He wants to take our daughter from me and I don’t know what to do?
As salamo alaykom w rahmatullahi w barakatuh,
I am reverted Muslimah alhamdolillah. I got divorced from my ex husband 6 months ago; he is living in Muslim country and I am from Europe. We have small daughter; 10 months old alhamdolillah. After he divorced me; I moved back home to my country with my daughter. Now he is asking me to come back to his country, so he can be with his daughter (we will stay divorced).
When we were married he started to do some haram things as using drugs, watching porn, not praying and things were getting worse day after day. Lying to me and swear by the name of Allah (swt) even not saying the truth etc; the life was very stressful. I was trying to talk to him about the situation, offered him to see his daughter either on the internet when ever he wants or come to my country for now and discuss things what is going to happen. He refused everything and every talk finished by him insulting me and telling me that I am not a Muslim. I m afraid to go back (once his family took all of my daughters documents-birth certificates etc, I will have nothing and he told me, he will take her away from me).
Now he is not asking about his daughter at all, doesn't want to see her, just keeps repeating that I have to come back with her or he doesn't want to see her again and he will pray for revenge because I took his daughter away from him.
I am praying every day for forgiveness and now I don't know how to get out from this situation as I want to do the right thing inshaAllah.
Please if you can help me inshaAllah.
JazakAllah Khayran.
Zaynah8.
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Salaams,
It really sounds like you made the best decision for you and your daughter by moving back home. This will let you surround yourself with family and old friends who will support you as you raise your daughter. I belive if you stayed in the other country where your ex lives, you would have less support and would've felt more isolated, and certainly would have been at risk of being further victimized by your ex.
If it's at all possible, go to your local courts and establish custody of your daughter in your care where you live now. It may be that someone in the court system may be able to help you recover any of her vital documents that you are missing or may need. I do not believe that you should return to your ex's country under any circumstances, and any relationship he wants to have with his daughter going forward will have to be strictly on his own efforts and on your home turf.
As you are now divorced from him and he is seeming not to want to have any productive co-parenting relationship but instead is threatening you and trying to control your choices even as a single woman, I suggest you only correspond with him through an attorney or advocate from this point on. He no longer has any rights over you and cannot expect you or even demand you to live anywhere other than where you wish. If he wants to see his daughter, he needs to come to you...and because there seems to be a viable threat that he might try to kidnap her I suggest any visits be strictly supervised. Do not leave her alone with him under any circumstances, and do not feel like you have to pander to his threats. If you feel at all that he might come after you and/or your daughter in a harmful way, inform your local authorities immediately.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Just pray for Allah ,i am sure Allah will help you and your daughter
Sister,
It appears you made a smart decision to go to your family, don't second guess yourself. I personally don't feel it is in your best interest or that of your daughters to return to him or his country. Stay with your family and as Haroon says...just pray for him.
Salam
I agree with Amy. Do not go back to the father's country, and try to secure full custody in your own country. Let the husband know that he may come to your country and have supervised visits with his daughter. During these supervised visits you should have a male family member there for security. The father should not be alone with the daughter at any time, since he has threatened to take her away from you. And you have offered to let him talk to her on the computer at any time, which is also good. If the father doesn't want to take advantage of that, it's up to him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM
FROM WHICH COUNTRY ARE YOU- Zaynah8.
DONT TRUST AND GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY AND LOOSE YR DAUGHTER AS THE PERSON YR EX HUSBAND IS MOODY ALSO AND HE MIGHT HARASS YOU AND LATER YR DAUGHTER BY THIS ......
Now he is not asking about his daughter at all, doesn't want to see her, just keeps repeating that I have to come back with her or he doesn't want to see her again and he will pray for revenge because I took his daughter away from him.
THIS MUCH IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU TO BECOME ALERT
REGARDS
ALI