Is Civil Marriage Mandatory in U.S.?
As Salaam Aleikum,
I am an older woman. I was divorced a long time ago and I am disabled. I am on social benefits and live in a kind of public housing.
My neighbor across the hall is a very good man. He is not Muslim. He has told me he loves me, but he has not done anything to try and have a physical contact. He is actually very easily embarrassed by anything off-color. He has no vices. He doesn't drink alcohol or smoke. He doesn't gamble. He knows that if things are to go further he needs to convert.
I think he would be willing to convert, and that it would not just be for me. Here is the problem, if we got a civil marriage, both our benefits would be cut, and we could not live here any more. In fact one couple among our neighbors divorced so they could move here!
As long as he takes Shahada sincerely, and we have the correct number of witnesses and a proper contract, is it absolutely necessary to have in addition to nikah, a civil marriage?
I only want to fulfill God's law and for us to be happy. Thank you very much ! May God reward you!
Nura.
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Nura, As-salamu alaykum,
There's no requirement from an Islamic perspective that you get married civilly, nor is it required under American law. If you perform a proper Islamic nikah, you will be married from an Islamic viewpoint.
However, I have some concerns:
1. I question the wisdom of being involved with a non-Muslim man and hoping he will convert to marry you. Is your current relationship with him within the bounds of Islamic behavior? (no need to answer, it's a question for you to ask yourself honestly). What if he declines to convert, what will you do then? You will have developed an emotional attachment to someone who is not halal for you, and built hopes and dreams on a foundation that does not exist. Furthermore, we often get questions here from women who marry someone who converted to marry them, then the man does not practice Islam properly and is not truly faithful. Do you want to end up in that position?
2. A second and separate issue is that without a civil marriage, your marriage will not be recognized by U.S. law. This can have some negative repercussions. For example, if one of you becomes seriously ill, the other will not be recognized as a spouse by the hospital and cannot make decisions for his/her care. You cannot file a joint tax return, and cannot inherit from each other.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams,
An Islamic marriage is valid on its own merit, whether a couple gets an additional civil marriage or not. I live in the US, and my husband and I had an Islamic nikah first and that's when we consider ourselves married. We chose to get a civil marriage as well, because we have children together and for tax purposes.
I am familiar with what you are saying about benefits ending if you remarry someone "legally. If I were in your shoes I would just have an islamically valid nikah and keep it at that. However, please, please make sure that he converts otherwise the issue is moot. If he would convert, there is nothing to stop him from going ahead and doing it now--marriage notwithstanding.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor