I want to marry a Hindu convert to Islam but my parents will not allow it
Assalamu-alaikum
I belong to a Muslim family and I am 24 yrs old. My parents are looking for a guy to get me married. I have a friend whom I've known since my college days which is for around 4 years. He is a non Muslim. I had been telling him about Islam all these years and trying to convince him to convert because even though he was a Hindu he never followed that religion. Also we always loved each other.
Now he's ready to convert to Islam and has expressed his love to me and his wish to marry me. I have told my parents about this whole thing & that even I would like to marry that guy, but my parents reacted in a very bad way. They did not agree to even meet him once.
The guy is ready to do anything my parents ask him to do and we both want to get married to each other and of course he has agreed to convert first. Am I doing something wrong? How do I convince my parents? I stay very tensed because of this. We both love each other truly!
Please help us and guide us and tell us what we can do to convince my parents?
- safamhanif
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ASSALAM ALIAKUM,
SISTER IT HARD TO BELIEVE NON MUSLIM BELIEVE IT IS ONLY THE ATTRACTION FOR WHICH HE IS WILLING TO DO AS ALLAH KNOWS THE BEST BUT SISTER , IT IS MENTION IN QURAN STRICTLY NOT MARRY NON MUSLIM , FOR THE SAKE OF ISLAM YOU MUST OBEY YOUR PARENTS AND SISTER YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHOM YOU LOVE MOST ALLAH SUBHANATALLAH OR THAT NON MUSLIM
My husband is a convert to Islam. How can you say that a person cannot believe in Islam because they were raised as something else? That is pure ignorance. My husband prays 5 times a day, fasts and even reads the Koran in the original Arabic. Your ignorance is amazing and stop giving bad advice!
Islam allows Muslim women to marry non-Muslims as long as they convert to Islam, first. You do what is best for you. If your parents don't allow it, then still go ahead with it because it is your life, your choice and Islam allows Muslims to marry of their own choice. You do what makes you happy. If you love each other, then what have you got to lose. I say you go for it. Do it? He's converted so then marry him, make up with your parents later because they can't be angry with you forever, now can they.
Here is a link, which will help you to make your decision. Read it and then act upon it!
http://www.pakmarriages.com/id19.html
I hope you choose the right decision because I know this is something I would do. x
Dear 'Safamhanif',
You want to marry a Hindu man who will convert to Islam because he loves you. If this is what you told your parents, I can completely understand why they reacted badly. Why would they be happy to meet a man you want to marry who is not even Muslim? Do you understand what a complex and nonsensical situation you have presented to them?
Sister, a person is only a Muslim if he truly believes in the Message of Islam; but from what you have said I am not convinced that this man is willing to revert for the right reasons. If he verbally recites the Shahaadah, this does not make him Muslim unless he believes what he is saying wholeheartedly.
This man will only be a halaal option for marriage to you, if he truly accepts Islam. If he truly wants to accept Islam, he will not wait for your parents to agree to you marrying him. Instead, he will revert as soon as possible and start practising the deen. Only then will you know if he is truly Muslim or not.
My humble advice to you is, fear Allah and do sincere tawbah. Tell this man that you can only 'consider' marrying him if he is a true Muslim. If he is sincere in what he claims, he will revert and he will start practising. After some time, when you can see that he is steadfast in deen, then and only then can you be in any position to take this to your parents.
***
Sister, deciding who we marry is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. This is because we are going to hopefully spend the rest of our lives with this person and this person will influence us greatly. A Muslim woman should be dreaming and hoping to marry a man who will help her attain Jannah in the Hereafter, right?
Sister, think over what I have said and remember that attaining Allah's pleasure and ultimately seeking a place in Jannah should be our goal.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
What to do if he is a true believer.?
Assalamualikum Safa M Hanif:
I think everyone knows this famous hadeeth:
Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab:
I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."
This is the very first hadith of Saheeh Bukhari and its importance simply cannot be over-emphasized.
Islam means submission. The one who agrees to submit to Allah, must do so willfully. He or she should do so because of being convicted that Islam is indeed the truth, the only religion that Allah accepts, and the only means to attain salvation and achieve eternal bliss.
If someone submits to Allah by choice and for true and honest reasons, there will be dramatic changes observed in his or her character in short period of time. He or she will feel remorse for the past sins, will hasten towards worship and will commit themselves in acquiring Islamic knowledge. On the other hand, if someone accepts Islam for worldly reasons, there will occur no change in his/her heart, and consequently, his/her lifestyle will not change either.
According to your description, your boyfriend is now ready to do anything your parents will say. What is his motive? His motive is he wants to get you. Plain and simple. If he now accepts Islam, how much weight can you assign to his faith as he is ready to go through the whole process mainly to attain a worldly goal?
Let me remind you this: anything done for worldly gain is very fickle. Suppose someone gives a killer 1 lac rupee to kill a person named X. Now just before he kills person X, if the killer is offered one billion rupees to kill the person who actually sent the killer to kill X, what is the guarantee that the killer will not change his mind?
The situation you are in at the moment is like this: your boyfriend is ready to do everything to get married with you at the moment. After he gets you, there is no guarantee that his mind will not change. For a mind to remain steadfast and committed on something, be it marriage, honesty in business or any other commitment, it first of all has to have the fear of Allah properly instilled in it, and it should have unquestionable respect for Muhammad (May Allah's greeting and peace be upon him), the Messenger of Allah. And your boyfriend has neither of them. So be careful and think again.
Also the relationship you have enjoyed with this boy is unlawful as per the Islamic Sharia. Before you do anything, you should first sincerely repent to Allah, the most merciful.
I know very well that sub-continental parents may be over-protective and sometimes not very sympathetic towards their child's cause. That being said, it is also true now a days, that the trend of showing disrespect and disobedience towards parents has spread alarmingly among us, the young folks (I am not including you here. I am talking about in general, so please do not be offended). Because of this trend, whenever parents say even something good, we cannot accept it. In you situation for example, I am sure that you now enormously driven by your emotions. Shaytan will love this and take this opportunity and will whisper in your heart to ifnish the marriage ASAP. I would say, cool your head, think, and do not fall in the trap.
If you want a direct answer from me, I will be honest and say, "DO NOT MARRY THIS BOY".
You believe in Allah, don't you? Then remember that if Allah does not intend peace and love for your married life, there is no strength in this world that can bring love, peace and tranquility in you married life. Peace and love can come only if Allah wills and He blesses us with. According to my judgment, pleasing to the eyes of Allah will be obeying your parents, cutting off relationship with this boy, and resorting in Allah only. He is the most powerful and He is indeed capable of replacing with you a better husband, who would be far more righteous, loving, caring and who would be a husband of you not is this world, but also in the hereafter.
May Allah make things easy for you and may He guide you correctly.
Assalamu Alaikum,
I completely agree to SISTERZ.Its not allowed in Islam to marry a nonmuslim guy unless he joins islam in all means.Its not at all easy to live with a nonmuslim guy, the rest of the period. Now, Alhamdulillah, u got ur parents to discuss the things. In future if a situation comes ,when he loses faith n islam and no body with u to discuss the things even, u will be no where. So do not marry him unless he joins Islam and practices it openly before marriage.This is a right period to rethink and go back to Islam for u as it is the month of Wholly Ramdan .Guys will tell lot of things to convince u that they can do whatever for u .but when a real practical situation comes they will forget all those things without even a glimpse of guilty for the sake of themselves. So please,please do nt go against ur parents. I am one of the sufferer of the same situation but n my case he had reverted to islam and was practising it as far as he can before marriage so that I could convince my parents,even then he changed thereafter because o f certain personal reasons .Now I am no where with my kids,struggling to live, broken mentally,But Alhamdulillah my parents support me .Do not take unnecessary responsibilities thinking that u can bring him to Islam this way, its quiet risky ......U vl be responsible for spoiling ur own life. I hope my situation will not happen to u. Do not spoil the baeutiful life waiting for u , with a halaal person.
Salaams,
A man is the head of his family and that is why a woman cannot marry a non-Muslim. If he wants to be a Muslim, there should be no stopping him. He should do this for Allah's sake alone and with sincerity and conviction. He would need to be fully committed to this, not just to secure your hand in marriage.
Men and women can never just be friends and it leads to complications like this. You are also misguided by love, which can simply be a fleeting emotion that can easily dissipate. True love should only develop and grow within the confines of a halaal marriage. You only get to really know a person when you live together and share a life.
You ought to respect your parents wishes as they are correct in their response to all this.
If you are really keen and this guy really does love you and above all wants to be Muslim for the right reasons, then allow some time, where he makes the commitment to becoming a Muslim first. If he is prepared to prove himself, then that would help your case. Marriage should never be rushed as you may spend a lifetime to regretting it.
Regards
Hopeful
dear
I am in love with hindu girl from last 12 year i never cheated her and love her more than my life money etc.... She betrayed me in 2008 i forgive her she got an relation and she ready to marry him without my knowledge but it was not happen due to some dowry well again in 2010 jan she got engaged without my knowledge and after that some mess happen she broke her engagement her parents promise she will get marry with me now i realize her parents lie with me i am very fed up now adays i dont know what to do my opinion dont trust hindu
fedup, I'm sorry that you had a bad experience, but it's not correct to say, "don't trust Hindus." It just happens that the girl you were involved with was not trustworthy. But if you read this website you will see that many Muslims have had spouses who cheated or betrayed them as well. It is a matter of individual character.
In any case, a Muslim is not allowed to have an intimate relationship outside of marriage, and not allowed to marry a Hindu. So before you start condemning Hindus, you need to look at your own behavior. You have not followed the guidelines that Allah has given us in Islam. Maybe you can learn something from this experience and find guidance in the Quran in the future.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
dear bro,
CONVERTING NON-MUSLIM TO MUSLIM BY GETTING MARRIED IS NOT A ISLAM because u marry her/him just cause of love not for ISLAM, Islam means DEDICATION OF ALL HIS WILLS AND WISHES TO ALLAH.SWT AND OBEY ONLY ALLAH.SWT AND HIS APOSTLE GUIDANCE, WHICH IS THE ONLY SUCCESS IN LIFE, First try to Understand what ISLAM and then do it accordingly. Since ALLAH.SWT will only ask u what u did for HIM and His Prophet(pbuh). ok
wael asalamvalekum !
That girl is trust worthy she still love me and want to convert in islam and marry me she is still in my touch talking like friends not girl friend . Now changes has come i never want to marry until she get married but she is not agree to marry with anyone at all. But what i realize her parents is not reliable they never thing about her marriage and dont want to do they want their life goes peaceful now situation is that i have left all thing on allah and pray for better for both of us. Beacause i cant move on and leave her alone. So that in end people will blame muslims nor allah knows better what will happen
well wael i cant write more as i am using mobile phone well if posible give me your email id i will tell u my whole story and want your advise personelly ....
Thanks
Fedup
aslamu alikum all , alas its not the first case or last one in India ,I am from arab gulf and now in India for 3 years almost,I realized that such thing is happening daily with Muslims girls,its really so sad to hear such thing when a muslim girl marry a Hindu guy and here I am not disrespect Hindu men ,its just our faith ,system of life,if we don't follow the Qur'an nor Hadiths what Islam is it? it really hurts when girls forsake their parents for stupid marriage ,and most of these cases built in college or school days,so their families are responsible too ,subhan Allah they seek for love from humans ,and love for God forgoted ,a lot of seductions in now days life,but who fears God won't go that far away.Muhammed saaw said(obtain who she has faith,whose grew up your hand
سلام
Assalam alaikum wr wb
I m totally agree wid FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH
The problem is our life style is different. we r not following islam properly.
Just be very careful and cautious.
I know of one girl who married also a hindu convert to islam. The marriage ended up as a disaster. His "conversion" pretty much turned out to be a convenient means for him to marry the girl. With time (a couple of years) he proved that he wasn't at all serious about practicing the religion. What's worse, the father went back to hinduism and became adament and insistent that their son be raised a hindu. Now, the couple is divorced....
My personal advice:
If you really can't fathom marrying any of the guys your parents are showing you, you need to find out if this guy is sincere about becoming a practicing muslim. Let him convert and see for a while (i.e. 6 months to a one year) if he is actually serious about islam. See if actually takes an interest in the faith by reading the quran, performs the prayers, and befriends muslim friends while leaving his previous habits behind.
Wow! I couldn't even get through the responses! FIRST The guy doesn't have to prove anything to anyone but himself regarding his choice in religion. It is truly a personal decision and a private one. Okay I feel a little better at least stating that.
I think some people missed the part when she said he waited years first and choose on his own to be a Muslim. Then she says the things he does to be a Muslim. Which have nothing to do with her and her parents. As far as her parents let's face it they either are or are not going to be open to her relationship with him.
Another point I wonder if she has other friends who are men who she is not interesrted in. I for one have many male friends. They are just that FRIENDS! They have relationships with their women(mostly married couples) and I have my own relationship. Women and men can have true friendships without ever changing it to something more. Usually I hear people say men and women can not have a real friendship from people who have NEVER had one. So how would they even know?
Okay if you and your guy are willing to do anything then I suggest that when they bring suitors to you you turn them down if that is the right decision for you. If he truly is (or wants to be) Muslim then let him continue in his endeaver. I told another person in similiar situation this: Tell your parents his values. Is he stable in his work and can financially take care of a wife. Is he kind, generous, pious, father material, responsible, capable, and anything else you know him to be. Let them know about him. If they wont meet him then tell them about him. If this is what you want then keep asking them to at the very least meet him. Be respectful and loving no matter what the answer is.
I wish you the most good luck with your life.
My Dear, I don't know how educated you are and how much brain you use which GOD has given to you. In-fact all people who are saying he is not Muslim so leave him etc. All these blind people are seeing the BODY and I hope you felt his SOUL. AS SOULS if you love each other go ahead and get married regardless of Religion and tell everybody that Hinduism is not a RELIGION. AS GOD LOVES LOVE, AND WHEN YOU LOVE A SOUL YOU LOVE GOD coz SOUL IS PART OF GOD as SUN RAYS are part of SUN.
