Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Confused and doubting…need help!!!


Salam, please don't judge me for this post. I grew up in a religious family who taught me how to pray and read Arabic, but they never taught me WHY I should believe in Allah and connect to Him. So I undertook the journey myself and started doing research on Islam (I'm 13). There was a period where I was very peaceful and believed in Allah completely, but over the course of my research (often online) I saw lots of anti-muslim stuff. Most of it was nonsense and I recognized it as such, but some of it really got to me. Like in the Quran in 4:142 Allah says He deceived the hypocrites, and in other verses He says He is the best of deceivers. I am confused because I was taught that Allah NEVER lies or deceives anyone, even hypocrites. If Allah is morally perfect, then He cannot lie to ANYONE, even if they deserve it. At least this is what I was taught. I'm losing my faith now, afraid that Allah somehow enjoys lying to people. I hate this and I realize that Shaytan is haunting me, and I was to break away from this and restore my faith. Please don't judge, I don't want to offend anyone, but does Allah really lie, and can anyone explain 4:142 and related verses?

Allah built the universe just to distinguish truth from falsehood so falsehood "breaks its head", as He stated in the  Quran. Then why does He deceive?


Also any ideas on how to get my faith back? It's interfering with my life and I reallly want to believe fully again.



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7 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Alaikum, Hello!
    This a very serious concern for many people.
    This confuses many, but the simple truth is that being deceptive is not always wrong or bad. Sometimes in can save your life. Or teach valuable lessons. And Allah(swt) is incomprehensible to us. We are incapable of knowing everything about Allah. And our faith is always being tested.
    I have been muslim for only a short amount of time, my parents are Christian, and I spend years learning about all kinds of religions and "gods" many people seek to spread lies and claim Islam is wrong and Evil. But the truth is and the Holy Quran tells us that Allah knows what is in our hearts and does not wish us harm. Love and peace. Truth. We are tested and deceived by many things so Allah can see who truly loves and has faith in him.

  2. Salaam,

    I don't want to keep you waiting. I'll email someone, and he's knowledgeable about Islam. I'll ask him, and reply about what he says.

    You have to study the Quran more, and there are really awesome things about the Quran. Like it's mathematical composition, and it's scientific miracles. Really awesome info about Quran, Islam, and it's message in these two links.

    Take care, and pray to God to guide you to the true path.


    • You are posting links to the website of a deviant organization called the Submitters, founded by the apostate Rashad Khalifa, who reject the sunnah entirely. Are you a member of this organization? If not then it's irresponsible of you to promote their materials.

      I'm guessing that the Quranic translations you posted were from Khalifa's translation (which he arrogantly referred to as "the only translation authorized by God), because the translations are completely wrong.

      Wael Editor

  3. My sister salam Question.Can doctor become a doctor through computer at home on his own???Noooo. First of all surely a lonely sheep is easier for a wolf to devour....You must have teacher who is a scholor you can not interpret the quran on your own its dangerous .There is also the tafsir that translates the ayats ...Also all this social media you tube etc....are dangerous because pious men and women know it is a easy way to confuse the mass .Sure there is some benefit but it is a dangerous tool.Also the translations are important who wrote were did this author come from.I have seen qurans print with era's so watch out..Sister Allah is pure the light of all lights the holy the wise the compassionate the merciful the giver of life the giver of death..Remember a virgin like you is avery important to shaitan.Because if you are corrupted your off spring will be corrupted!!!!!Advice get connected with sisters at local mosque learn and build your Iman.Keep away from all evils that is a test you must overcome ......I know when your young theres somany temptations.I am revert married to a scholor and i get tested everyday but thats why we must find balance and be consistent in our for more questions because only the learned can lead the blind.

  4. Assalamualaikom sister

    Welcome sister Mary among your brothers and sisters.
    I can see you are truly confused sister.. and you are very right ... its your eternal enemy Shaytan haunting you, confusing you, and trying to rob you of your faith if he can. May Allah take this confusion away form you and strengthen your IMAAN.

    Coming here and asking, sister, is indeed the right thing to do, among your brothers and sisters you will find all the support, guidance and help you need, and as long as you establish prayers and be in the company of your fellow believers, shytann starts loosing, and you start winning.

    In the Hadith it is narated that the prophet (SAW) said "If three people do not make the Adhan (call to Prayer) and establish the Prayer among themselves, Satan gains mastery over them." .... and in another Hadith " cling to the Jama'ah (group / congregation), for indeed the wolf eats a lonely sheep only"

    To answer your questions .... if Allah (Glorified and Exalted He from all that is not befitting to Him ) can lie... ???
    Well the short answer is NO ...
    it is impossible for God to lie. There is no place in Noble Quran or the sayings of the prophet (SAW), where laying is attributed to God. To Him belongs all the attributes of perfections.

