Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What is the status of our nikah? Do we need to use halala?


Separation and Halaalah

As salamo alaykum dear sir

i marry one girl who is younger then me and its my 2nd marriage but i hide this marriage from my family. after that i do nikah with her and send her abroad for further studies. after some time she involved with some person and ask me to marry with him if i left her, i gave one talak to her .., after some days she again argue and not behaving well then i gave her 2nd and third talak ..! This 1/2/3 talak perioud is near by 7 to 10 days maximum..! I mean after my one talak in 10 days i use 2nd and 3rd talak..!

After that she realised and came back to me ...! Within a 20 dayas of talak given..! And till today she is staying with me and live with me ..! We intercourse B4 complite her iddah ...! And till today we are living like husband and wife ...! My counfusion is this that is my nikah countineu after 1..2...3 talak given by me and we intercourse b4 iddah..! Or we did haram ? Or i have to re marry her ? Is it permissable to re marry her directly with fresh nikah with fresh mahar..! Or we use halala ? ( means she have to marry some other person and when that person give her talak and she complet her iddah then only i can marry her ? If we did haram what is the kaffara ..! Plz send me d full answer of my Qus ...!


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9 Responses »

  1. Brother , Assalaam o Alikum Wr Wb ,

    Hope you are reading this with full consent and at present mind. Don't atleast make fun of Islam, I am pretty much sure when there is some other issues in your worldly life you go ahead and ask the people thousand times.

    Ok, coming back to your issue,. As per its seeing as it looks like the way you are explaining talaq is done. But, also Iam not sure please ask this with proper imam or mufti or Authentic scholar.

    I mean, how dare you just taking this topic so lightly , why you didn't ask at first when you have gave all three talaq.

    Atleast for now , don't do intercourse or don't go near to your wife , just ask mufti first, explain him your situation .

    And as far Halala means your wife has to marry another guy , and that guy should intimate with her sexually, have intercourse with her thats the condition and then after wards if he wants then he can divorced her. Now, here you cannot force him to give her talaq..
    It sounds funny, you cannot force his wife to give her talaq.



  2. Assalaamualaikum

    Your situation seems really complicated. I think you should speak with a scholar, to ensure that whatever course of action you take is halal.

    Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter. Please note that I am not a scholar. If I am incorrect, I pray that someone will correct me inshaAllah and that Allah will forgive me...

    1) Divorce should never be taken lightly. It is the halal thing most disliked by Allah.

    2) A divorce can be revocable or irrevocable.

    3) A revocable divorce is when a man says a clear pronouncement of divorce (eg. a single talaq) - in this case, the couple can reconcile within the iddah period without the need for a new nikah. If the iddah period is completed without reconciliation, the couple can reconcile in the future but will need a new nikah.

    4)An irrevocable divorce - talaq-e-ba'in - occurs in a number of situations, but in the context of a man divorcing his wife, it occurs when he says he gives her talaq-e-ba'in (specifically stating that the divorce is irrevocable) or if the language he uses is unclear (eg. "I'm done with you") - in this case, if the couple choose to reconcile, they will need a new nikah.

    5) If talaq has been given on 3 separate occasions, then the man and woman are no longer permitted to reconcile, unless the woman has, of her own choice, married another man, consummated that marriage, and that relationship has come to an end. In this case, a new nikah would be needed in order for them to be married.

    6) The practice of halala is not in accordance with Islamic values. Essentially, what is happening there, is that a woman is put in a situation where she has to marry, sleep with and then get divorced from, another man... and often money exchanges hands. This sort of practice can add to the exploitation and oppression of women, and we should not do it.

    7) I think that, in your situation, the second and third talaqs are probably valid (assuming you reconciled in between each one). If so, that would mean that you are no longer permitted to reconcile as husband and wife.

    I think that you should discuss your situation with a scholar, and in the meantime, the two of you should observe appropriate Islamic limits for non-mahrams. It might be that things are ok, but things might not be, and when it comes to risking transgressing Allah's limits, it's definitely better to be safe than sorry.

    It sounds like both of you have made mistakes, and need to think about what has brought you here. You might find it helpful to read our articles about tawbah and repentance, inshaAllah.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. You had me at "I marry one girl who is younger then me and its my 2nd marriage but i hide this marriage from my family."