GOD created him, GOD never created any RELIGION, Have you seen GOD saying I love this RELIGION or that RELIGION. IF you are a good human being, you will get GOD'S BLESSINGS. Religion n all will not help you in this life and afterlife but your DEEDS(KARMA) will. All people have forgotten that they are humans Muslims also have 2 eyes 2 hands, same blood and even Hindus, Christians etc. GOD never discriminated nor can he ever do that. If u understand this simple thing you will be far happier person.
Angel:
Allah has given free will to every human being. You have the free will either to submit to the will of Allah and accept the prophethood of His Honorable Messenger, or to invent whatever wishful thinking that helps your lead a life as your desire commands and yet think that salvation is possible with wishful thinking. However, someone cannot indulge in wishful thinking and at the same time label himself or herself as a Muslim. This world is a place of live and let live, so I do not mind what X, Y or Z does or think. However, the website is clearly named Islamic Advice , and the sister has come here for Islamic advice. When we say Islamic Advice, it is meant that the advice is given based on the guidance of Quran and the tradition of the Messenger of Allah.
Remember Angel, Islam, the truth, has come from the Lord of this universe, whereas the wishful like your above post comes from your own whims and whisper of the devil. If you have problem with Islamic Advice, better open your own website and name it "Advice from wishful thinking".
Dearest Angel,
It is true, our souls come from GOD....
But if don't guide our soul to what is right and wrong, which is revealed by GOD....One Soul would oppress, wrong and hurt many other Souls, while we think we are doing good....
That said I am not accepting the fact that anyone who claims to be Muslim, is completely correct.
* Indeed the Most Merciful GOD, has said anyone who oppresses, even it be a "so-called" Muslim upon a "Non-Muslim", GOD would listen to the prayer of Non-Muslim rather than "so-called" Muslim.
Being a Muslim is a state, a state in which one adheres to the rules of the Almighty as much as he can, so he renders himself harmless to all other souls around him in the universe.
So the rules like covering yourself up (no makeup, tight clothes and definitely no short skirts!), do not marry from religions like Hinduism which normally do not agree to follow laws laid down by GOD etc. may seem harsh. But in the end some section of people have to take the bitter medicine. So that all other souls are benefited.
Not only that if we don't follow GOD'S will, GOD will punish us. You may say GOD will not, but look at earthquakes, flood and other disasters, GOD can punish us at any time. So in order to rectify our karma, we need to follow what GOD wants. Because mankind have left GOD and His guidance, and in ignorance, he hurts GOD as well as the fellow souls.
My sister in humanity, may Allah guide you before it is too late.....
Hmmm... Why are you interested in Hindu Muslim marriage by the way?!
I really wouldn't be the best person to answer this question because well, I'm Mexican.
I just have one thing to tell you, if you really love this man and he loves you, you shouldn't
care what your parents say. Marry him anyway. I know in my culture we are not forced to
get married with anyone we don't want to be with. My mother always told me, You can get
married to whoever you want, any race, any color, any language but as long as he appreciates,
respects and loves you I'm happy. I don't know how your religion works or whatever but that's just
my point of view. We are all human beings, we have the right to love and be loved. Don't let this
one chance pass by, you might never find a man like this again. Good luck! 🙂
i think u should just listen to ur heart i am only 12 and i am a muslim and trust me being a muslim is having peace in your life and ur troubles go away and guide u to the right path and i am not only saying that cause i am a muslim but cause its true so just ask a very good friend or just try to settle it with ur family i hope this was helpful peace be upon you and all i have to say is mashallah
good luck
salam 🙂
i didn't know Islam teaches one to convert a non Islamist and marry him. If you bloody cant marry a Hindu why the hell do you fall in love with a Hindu
Hello,
You are half right & half wrong.
I agree that the reason to convert to Islam is for submission to Allah, not only to win a woman. To convert only for a woman, and not practice the religion in your heart but only for social appearance, then you are not really using the religion to praise Allah but rather for a woman.
However, if the man converts to Islam for Allah, but his conversion happens AFTER he falls in love with a Muslim woman, but in his heart he has a relationship with Allah first and his wife 2nd, then he is really practicing with as much holiness & dedication in his heart as all other Muslims.
Perhaps Allah can reach hearts through falling in love. Perhaps this man has genuinely had a change of heart & is now a Muslim before Husband. Only Allah knows. Bless him if he is genuine & may your parents find acceptance once they learn that this man is genuine.
Advice to the woman: Show your parents he is truly Muslim. They are suspicious, and rightly so, b/c they don't know him like you do. But once they know his heart is pure & praises Allah truly they will come around.
Although you might be the reason he STARTED to think about Islam, it sounds like now the reason he prays 5x a day is for the sake of his own relationship he has begun with Allah. This is true faith & a sign of a good man.
You can lead a man to Allah but you can't make him truly pray through his heart!! Only Allah can!!