Husband abandoned me and I lost my baby
Assalamwalekum,
I was married in the year 2007. My husband started to avoid me from the first day, later i realized that he had just married me to show the society, as the family was black listed, he had a sister who was married twice and took khula twice.
He and his family tried all possible ways to chase me away without any blame on them and entire blame on me. For last 2yrs he would stay away from both mentally and physically, i literally pleaded but he did not change. I left my job and joined him thinking that my prayers can change him, he behaved even more worst, he started to harass me mentally.
I came back to my mothers place, I subsequently realized that i was pregnant. I put a word to him, he was very upset he did not speak to me for about a month and finally posted a talak nama. He did not give any reasons to leave. Still I called him, he told the jamat about my conversations and insulted me by issuing a warning letter. With the shock i lost my 4 months pregnancy, I lost my livelihood, I lost my child, I lost my hope.
And above all people told that they had married with the intention of living me at the earliest. Everthing was planted and executed in a way that i am the culprit. The shock of my life is receiving a surprise talak nama when i was pregnant.
How do I deal with this pain. I am not able to forget the past, which shattered my life.
- kneeshat
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Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu ya ukhti,
Subhana Rabbi Al-adeem!!!!
I advice you my beloved sister in islam to be patient and stronger. This world is only a test from Allah (swt) and we are only living here for a very short period of time.
I empathy your feelings but you must understand that we will all be and are constantly tested in various ways by Allah (swt) in this world. In Surat Muhammad (47: 31) Allah (swt) says: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere...”
You need to have sabr, sabr in enduring this test/ hardship from Allah(swt) bear it my sister and don’t complain for this might be good for you but you do not know...Thank Allah that you received your talak because you don’t deserve to live with a person who does not love you and does not fear Allah, imagine having to forcefully live with him while he continues to treat you the way he does how would you feel then...and losing your baby (May Allah make you stronger to bear this test) suddenly i feel that my mere words won’t be able to ease your overwhelming emotions but don’t forget That Allah (swt) is Great and He loves His slaves...maybe it is for the good that you lost your baby instead of it growing in a family where the marriage started off “with the intention of living me at the earliest”
Be patient and make dua to Allah in every prayer May Allah make things easy for you.
Fi aman Allah
Walaikumisalam Sister Kneeshat,
I am sorry to hear this. Everything that is taken from you in this life, you will receive reward for in the next Insha'Allah (SWT).
Did this man's family know you well? Did you pray salatul istikara? If he did not come from a great family, or a family who a history like you stated, then what was the purpose of marriage?
You have no need for someone who has no concern for you. Justice will be served in this life or the next, and what you can do now is struggle, get back your job, and focus on *you*. You should surround yourself with family and those who can comfort you. Keep yourself busy, and most importantly make sure you visit the doctor as miscarriages can lead to infections. Insha'Allah kheir. This is not going to be an overnight transformation, and I can assure you.. from his family history, this talak is not going to hush the community up.