IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

well im troubled and depressed and Ive been looking for answers and solutions  except i dont know who to ask and who not to ask since every ones got a different answer and solution. I've known this guy for 4 years and we've been together ever since, we've had problems related to his family his mother had an issue with me since I was an outsider and not part of the family, hes a syed shiah and I belong to a syed sunni family. There were issues like that but we moved past a of them, before any obstacles came in the way I wasn't very religious nor spirtiual to the extent that I am now. I started feeling very close to God and I've never been the kind of person who gets attached towards a lot of people, I've got a very few people in my life I care about and for that matter love. I don't even consider having best friends or anything as I believe only Allah is my best friend. I've been a loner from the beginning and have always liked solitude and quietness.

Anyway we have had so many obstacles in the way and ALLAH helped me out, time and time again and his mother started to accept me and then his dad also got to know and he told her to meet me and my family. His mother was all ready to meet my family and me and that I was happy everything was so nice and we didnt even know until the guys dad got an istikhara done. It's called quranic istikhara he got it done from someone and we didnt even know about it. It came out bad.
I dont even know what to do I'm so depressed I have so many questions in my head and so many things I dont know if I should do or not

Let me begin with my first question: this is my understanding that istikhara is done when ur not sure about something like you've just begun to talk to someone we've known each other for 4 years I wasnt even prepared for this! but hey we didnt do it? neither did I nor did the guy do it, he wasnt even aware. Even hes so sad and depressed about what they did without us knowing.

Secondly i believe a person should do it himself! Not a third person doing it for somone else, like we pray and ask ALLAH for whatever that we want, similarly my heart says that a person should be in direct contact with him and talk to him directly even for an answer.

Thirdly what I want to know is if from one side the istikhara is bad and the other side it is good? what does that mean does it mean its neutral?

Also another question suppose if the istikhara is bad is there any solution for that? for betterment of two peoples futures?

let me also repeat that i didnt do any istikhara neither did the guy. it was his family who got it done from someone some imam i guess.

now im left with no choice but to do it myself in order to know the truth and in order to make things better so we can get married in the future. im not prepared for it at all since im not a wali im an ordinary human being with feelings. and i dont expect God is cruel if we met there was a reason for it and if after all the obstacles we;v been through we stil made it and things became so much better for us and we were happy that has to mean something this is the third time something has gone wrong i mean if it had to end why didnt it some years ago. i just done feel it in my heart .

please help answer my questions and pray for me iam confused i need clarity and i need to feel better as my healt is deteriorating cz of so much tension and depression and confusion . everyone has got a different explanation theres not one person whos answer has satisfied me yet.

-Nobody