Frustrated about loving him from afar
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh
I'm 24 years old, I liked a man for almost 8 years now, and just last year I was able to tell my father how I feel about that guy. My father just laughed out the matter and told me to forget it. We don't have any communication or relationship with the guy I secretly love for 8 years, and I am getting frustrated each day. I don't have any news on what's going on his life. He was my father's 1st cousin and the youngest among the siblings, so with that said he is my 2nd degree uncle. Is it haram to tell him how I feel about him? He is not married yet, and I was able to open it up to my girl cousin about this matter. Someone told me there is no problem if I tell him, but it wasn't that easy, please help me... Thank you. JazakhAllah Khayr
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Stop being frustrated. Just pray to Allah to do what's best for you. If you are serious about this guy then tell your parents to take you serious and arrange a marriage.
Assalaamualaikam
One thing to consider before taking any big steps: How well do you actually know this man? If you've not had any contact with him in 8 years, how sure are you that he is the right man for you?
If you are seriously considering marriage, take some time to find out about him - is he practising, is he of good character, do the two of you have similar values and goals in life? You could speak with your parents and say that you have been thinking about marriage and still feel that this is a potential you would like to find out more about. InshaAllah they may well be willing to get some information about this man, or at least explain to you why they feel he wouldn't be a good match if they are opposed.
Before making any decision on the matter, pray istikhara - trust that Allah will guide you to what is best?
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Thank you for that wonderful advice, it's been quite 2 months now, and I heard from my father that he wants to marry a girl that is not related to our family. My father told me to forget him, and someday In-Shaa'Allah someone will come along and ask for my hand in marriage. It was kinda depressing, but I guess since the day my father laugh about the matter, I slowly recognised that he didn't like the guy for me. If he likes the guy then my father will take it seriously and ask the man's family to arrange a marriage.
It is funny, but I'm moving on now... The fact that I told him how I feel and rejected me, and chose a girl that is not related to our family is the best signs that he doesn't like me at all.