My life has been wasted, I wish I could undo what has been done
The Door of Allah's Forgiveness is Still Open!
Assalamu alaikum
I found this website and thought that i can find a way to overcome my guilt. I want to find a way to free my soul from the wrong things I have done.
I repent, I pray...but i can feel it..its like there is this distance between ALLAH and me. I know the things I have done Cant be forgiven. Or ALLAH might some day but me...how do i forget...
When i was young, my very own neighbor used to touch me. It felt weird but as i was not open with my mom, so i didnt discuss it with her. I could have told them to stop but didnt...which is what i hate about myself. I knew something was happening which shouldn't have..but i gave in for the feeling i guess. But i did one day. i went straight up and said to stop...
This was when i was in 2nd or 3rd. I cant even see them...the images come back in my mind
I kind of felt that my masturbation habit was coz of them. But i have overcome it.
Also, i let my cousin touch me...and i was wholly-conscious...I hate myself...dat guy must be repenting also..i dont know!
But now, whenever i pray or do something religious...bad thougts come up...its like shaitan has spoilt my brain and not heart...I love ALLAH i wanna live life according to what He said...But dont know if its me or my shaitan..very sinful assumptions come up in my mind regarding
I know myself...i dont deserve but to be forgiven...but i love ALLAH...n HE might forgive me someday based on my good actions but...
i just wish i could even pay someone to beat me 100 lashes as they say
i am such a low-life
~ 2stranger
10 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Nabeel, please do not post suggestions that people hurt themselves. Many people who use this site and ask for help are very emotionally vulnerable and need support so that they do not hurt themselves.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor.
Brother Nabeel Durany;
i think ..... is that your answer ,,,,, There are a lot of secrets in between man and ALLAH & Allah is the best in keeping secrets ,,, if you want to punish give punishment to our Environment within we do such sins. Give punishment to our parents who are legally responsible raising us & THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT THEY WILL BE ASKED THIS QUESTION. Give punishment to Muslim scholars because its there duty to lead us to preach us and to guide us SO SUCH SINS WONT HAPPENED.
If children's are brought up without care or preaching of Islam such sins will be existed & spoil our Emaan.
There is no punishment for that person ,,, 100 lashes are for those who committed crime & only current government have that right to give punishment
Dear Stranger;
Your guilt is enough for your punishment ,,,, dont take that path EVER again save your self from shaitaan. One day you will be father too TEACH YOUR CHILDREN'S THE TRUE PATH SO THAT THEY DONT MISLEAD ...
AND NEVER SAY THAT YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN ,,,, DO YOU KNOW FOR WHOM YOU ARE TAKING ABOUT ,,,, HE IS MOST MERCIFUL OF ALL ,,,,,, HE WILL FORGIVE YOU DONT LOOSE HOPE IN HIM HE LOVES YOU AND US ,,, AND WE ARE PROUD TO BE MUSLIM
MAY ALLAH BLESSED US ALL AND FORGIVES US ALL AND GIVE US HADAYAH ...
OMAIR KHALID
Nabeel, what kind of response is that?....very unhelpful. We should all try to advise empathetically.
To the original poster. Allah can forgive all our sins if we repent from our hearts. Repent and be remorseful. Return to the true path. Live your life acc to the tenets and limits of islam then you will not have such experiences.
Wassalam.
Salaam,
When traumatic experiences happen, they can leave lasting effects in how we see the world and how our behaviour patterns develop. This is especially true when such things happen to us at a young age.
Your neighbour had no right to touch you, and it is understandable that this abhorrent episode has left its mark in other areas of your life. Psychologically, it is common for children who have endured such things to develop a preoccupation with masturbation as part of their process of coming to terms with what has happened and the maelstrom of emotions and sensations involved.
It sounds that you would benefit from help and support with these burdens. There is no shame in asking for help. I would advise you to speak with your doctor or find a local support service for people who have experienced childhood sexual trauma.
Pray to Allah for strength and read Quran to sustain your spiritual strength. We are taught that if we repent in our heart and our actions, even if our sins were piled up to the height of a mountain, if we are genuine we will be forgiven. There is no need to physically punish yourself.
Pray, ask Allah's love and forgiveness, and take positive steps to improve your mental wellbeing and your daily life. Remember the first two names of Allah both mean gracious and merciful.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Nabeel, I can't believe that you teach in a University. How could you say such a thing?
I am deleting your comment because it is useless, rather hurting.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Does he? I thought he was 14 years old. Really.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Get over this Nabeel dude everyone and let's advise this lady who is in need of our advice!
salam
iam sorry for wht has happened to you
what has happened to you in ur child is bcoz of neighbours who molested u
n thats wrong wht they did cribbing it will make u now n then restless plz forget it
n move forward in life Allah i all forgiving coz he gives 70000 mothers love n he vill surely forgive u for ur mistakes plz dnt feel guilty for what they did for u in ur childhood its nt ur mistake coz u were very small u int knw whts gud n bad
May Allah show us all right path
Assalamu'alaikum 2stranger,
You said you let the cousin touch you and you were aware. That is a sin, but not the Zina that requires 100 lashes as punishment. For your case, the following Hadith will apply, in sha Allah:
“A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I found a woman in a garden and I did everything with her (kissing and fondling) except that (intercourse), so do with me as you will.’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not say anything, and the man went away. ‘Umar said: ‘Allah covered his sin. He should have covered it himself.’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) followed the man with his gaze and said: ‘Bring him back to me.’ So they brought him back, and (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) recited to him: ‘And perform al-salaah (prayer) at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder for the mindful (those who accept advice)’ [Hood 11:114 – interpretation of the meaning].” According to the report narrated by ‘Umar, Mu’aadh said: “O Messenger of Allah, is this just for him or does it apply to all the people?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No, it applies to all the people.” (Reported by Muslim)
Alhamdulillah, you have been keeping away from masturbation. Yes, they may have been the reason for it, but you are responsible for your sins. So, do Tawbah and Hope from Allah that He Will Forgive you, not just because of your good deeds, but His Mercy.
Keep your hope alive and learn the Deen from authentic sources (such as ashabulhadith.com for people who know Urdu and understand-islam.net for English speakers) in order to know Allah, His Messenger, His Deen and meet Allah while He Is Pleased with you.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Good answer brother, right on point.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor