Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is it possible that someone has bad dreams after Istekhara but that thing is good for him/her?

Posted by • April 13, 2015 • Printer-friendly
English Translation of the Dua for Istikhaarah

Dua for Istikhaarah

Assalamwalaikum, I did Istekhara about a guy I want to marry and I am having a lot of different bad dreams. Some of the dreams are we are both around some dead bodies and blood, his father is saying no for our marriage, he is talking to other girls. Only one of the dream wasn't bad which was he is at my house with my mom and relatives. His behavior towards me has changed after Istekhara. He doesn't know that I have performed Istekhara about us.  He doesn't show much interest in me anymore.

I still  feel that he is the right one and things will change in a good way InshAllah. But sometimes when I think about it logically I start having negative thoughts that what if I am wrong. What if its just my emotions that are misguiding me ? I am very confused and lost between my faith and my logics. Another thing is that I used to pray Tahajjud prayer regularly ,Hazat prayer  and some other Duas for  marriage After that he came into my life. This is the most important reason why I still feel that I will get married to him because of my faith in Allah and my prayers. And I am still hoping things will get better in the future InshaAllah.

sami22


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10 Responses »

  1. NE
    April 14, 2015 • 4:13 am

    There is a theory that dreams are actually the feelings and concerns of our subconscious minds. In sleep, our brain processes our thoughts and feelings from the day and throws up images that reflect those. I'm telling you this because if you're asking about istikharah and dreams, istikharah doesn't necessarily result in dreams. But what you're saying is that since you've done the istikharah, this guy has begun to lose interest in you and you are having a lot of doubts about this relationship. You say that logically you feel that things are not going well and he will not regain his interest in you. It seems to me, therefore, that you recognize that the relationship is deteriorating but you're holding on to a blind faith that somehow this will all work out.

    In short, if you're not sure about the istikharah results in your dreams, you should take a hard look at the results of the istikharah in your real life. May Allah grant you a virtuous and loving husband inshallah, regardless of what happens in this relationship.

    Reply
  2. lorelei lee
    April 14, 2015 • 9:28 am

    istikhara doesn't necessarily result in dreams but can result in dreams as well
    you see there are chances cannot be, can be
    dear sister I guess that person is not right for you to marry as your dreams interpret that life from this marriage will bring tensions and troubles.
    also his behavior has now changed what else you want to know
    he is not showing any interest what is the guarantee that he will give you attention after marriage
    would it not hurt you?

    Reply
  3. lorelei lee
    April 14, 2015 • 9:31 am

    @NE so what about the dream of Hazrat Yousaf, he was thinking about it all the time?
    the dream of Hazrat Ibrahim was from his daily activities
    I reject this theory

    Reply
    • Precious Star
      April 14, 2015 • 9:53 pm

      Lorelei Lee, these were prophets of Islam. They were chosen to receive messages from Allah. We are not the same. Allah SWT does not give us psychic messages via dreams - He only did that with the holy Prophets. I think NE is absolutely right in her advice, that usually when we are thinking about something, then that subject shows up in our dreams. Nothing more, nothing less. The OP is much better off looking at what is happening in "real life" as an answer to her istikhara.

      Reply
      • Sr. K
        April 15, 2015 • 2:36 pm

        @Precious Star and NE

        I am totally agree with your advise. " Allah SWT does not give us psychic messages via dreams - He only did that with the holy Prophets. "

        This is a serious problem for nowadays muslim (especially the Indian-Pakistanian) whom regard performing istikhara as a psychic act.

        Reply
  4. Lorelei Lee
    April 15, 2015 • 8:56 am

    well I don't agree with you at all. mostly my dreams come true and I strongly believe in dreams. the dream of Prophet Yousaf was not a message, it was clear that he would have high status among all.
    ok lets assume this you are 100 % true but what about the dream of the king at that time who saw cows, what about the dream of the prisoners about whisky and crows?
    I hope they were not Prophets .

    Reply
    • Precious Star
      April 15, 2015 • 3:38 pm

      No but the events surrounding the life of Yusuf and his family served a purpose for the rest of mankind. There is a reason why they are in the Quran. Your dreams and my dreams are not examples for mankind - they are ordinary.

      Reply
    • Saba
      April 15, 2015 • 4:33 pm

      I understand what you are saying Sr. Lorelei Lee. I think what you are referring to is below from
      http://islamqa.info/en/6537.

      Dreams may have meaning and they may not. Dreams are not to be discounted completely but nor should they used as 100% guidance either.

      There are three types of dreams as outlined in the information below. I benefitted from reading it and hope the same for others inn shaa Allah.

      Praise be to Allaah.

      True dreams are a part of Prophethood, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “True dreams are one of the forty-six parts of Prophethood.” (al-Bukhaari, 6472; Muslim, 4201)

      Dreams marked the onset of Revelation (al-Bukhaari, 3; Muslim, 231).

      The truthfulness of the dream is related to the sincerity of the dreamer. Those who have the most truthful dreams are those who are the most truthful in speech. (Muslim, 4200)

      Towards the end of time, hardly any dreams will be untrue. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “That will be because the Prophethood and its effects will be so far away in time, so the believers will be given some compensation in the form of dreams which will bring them some good news or will help them to be patient and steadfast in their faith.” (al-Bukhaari, 6499; Muslim, 4200)

      The same may be said of the miracles which appeared after the time of the Sahaabah. This did not happen during their time because they did not need them, due to their strong faith, but the people who came after them needed them (the miracles) because their faith was weak.

      Dreams are of three types: rahmaani (those that come from Allaah), nafsaani (psychological, they come from within a person) and shaytaani (those that come from the Shaytaan). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Dreams are of three types: a dream from Allaah, a dream which causes distress and which comes from the Shaytaan, and a dream which comes from what a person thinks about when he is awake, and he sees it when he is asleep.” (al-Bukhaari, 6499; Muslim, 4200)

      The dreams of the Prophets are wahy (revelation) for they are protected from the Shaytaan. The Ummah is agreed upon this. This is why Ibraaheem set out to fulfil the command of Allaah to sacrifice his son Ismaa’eel when he saw that in a dream; may peace be upon them both.

      The dreams of people other than the Prophets are to be examined in the light of the clear Wahy [i.e., the Qur’aan and Sunnah]. If they are in accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah, all well and good; otherwise, they should not be acted upon. This is a very serious matter indeed, for many of the innovators among the Sufis and others have gone astray because of this.

      Whoever wants to have true dreams should strive to speak honestly, eat halaal food, adhere to the commandments of sharee’ah, avoid that which Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have forbidden, sleep in a state of complete purity facing the Qiblah, and remember Allaah until he feels his eyelids drooping. If he does all this, then his dreams can hardly be untrue.

      The most truthful of dreams are those that are seen at the time of suhoor [just before dawn], for this is the time when Allaah descends and when mercy and forgiveness are close. It is also the time when the devils are quiet, unlike the time of darkness just after sunset, when the devils and devilish souls spread out.

      (See Madaarij al-Saalikeen, 1/50-52)

      Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said:

      All dreams are either of two types:

      true dreams. These are the dreams of the Prophets and of the righteous people who follow them. They may also happen to other people, but this is very rare, such as the dream of the kaafir king which was interpreted for him by Yoosuf (peace be upon him). True dreams are those which come true in real life as they were seen in the dream.

      Mixed up false dreams, which warn of something. These are of different types:

      games of the Shaytaan to make a person distressed, such as when he sees his head cut off and he is following it, or he sees himself falling into a crisis and cannot find anyone to save him from it, and so on.

      When he sees some of the angels telling him to do something forbidden, or other things that cannot possibly make sense.

      When he sees something that happens to him in real life, or he wishes it would happen, and he sees it very realistically in his dream; or he see what usually happens to him when he is awake or what reflects his mood. These dreams usually speak of the future or the present, rarely of the past.

      See: Fath al-Baari, 12/352-354

      Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he likes, this is from Allaah, so let him praise Allaah for it and talk about it to others. If he sees other than that, a dream that he dislikes, this is from the Shaytaan, so let him seek refuge with Allaah from its evil and not mention it to anyone, for it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6584, and Muslim, 5862).

      Abu Qutaadah said: the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Good dreams come from Allaah, and (bad) dreams come from Shaytaan. Whoever sees something that he dislikes, let him spit to his left three times and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan, for it will not harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6594, and Muslim, 5862). The “spitting” referred to here is a soft, dry spitting with no saliva ejected.

      It was reported from Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you sees a dream that he dislikes, let him spit to his left three times, and seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan three times, and turn over from the side on which he was sleeping.” (Narrated by Muslim, 5864)

      Ibn Hajar said: to sum up what has been said about good dreams, we may say three things:

      A person should praise Allaah for the good dream

      He should feel happy about it

      He should talk about it to those whom he loves but not to those whom he dislikes.

      To sum up what has been said about bad dreams, we may say four things:

      He should seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of the dream

      He should seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of the Shaytaan

      He should spit to his left three times when he wakes up

      He should not mention it to anyone at all.

      In al-Bukhaari, Baab al-Qayd fi’l-Manaam, a fifth thing was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, which is to pray. The wording of the report is: whoever sees something he dislikes (in a dream) should not tell anyone about it; rather he should get up and pray. This was reported as a Mawsool report by Imaam Muslim in his Saheeh.

      Muslim added a sixth thing, which is to turn over from the side on which one was lying.

      In conclusion, there are six things to do, the four mentioned above, plus praying two rak’ahs, for example, and turning over from the side on which one was lying to lie on one’s back, for example.

      See Fath al-Baari, 12/370.

      According to a hadeeth narrated from Abu Razeen by al-Tirmidhi, he should not tell anybody about it except a very close friend who loves him very much, or who is very wise. According to another report, he should not talk about it except to one who is wise or one who is dear to him. According to another report, he should not tell of his dream except to a scholar or one who will give sincere advice. Al-Qaadi Abu Bakr ibn al-‘Arabi said: as for the scholar, he will interpret it in a good way for him as much as he can, and the one who will give him sincere advice will teach him something that will be of benefit to him and will help him to do that. The one who is wise is the one who knows how to interpret it and will tell him only that which will help him, otherwise he will keep quiet. The one who is dear, if he knows something good he will say it, and if he does not know or he is in doubt, he will keep quiet.

      See Fath al-Baari, 12/369

      Imaam al-Baghawi said:

      Know that the interpretation of dreams falls into various categories. Dreams may be interpreted in the light of the Qur’aan or in the light of the Sunnah, or by means of the proverbs that are current among people, or by names and metaphors, or in terms of opposites. (Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/220)

      He gave examples of this, such as:

      Interpretation in the light of the Qur’aan: such as a rope meaning a covenant, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah…” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:103]

      Interpretation in the light of the Sunnah: such as the crow representing an immoral man (faasiq), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called it such.

      Interpretation by means of proverbs: such a digging a hole meaning a plot, because people say “Whoever digs a hole will fall in it.”

      Interpretation by means of names: such as seeing a man called Raashid meaning wisdom.

      Interpretation by means of opposites: such as fear meaning safety, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “And He will surely give them in exchange a safe security after their fear” [al-Noor 24:55]

      As for the book “Interpretation of Dreams” that is attributed to Ibn Seereen, many researchers doubt that it can be attributed to him at all, so we should be certain that this book was written by this prominent scholar.

      Reply
    • NE
      April 16, 2015 • 3:03 am

      Everyone has made great points regarding this topic. I personally am of the opinion that most dreams are reflections of our subconscious minds and have no deeper meaning or spiritual significance. Some dreams may really be messages from God, but we have no way of confirming this. Even modern Islamic dream interpretation can be very problematic. However, none of this is necessarily relevant to the poster's question, since I think we all agree that her problem is not her dreams but her reality. It seems clear from what she's written that since the istikharah her relationship with this man is deteriorating and is unlikely to improve. Even if she was having wonderful dreams of lavish weddings and a life of bliss, in her real life she is not happy with how things are going. This, to my mind, is the real result of her istikharah and what she should focus on. In general I think we should encourage people to examine the conditions of their real life after making istikharah, instead of waiting for dreams that they may not be able to interpret correctly.

      Reply
  5. lorelei lee
    April 16, 2015 • 8:13 am

    thank you saba for your answer.
    I am focusing on the meanings of dreams, yes it is, I don't know if it happens with you or not but I hv always been told in dreams about my enemies and in real they really become my enemies,
    may be you don't want to trust me or think that I m lying but Alhamdulillah my frequent dreams have been true.
    I am not saying that I m Prophet that was the other thing I am talking about in general.

    in my opinion as a Muslim you must believe in dreams
    I have seen dream about the name of Prophet Muhammad but I think that was not part of my subconscious mind but ok.
    thanks

    Reply

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