We agreed to marry, but broke up due to personal issues; Now I am confused
We Broke-up...
I used to chat to this guy that's related to me. We liked each other a lot. We spent time together too. 6 months later he told his family he wanted to marry me.
I was happy with this, but for some personal reasons things started to mess up between us. In a way I am happy that we broke up because it kept me from commiting sins etc;
But now I feel because I left him, we will never get together again. When we ended I said some really nasty things to him. after that I have seen him around a few times, he always stares at me etc; and make me aware he's around by doing silly things.
Now, a few years later I have recently seen him at a wedding and he actually spoke to me. It felt just like old times. I feel as though I can't stop thinkin about him. He's always on my mind. I wnt to get back with him the halal way but I feel he has a girlfriend.
He's the perfect guy. After the wedding I have spoken to him through text but not much. I feel as though he is blanking me now. What could this mean? I know he had deep feelings for me then and I was young and stupid and foolish 🙁
I like him a lot! 🙁 what can I do about this?
~ miss-starr
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Asalaamualaykum,
What can you do about this? You can start by breaking the cycle of wondering and wasting time and instead speak to him.
Tell him that since time has passed, you have had the opportunity to think and reflect and you would like to consider marriage with him but in a halaal way. But do not ignore the personal issues that affected your marriage prospects with this man in the past. If he is willing to speak to you with a view to marriage (not just meeting you as a friend), then see where it leads you and if this is the case, then I suggest strongly that you involve a family member too.
Do Istikhara before speaking to him and put your trust in Allah. Read this - (taken from http://www.iLoveAllaah.com):
"As tempting as it may be, let’s try to not ask Allah to give us a specific spouse ‘by name’. We might really like someone and imagine them to be our only Mr or Mrs Right, our Destiny. But if it hasn’t worked out after performing salat ul-Istikhara (prayer for guidance), let’s rest assured that only Allah knows what that particular person is truly like and whether they would be a ‘pure match’ for us. Instead let’s ask Allah to choose our spouse, to guide us to who He knows will be a good match. By truly putting our trust in our Creator we will be certain that He will give us someone better suited to us than we would have chosen ourselves, Insha’Allah!"
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor