Want to get out of my depressed condition
Depressed.
assalamu alaikum!
i am 23 yr gal jus complted my education and joined in a job.
to cut short evry story. i am a practicing muslim and a hijabi ALHUMDULILAH but i deviated from the rite path when i had a relation wid a boy who himslf is islamic.
but due to his medical issues he ended the relationshp all of sudden. although i didnt knew at that time that it was a haraam relationshp i had a difrnt impression but now coz i knw the rite thing i feel happier that things have ended.
i alwaz pray and ask for forgvness. i cry almost each day for my mistakes. but still the problm persists the boy calls me , text me and we r still in contact. this is making me guilty day by day and i feel that something is dying inside me daily. i dnt knw to how stop it.
when he tlks abt him not able to marry me bcz of medicl issues i feel pity oer him and so i become weak to say no to him for any further contacts.
other then that these things r affecting my family life. i am geting depressed as i am not able to share it wid anyone.
i just wanna make my present as beautiful as it was before. i was simple and pure. i dnt even feel pure although i didnt had any sort of physicl contact wid him but stil i alwz thot myslf only for my husband and thi is making me so sad. i feel like a worthless creature.
on the top if that my family alwz thinks me to be a very nice gal when they will get to knew this my brothers wnt evn trust me.i have broken thr trust . i want to take that person out of my head and also out of my life. want to lead a pious life as before.
need some help!!!
trapped
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Dear sister, As-salamu alaykum,
Don't be so hard on yourself. As you said you did not have any physical contact with the boy, so Alhamdulillah you avoided that sin. Don't burden yourself with feelings of worthlessness. In Islam we have the gift of tawbah, so make tawbah to Allah for carrying on this secret relationship, and then move on with your life.
Break all your contact with this boy right away. Let him know very clearly and firmly that it's over. He is the one who ended the relationship, so why on earth should he be texting you and calling you? Change your phone number and your email address and do not have any further contact with him. And there is no need to tell your family about any of this. Just leave it behind you and move on.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I read a nice quote on some website:
“Don’t bring baggage from an ex-relationship into your next relationship…unless you want it to be a short trip.”
Of course by "next" I mean a Halaal one.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
"Nice Dictum "
Jazak Allah Khair for your advices. i have now changed my number. inshallah things would be better soon.
🙂
I HAV GONE THRU SEVERE DEPRESSION SO I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS.
suffering from one incurable condition ,and being of a marriageable age i couldnt help but feel lonely and teary wen i see people around me of my age. my dad is getting me married to someone in few more months...i agreed to it since i could no longer go throu the pain of being lonely.however deep inside i always feel that i could have got some one better(financially,family wise, looks wise and education wise.)but only because of my health i am sure no one ll marry me.and this guy agreed to after knowing all this,thats one reason i am trying to convince myself.still the pain i have in my heart is just unbearable i hope Allah will reward me for this inshaallah.
siter farya il definetly pray for you. Inshallah things wil be better for you. i know how it is important to have that sukoon in one's life and InshAllah you will attain that soon. InshAllah you will be happy in your life ahead and your future husband will prove it good for you.
Ameen
🙂
dont worry farya inshaallah things will get better .keep praying to Allah .and inshaallah this man will turn out to be better than other better ones who u feel r better in education status etc. i hope u have a great life ahead and u get out of depression soon inshaallah. il pray for u 🙂 and i dont knw if im right in suggesting this to trapped ..but i think before changing ur number or cutting all contacts u should through a small straight forward msg atleast let the person knw that u guys cant talk anymore(dont listen to him if he trys to stop u from cutting all contacts ) .i dont tnk it is fair on his part to b left widout a word .he might aswell understand and try to move on .. and u should add to that sentence that u would always wish best for him so that he doesnt feel inferior or complexed because of his health.i believe we should hurt anyone by leaving without even informing ..this is my personal view im sure others here may know better.
shouldnot* sorry typing error
JazakAllah Khair for your advices. 🙂
Sister Soha, i had many told him that we should not talk any further as this is haraam and further it add no meaning now moreover it wont let us get out of that feeling. i even wrote a letter explaining him the point that instead of leading each other towards hell we should just end all sorts of conversations but he always insisted on remaining in contact although not talking every other day but once in week and all. to my logic it does'nt seem ok because now i dnt want to go back to those feelings and all moreover its Wrong. i dnt know then how else to make him explain. i have tried all things.
thinking again and again about all these things now make me even doubt his health issues becoz he said he cant marry me coz of his health issues but his mother is planning to get him fixed to a gal with whom he had a previous relation. all in all i get over confused and irritated becoz some1 ditching you is more hurting and devastating then this.
to avoid all these thots i have cut off contacts in d sense i have changed my number, blocked him on social networking sites and mails etc. coz i just want him out of my mind and move ahead in life.
Trapped ,
I think he was telling you lie to form some Haram relation ship without a commitment of the marriage .It is good that you are stopping all contacts with him ..Please don't start communicating again to him .
Thanks,
if you've already told him that u wouldnt want to continue talking to him anymore then i guess its okay because he would know y u changed ur number i mean it wouldnt put him under shock as i tot it might... ur doing da right thing stay strong and dont think about him at all .now that ur on the right path it doesnt matter if hes marrying anyone or if hes actually not sick or whatever.trust me whatever happened actually happened for ur own good .ishaallah u'l forget him soon and get a better man as ur husband 🙂 dont worry
🙂 InshALLAH.. Duas 🙂
jazakAllah Khair