Can My Fiance Hook up with Another Woman?
Question:
My fiancé wants to hook up with a middle aged woman while he waits for me to move to the other side of the country which he wants me to do.
He says he is allowed to do this because he has needs.
I am a convert to islam and have no one to talk to.
Is this allowed?
-mala4654
Sister Z's Answer:
Dear Sister,
This man is taking advantage of your lack of knowlegde in Islam - through no fault of your own. It is very unfortunate, but many of the questions posted on this site are by revert sisters who are taken advantage of through their lack of Islamic knowledge. Do not be fooled by him.
Islam does not permit any sort of sexual intimacy outside the folds of marriage, so no, Islam does not allow your fiance to take another woman while he waits for you. Everyone has needs, but Islam teaches us how to control these needs till we are able to get married. We are taught to control ourselves by focussing our minds on the rememberance of Allah and by staying away from those things that encourage sexual promiscuity and sexual activity outside of marriage.
Sister, if I were you, I would seriously question whether it is sensible to progress a relationship with a man who holds such immoral views and furthermore uses religion to try and justify this immorality. If you are looking for a husband who reflects the beauty and noble character of our Prophet(saw), this man does not seem to fit the bill.
It must be a struggle for you having reverted to Islam as you are learning a whole new way of life. But sister remember, there are some things, regardless of any religion, which are just clearly morally incorrect. Do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Do you have a Muslim community near you, or a mosque? I advise you strongly to attend religious classes if you can do so or even surf the net for information about Islam. Your key to empowerment is knowledge.
Best Wishes,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Dear Sister,
This man is taking advantage of your lack of knowlegde in Islam - through no fault of your own. It is very unfortunate, but many of the questions posted on this site are by revert sisters who are taken advantage of through their lack of Islamic knowledge. Do not be fooled by him.
Islam does not permit any sort of sexual intimacy outside the folds of marriage, so no, Islam does not allow your fiance to take another woman while he waits for you. Everyone has needs, but Islam teaches us how to control these needs till we are able to get married. We are taught to control ourselves by focussing our minds on the rememberance of Allah and by staying away from those things that encourage sexual promiscuity and sexual activity outside of marriage.
Sister, if I were you, I would seriously question whether it is sensible to progress a relationship with a man who holds such immoral views and furthermore uses religion to try and justify this immorality. If you are looking for a husband who reflects the beauty and noble character of our Prophet(saw), this man does not seem to fit the bill.
It must be a struggle for you having reverted to Islam as you are learning a whole new way of life. But sister remember, there are some things, regardless of any religion, which are just clearly morally incorrect. Do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Do you have a Muslim community near you, or a mosque? I advise you strongly to attend religious classes if you can do so or even surf the net for information about Islam. Your key to empowerment is knowledge.
Best Wishes,
SisterZ
Assalamo alaykom Warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. It is haram. It is prohibited in Islam. If you leave a person because you fear ALLAH, Allah will substtitue a better person for you, Insha Allah.