    So do you have two wives? Or have you been married, divorced and then married again to someone else? Secretly? Then you say talaq several times over a few days period. Because your wife committed adultery? Your wife asked you to divorce her so she could marry someone else. Then she is now with you and you want to remarry her?

    Quick question. Are you serious? Are you Muslim? Is this some kind of joke of someone with nothing else to do? Why don't you go to a religious leader for a consultation. And then a marriage counselor for training. None of this makes any sense.

    The first wife is probably counting her blessings.

  4. Assalaamualaikum.

    1) you can take her back if it is the 1st or 2nd divorce
    -this divorce is called Baynoona sughraa (a minor separation)

    2) if it is the 3rd divorce, this is Baynoona Kubraa (major separation)
    -you can't remarry her until she marries another, consummates, then divorces him
    -this can't be arranged by the husband
    -the man can't take her back until these conditions are met

    3) Halaala = when you arrange a friend to marry her, consummate and
    -then divorce so your friend gives her back to you

    'Ali said, The 'Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be on him, cursed the man who committed halalah and the one for whom halalah was committed.' (At-Tirmidhi 9:25)

    -a 3rd divorce is MAJOR separation (so no accommodations and she can't uncover in front of him)

    YOU CAN TAKE HER BACK: verbally
    -baynoona sughraa
    -physically by kissing her or making jimaa
    -Imam Malik said if you cuddle her or hold her hand w/ intention to take her back: -you took her back!!
    -you can do it SMS, text message or email

    DIVORCE PAPERS that are signed ...
    -regardless if they come from civil or Shariah courts, as long as person is mature,
    -and not mad (insane) and not forced to sign them ..
    -this is counted as 1 divorce

    IF A MAN HAS 4 WIVES and he divorces one ...
    -he must wait for the iddah of one wife to pass
    -if he marries before the 3 menses elapses of one of the 4 wives:
    -he’s committed adultery

  5. Which GAME is this that you are playing ?

    Talaq intercourse intercourse Talaq than Halala

    Grow up.

    At first you married this 2nd girl SECRETLY .. I doubt that thing at first. What does it mean secretly ? Her parents dont know about it ? Wali? Witnesses ? I doubt the authenticity of that so called Nikaah at 1st that you have wrote about.

    Halala - Now you are asking whether you should allow her to marry someone else and than that person divorces her. And what if he doesnt ? Ohh than she will take Khula ? :))

    Rather than getting into all these things. You better marry some 3rd female with fresh Nikaah and Fresh Mahr PAPPU

    ( Editors please pardon my sarcasm but honestly that is what i could write from the bottom of my heart. Kindly Forgive )

  6. Salam,

    Your first nikah with her should've been public, it should've had the permission of her family, and should've been public to your side of the family. This is what is being asked of you in the Quran. So the first thing is to correct this. Have a proper marriage now just to be sure you're fulfilling all the requirements and aren't living in sin.

    As for the divorce, if you are divorcing her then she needs to stay with you for the iddah. You aren't supposed to kick her out and she isn't supposed to leave either. During that time you two can get back together. So when you say you are divorced, that counts as one time. Based on my understanding of Islam, saying it a second time has no consequence. You will not be divorced a second time without getting back together a second time. You cannot divorce someone you are not married to.

    So in order to divorce her three times you would need to divorce her once, get back togther, divorce her twice, get back together, divorce her a third time. After that she has to get married to someone else and go through divorce and that person can also get back together with her the same way. Halala, although not explicity forbidden, is obviously not the right path on many levels. Marriage has a commitment, what's the point of the commitment when the girl has already decided to divorce before the marrieage? What about her mehar? What about the memories she now has of being with someone else? Would the original guy even treat her the same afterwards? There are a lot of issues with this so I would not recommend it.

  7. Stop throwing talaq threats around like free candy, and you wouldn't have this silly problem on your hands. Learn to control your emotions instead of casually divorcing your wife every time you are upset with her.

  8. My husband send 1divorce by post and after 4 month he got married another woman in 4 days after send me 2 and3 divorce together again by post is my nikah valid

    • There is no need for more than one divorce. After the first one, you enter iddah. If the iddah is completed without any reconciliation, you are divorced. So, assuming there was no reconciliation during that period, you are divorced, your nikah is finished.

      Wael Editor

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