allah is not harsh and has set laws in place for our well-being.
I can understand it would be very difficult for the first wife to want to make any attempts with such a man if she does not have any positive feelings left towards him. Although the wife knows the full situation and I would advise that she try to be strong and take the right steps before considering divorce. It would also be better for her to speak to a qualified Imam to whom she can disclose the full facts.
The sister should remember to keep seeking help from Allah through both obligatory and voluntary acts of worship. She needs to also be reminded that this is a test from Allah. May Allah make this difficult time easy for her - Aameen.
"O Allah, make my love for You the most beloved thing to me, and my fear for You the most fearful thing to me, and remove from me all worldly needs and wants by instilling a passion for meeting You, and when You have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You!" Ameen
SisterZ
I strongly believe that that guy is lazy bum and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) prevented a woman to marry a lazy bum. I would strongly suggest you make two rakat seeking prayer and divorce that coward. You should not waste your time with a playboy.
Fight for your rights! Men have no right walking over women like a door mat.,