Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Divorced by husband I love

Assalamualaikum.

Kindly allow me to ask a question and inshaalah I hope to get a full answer from you.

My husband divorced me a month ago. He didn't say talaq, nor wrote it or anything, but he made the official divorce papers without my presence even. None of us betrayed each other.

I wasn’t the perfect wife as of my bad character, but I love him a lot. Now we live for 1 month in different countries as he is Egyptian and I'm Russian. He doesn't talk to me and doesn't even read my messages. His family tried to talk to him but he says “I decided so, it's my life and my solution”. But it's my life as well. He isn’t talking to me at all. I still can’t understand the reason.

Just one day he wrote a message in WhatsApp that he wants a divorce and that’s it. I’m confused and in pain a lot. I love him and want to be with him. I’m ready to listen and do anything. Ready to change and truly understand my bad sides of character and will be able to correct that.

He don't even try to listen or communicate. He separated with me in a bad manner. His or mine family didn't help in this issue. And he said to all his friends and workers that he divorced me. I don't understand anything.

I can't get married again as it's disgusting for me. My husband was the first and only man I know. He left me and I can't handle this. Allah hates divorces, so why my religious man did this? I still have a hope and praying to Allah for being together again as waiting period still didn't finish.

Help me please, what should I do, how can I influence my husband in a letter? I am sure you can give me an answer based on Quran, so I will be able to talk to him.Thank you.

P.S.i never betrayed and he as well. I was just sad all the time and upset that he don't pay attention to me and comes late from work, we never spent time together. He said in that text message in WhatsApp that he felt he don't have love to me anymore. We are married for 5 years.

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3 Responses »

  1. No one can tell you why your husband wants to divorce you...he may or may not have a valid reason for it, but in the end of the day, does it really matter why he wants a divorce? The important question here is: Where is your self respect? Why are you behaving in such a desperate manner for a man that shits on you? Have some self respect, woman! And get the idea out of your head that it's somehow wrong or disgusting to be with another man. This mentality seems to contribute to your desperation, and it's an illogical mentality to have. Yeah, it sucks that the only man you have ever been with doesn't want you, but that's no reason to focus so much of your energy to figure out how you can force him to be with you against his wishes.

    Just go along with the divorce and, when you are ready, you can marry a better man. Someone who actually loves and appreciates you, unlike your husband. Don't you think you deserve that?

    • I agree with Lindita. This is exactly what I was going to advise- I could not have said it better.

      Do not waste your time and energy on this person who clearly does not value or want you.
      You may be grieving now, but down the line- you may meet someone a lot better - who genuinely loves you and wants to be a part of your life.
      Trust Allah and focus on making your bond strong with Allah.
      Once you turn to the Creator, you will feel so much peace and solace. Your problems will be sorted.
      Do dua and turn to Allah, He is the Best of Planners!

      I hope your broken heart heals.
      I hope that Allah puts love in your heart for someone deserving and also in your heart for him.

      All the best x

  2. Pls sister make an istihara it is the only solution of your case.

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