Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Gender identity

Transgender and Islam

Transgender and Islam

I'm a girl. But I strongly feel like a boy. I get attracted to girls sometimes. I have a boy-like body (other than my genitals). As far as I can remember, when I was small, around the age of 4, I'd wear boy clothes, my mom would force me to wear dresses and such but I insisted no. I even act like a boy, walk like a boy. But at the age of 13 I knew I had to change, so that I won't get mocked. But who I am right now, the girly me, is all fake. and I can't stand this anymore. Honestly. But I heard transgender is haram. Brothers, sisters, please help me.

zaff

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    The first thing I want to emphasise is that, by definition, a person cannot be haraam. Every one of us is as Allah made us, and one of Allah's creations cannot be haraam. We face tests and trials in this life, and through these we need to stay away from haraam actions and ensure that we follow His guidance.

    You don't have to be "girly" to be female. Many girls and women prefer trousers rather than skirts or dresses. Many have interests in traditionally "male" fields such as sports, computers, science, etc. Rather than pretending to be someone you aren't, explore and celebrate what makes you "you" (within Islamic limits, of course). You may well find that, once you are able to stop pretending to be girly, you are able to feel comfortable as a female, inshaAllah.

    Having attractions to females also doesn't mean you must be male. It's very common for people to have romantic or even sexual thoughts about people of the same gender, without it meaning that they're transgender or homosexual. Some people may be attracted to people of the same sex, either due to bisexuality (sexual attraction to males or females) or homosexuality, without it meaning they're transgender.

    One of the concerning things about current trends in gender identity, is that instead of encouraging people to embrace who they are, people are increasingly pressured to fit into preconceived stereotypes of what "masculine" and "feminine" should be like, and people who don't neatly fit into these stereotypes can find themselves in a situation where they are being told by society that being who they are means they need to change sex/identity, when this might not actually be what's right for them.

    Having questions about your sexuality and your gender identity can be very difficult to cope with, as there aren't many resources available for young Muslims in these situations - many of the resources available to people at the moment are biased and don't give advice from an Islamic perspective. It may be a safer approach to discuss these issues with a Muslim counsellor or therapist - even if they don't have specific expertise in gender identity, they will inshaAllah be able to help you explore things while maintaining your Islamic perspective.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  2. Asalam o alaikum sister.
    I myself was a tomboy growing up. I am in my mid twenties and now I feel comfortable being a girl. I still wear boy clothes except for when I go out. I myself thought that being a boy is strong and being in control so I acted like one, I had immense power that an ordinary girl wouldnt have and I had features like boys that if I got out in boy’s clothing, no one would know that I am a girl. I still dont do the girly stuff like make up, shopping etc(but I was never attracted to girls).Maybe you think like that or feel like that...
    There is a difference between a transgender and a transexual. Transexual is someone who is a perfect male or female physicaly but they do things oppositely and are attracted to the same gender. Whereas the trangenders are the
    ones who are born with mixed genetals.
    I think that you are attracted to girls is because you act and feel like a boy. There is another thing that explains this behaviour is that you have high levels of testastrone(male hormone) and low levels of estrogen(female hormone). I will never tell you that what you do is haram and you should go to hell etc. You should give it a rest and go with the flow. Try to search the net for things that will increase your estrogen and lower you testastrone. Don’t force anything on yourself, everything will get better with time. Personaly I think when you have a husband or someone they would automaticaly make you want to be feminine. There is one thing in this post that is really wrong, its that you shouldnt be attracted to girls. You have to stop yourself there because homosexual feelings and/or relationships are absolutely haram.

    http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/1872/story-of-lot-part-1/

    Read this link above, you will get guidance. Pray regularly and read Quraan and ask Allah for help to stay away from sins. Ask Allah’s refuge from shaitan, for its their whispers which lead a muslim astray into darkness.
    May Allah guide us all towards the right path and erase our worries and sorrows. Ameen. Wasalam

  3. Salam sister,

    It is very common for a girl to be tomboy while growing up, and eventually change her mindset into a woman when she is older.

    Let me tell you, I used to be a tomboy, and I was even attracted to girls when I was younger! As a teen growing up in the West, I thought it was OK. I tried the lesbian life, as well as got into soo much Haraam, because people with no regard for society will do whatever they want. Then one night I was in a club, doing all the most Haraam things, and I looked up and saw a Muslim man. We started talking and became friends, as we were both into the same boyish activities. Years passed, and I changed because I fell in love with him. He told me what he liked in a girl, and I wanted to be that girl so he would see me. Now we're married, I love to wear dresses, make up, ect...and knowing a good Muslim man steered me back to my Deen.

    It is ok to be a tomboy, but please please do not act on your urges for girls. It will get you hurt in so many ways that you will not realize until you are older.

    Salam,
    Shereen

    • OP: Then one night I was in a club, doing all the most Haraam things, and I looked up and saw a Muslim man. We started talking

      Cool, so you met your husband in a club.

      • There's no need for sarcasm.

      • As long as he is a good practicing muslim now, and guided me back..its not anyone's place to judge anyone

      • Dear SVS, i dont like your comments, especially your copy paste method. Please understand shereen point of view she is trying to help some one and you are finding mistakes. Every time you do this. Here in this site people search for help in islamic ways. And please dont comment me back iam your muslim brother like to correct you.

    • OP: I'm a girl. But I strongly feel like a boy. I get attracted to girls sometimes. I have a boy-like body (other than my genitals).

      If you are attracted to men sexually, you are fine. What do you mean boy like body? Do you have mustache, small breasts, manly voice?

  4. Just try and spend your time normal. It doesn't matter if u become a footballer etc that doesn't matter. Trust me do what u want it won't be a problen

  5. I only want to add to what's been said that some women are more "girly", and some are less. It's fine to be who you are and dress in a way that feels right to you, as long as you are not dressing outright like a man.

    I also would not worry about sometimes being attracted to women. Many women experience that. If you also have some attraction to men then there's no reason why you cannot get married eventually and live a normal family life.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. Sister,

    what you think, and what you feel is based on the creation of allah and what you do is and perform is being tested by allah. Allah has created only two genders one male and female, when child is born gender is identified by genitals and in your case self confident and self respect is required, do not think like what others think, if you are girl listen to your soul that what you are. If your attracted towards girls its normal. if you take it as sexual attraction its wrong, sex is a practice of pleasure and in islam it is more than that, nabi alaisalam said even sex with life partner will be rewarded. scientifically sex is for human growth, mean male and male or female and female can not produce a single child. Please remove unnatural thoughts from your mind, keep yourself safe clean and according to ialamic shatiya. Psychologically you are girl and your behaviour is most important.

    Brother midnightmoon has has rised some good points. And for more please read

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Thank you for your kind words. I'm not a brother, though - I'm a sister.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  7. Well a long debate took place . SVS you should understand that Shereen is trying to help her. Being a Muslims we should help our brothers and sisters.
    Dear sister zaff - Shereen is showing you the light of how deen changed her life.
    I think you should work on your Imaan and read Quran. Allah will show you the right path. No matter what we feel ,he is the supreme Creator.
    Remember wrong thought comes from the shaiytaan. Just follow the right path.
    Check your hormones, go to an endocrinologist if this thing continues. Might be because of that.

    Sorry if I said anything wrong. We are all here to help each other.
    Take care.

Leave a Response

Cancel Reply