    The source of your confusion is actually mentioned in your writings above .....Where you said " my research (often online) I saw lots of anti-muslim stuff ".. you wanted to know about Islam from the bias, unjust open enemies of Islam... What would you call that , a research ??? How could you fall for that... The analogy of that is like a non-muslim who want to know about Islam from the FOX NEWS and CNN and the bias, unjust media, who intentionally and systematically lie day & night to slander Islam and muslims, and present a bad twisted image of religion and its followers. You have clearly started your research from the wrong end sister, and its a very dangerous and unjust thing to do indeed, first and for most to yourself, and to your Creator and to your faith. I am in no way trying to judge you, but i felt i needed to make things clear, as its the most direct way to combat confusion.

    So protect yourself, and your faith against this trained army of Shaytaan, as they are professional deceivers and lairs, and you don't have the knowledge or the experience to combat them, and refute their lies. So best is to stay away from those sites, and look for the Islamic knowledge from the authentic books and Islamic website and the scholars and imams in your community.

    Back to your Qutations
    1 - the first part ... " 4:142 Allah says He deceived the hypocrites "
    When Almighty Allah (SW) says, He deceived the hypocrites, it is not what you think by deception. Here it means Allah allow them some time until they think they are the smarter and that their plans are working perfectly, and that nobody knows about them, and then punishment take them by surprise. In another place it is mentioned that Allah makes the evil plots of the disbelievers work eventually against them, so they are destroyed by their own plots

    2 - the 2nd part ... "He is the best of deceivers"
    There is no where in the Quraan it says "He is the best of deceivers" ..and if it was mistranslated, Alhamdulillah we have the original Quraan to refer back to.. and since not every word has the exact equivalent word/meaning among languages, it is recommended to read more than one translation, where you will be able to see little differences between the translations which will give you more insight of what it is the word in the Original language means. It is a universal truth that no translation is 100 like the original, as translations are human effort to approximate of the meaning to the best possible degree.

    I think what you might be referring to by "He is the best of deceivers" might be 8:30 " Allah is the best of schemers." الله خير الماكرين" " .and the same meaning was repeated in few more places in the Noble Quraan.. so its schemers NOT deceivers and there is a huge difference between the two...
    The actual word in Arabic is Makara مكر which means to scheme( to plot and plan so hideously, perfectly and intelligently that the enemy will not feel any thing until its too late). So the hypocrites who think they are smart and continuously plot against Allah and his messenger and the believers are indeed the losers as there is no Planner like Allah.How can they hide from Allah, the All Knowing, who knows their secret plots and wicked hidden plans.

    So to break away from this confusion and restore your faith, you need to :
    - Seek right knowledge from authentic sources.
    - Keeps your relationship with Allah strong by prayers, duaa and Zikir (read Ayatulkursi after Fajr and Maghrib prayers everyday, it deters shaytaan, ... i.e .. do not make him comfortable around you )
    - Cleanliness is half of faith, so keep clean as much as you can (Wadua as much as you can and Ghusul on time always )
    - Be in the company of your muslim community and avoid being lonely, which gives shytaan a leverage to attack you.
    - Abandon these anti-islam websites once and for all.

    May Allah guide you and strengthen your faith.

  5. Verses shouldn't be focused on individually , otherwise the reader focuses on the words themselves and is deviated from understanding the actual message. The verses are referring to how Allah never helps the liars and hypocrites and will never give them victory over the believers.

    "Indeed, the hypocrites [think to] deceive Allah , but He is deceiving them. And when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily, showing [themselves to] the people and not remembering Allah except a little"

    Where it says: "And when they stand for prayer, they stand lazily, showing [themselves to] the people and not remembering Allah except a little"

    Is tied in to the first part, because their only trying to exhibit as if they were really praying and worshipping Allah, when they are really are not so they think they are tricking Allah while they are only tricking themselves out of being obedient muslims. When its said that Allah is deceiving them it means that he does not guide the liars and hypocrites who pretend to have morals and be religious. This is also confirmed in the very next verse which states"

    "Wavering between them, [belonging] neither to the believers nor to the disbelievers. And whoever Allah leaves astray - never will you find for him a way"

    Another thing you should be aware of is that many words in Arabic cannot be translated directly in to English , so its easy to misinterpret.

    -Deception also isn't always a bad thing , of course the anti Muslim websites you have been on make it seem that way because they just want to make you question things they themselves don't understand so you will loose faith. There are certain times where deception/lies can be ethically a positive thing. For example: If a heart patient comes to a doctor and asks the doctor are they going to be ok , the doctor can say yes to help the patient keep going and not loose hope and commit suicide even though in reality the patient may not have much longer to live.

    -The point being is that Allah wants to protect and help the believers against the hypocrites and just because there is a human concept that looks down upon lying doesn't mean its true in all scenarios.

  6. Asak, this ayat talks about hypocrites, they were with muslims and kafirs both.
    So if muslim win they will say we are with you and if kaafir win they will say we are the one who helped you.
    They were thinking that they are deceiving allah and his messenger, but in reality they are being deceived by Allah because they are the loosers and they will not have any thing in the akhirat, and also they were exposed.
    They are being deceived by Allah because of their deed in which they are thinking that they are deceiving Allah.

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