Getting married but living apart and I want to change my name
Can my partner and I get married but not live together straight away?
I see this as a compromise between my non-Muslim Mother and my future partner's Muslim parents.
When I marry my Muslim partner, what do I do about my name? Am I supposed to keep my fathers name?
I have been reading up about it and I am still a bit confused! I do not want to keep my fathers name as he left us when I was young and have never liked carrying his name. I want to take my partners name when we marry but I am not sure if that is what I am supposed to do.
Loveandlight
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first of all, I would like to say that i respect that fact that you are trying to find a compromise solution to please ur mother cuz she seemed to sacrifice alot for ur u due to ur father. it is too important to be good and it seems like ur mother is supporting in ur decision.
With regards to changing to ur name, I remember listening to a lecture by Hamza Yusuf about adoption. he mentioned in this lecture that one of the reasons u cant adopt becuz u can change a person lineage so u can give a child that is ur child ur name. I would assume that the same principle would apply to changing ur name to take ur partner's name. That said, Hamza Yusufis also a convert who changed his name but I am not sure if he changed it formally ie passport etc or professionally ie when he gives lectures.
However, a name is a name. It does not measure the level of iman you have or who u r or say anything about ur father or his role. You seemed like u have lived ur life well with ur father name for all ur life so i would not place too much importance on it cuz who is u r is more important than ur name and so far who u have been has been good despite the name u had.
As salamu alaykum, Loveandlight,
I am really sorry for not being of much help, but what I know about living separate after marriage, sometimes is even normal is the marriage is done between people from two different countries, until they have all the legal documents settle to move from one country to the other one.
Related to changing your names you shoul ask a qualified person to guide you through this issue.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaykum,
You may take your partners surname as your surname if you like. Names are are for knowing each other.
As far as your first name goes, it should be a name with a good meaning, so Insha Allah, if Allah wills you may get the qualities in your name within yourself.
Names do hold a value and special attenion in the Qur'an:
7. (It was said unto him): O Zachariah! Lo! We bring thee tidings of a son whose name is Yahya; We have given the same name to none before (him). - Surah Maryam.
6. And when Jesus son of Mary said: O Children of Israel! Lo! I am the messenger of Allah unto you, confirming that which was (revealed) before me in the Torah, and bringing good tidings of a messenger who cometh after me, whose name is Ahmad (the Praised One). - Surah As Saff.
So surname you may choose of your husband, there is no problem. As for name you should name yourself / future kids Insha Allah with meaningful names.
You may consult local authorities for procedures to do name change and accordingly in your passport, bank a/c, etc and other places they would advise you with the procedures involved, Insha Allah.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Salaam.
* * *
A woman is not required to change he name (first or last) but if you want to you can. After that go to the social security office/DMV etc to get your name changed on other documents. Good Luck!
P.S. take you marriage certifcate with you. the legal one not the religious one.