In love with my girlfriend of three years, will Allah forgive me?
Assala mualaikum.
I know we are not allowed to have a girlfriend or boyfriend in Islam. May Allah forgive me InshaAllah 🙁 ,
I have been in a relationship for 3 years now and we both love each other a lot. We try praying as much as possible and look after each other as much as possible too. We did not do zina and will not till we get married. She wants to marry me and I want to marry her but right now it's not the right time, we are too young 🙁
We are 19 years old. I know we are committing sins because we do come and see each other. We often see each other every 2-3 months. My family is really religious and so is hers, so no one know about our relationship yet.
The questions I wanted to ask are:
1. Will Allah forgive me for being in a relationship ?
2. When do I tell my parents about her?
3. When do I tell my parents about me getting married?
4. Is it a sin getting married to the person you love?
Lastly I know I'm not meant to be in a relationship like this and I know I can't leave her because I love her so much and so does she so what is the best thing to do right now?
please make dua for me
jazzakallah my brothers
-mohammedali
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1. Repent 100x and thank Allah for saving you from a major sin.
2. nonsense if a person has the courage to start a haram relationship in the first place whats wrong with them getting married but ask yourself .Are you ready for a huge commitment! because with marriage their comes great responsibility
3.Ask yourself are you ready to become a father and .....is she ready to become a mother.
4.do you see a future ......really???
Salaams,
1. Allah can and will forgive this sin if you repent. Repentence is more than being sorry and sad, it means moving forward doing what you should've done all along. So in your case, if you end this haraam relationship and move forward only under the guidelines for Islamic courtship, you can be assured that Allah will forgive you. If you claim to be sorry and regretful without changing anything, none of us can really say how Allah will merit this behavior against you, or if He will be merciful in spite of your impertinence.
Questions 2 and 3 are the same. You should tell your parents right away what's going on. I know a lot of people are scared to tell their parents they want to marry someone, but the truth is, marriage is better than being in sin any day of the week. Ask your parents if they would rather have you being disobedient or married and living life the correct way? I think if a lot of parents knew how badly their children were behaving, going behind their backs and engaging in haraam relationships, they might rethink their staunch positions on waiting to marry. If it's not the right time to tell your parents, it certainly is not the right time to be having any type of correspondence or affiliation with a girl.
3. Marrying someone you care about, even deeply care about, is not a sin. Feelings in and of themselves are not what is sin, but the actions those feelings lead us to are. If you see a girl and you like her a lot and want to marry her, there is no harm in that. But if your feelings lead you to start having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (even if it's non-physical), then you have put the cart before the horse.
So, to summarize, what you need to do right now is call of this haraam relationship (feelings of love aside), ask Allah's forgiveness and start talking to your parents about your need to marry. Work with them on a good way to get that in place, and then you can go on with "happily ever after".
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Bro i love a girl can i make her my gf i swear to allah that we will not do zina as in here having a gf mtlb yaha sirf uske ghar ke samne use dekhte hai na bahar milte hai na sath bait te hai so can i ? Plz sir tell me
I mean i just wanna make her my friend not gf
We do not have boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam. If you love her, marry her.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I understand how you feel 🙁 its hard, but I think you should just tell your parents and get engaged, that way your parents know about you guys...and when your ready to get married you can after a few years or months after the engagement! Also you said your parents and her parents are religious, then that's good! As it means that inshallah both your families will get on well 🙂 remember when you fall In love...you have to face the consequences from your elders!(And yeh don't end this relationship as its 'haram' make it halal by telling your parents 🙂
Asalamualaikum,
Marriage is not a joke or for fun, it is huge responsibility of life, present and future. Yes you are not doing anything big sins but by telling parents will make your life move on easier and yeah if you both love and respect and commit to take eachother responsibility then you could get engaged or nikkha by parents and then when you will finish study and earn to run your own family then you can take responsibility. Getting married is easy but after married life is not so easy only loving so much won't fulfill you or your wife needs there are lots of things related. And then childrens gift from god, you need to be prepare for that aswell.
Best of luck may Allah forgive you and give you strength to go forward.
Best wishes
Salamu'alaikum brother,
You are too young, and at your age, such feelings are common. Shaitaan tries to attack at this age, and while your parents are religious, the intensity of his attack will be higher, so that he disturbs them as much as possible. Being in the relationship of love is haraam as it is the gateway to greater sins. But liking someone isn't wrong, as what one marries for, is love. To cite an example, if a person looks at a girl before he accepts her in marriage, then he would accept if he likes her, and thus, would love her for it. When you look for a girl to marry and you like one you'd marry her.
Further, read the following fatwaa about love, and insha Allah, it will help you a lot: http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/82941
You should anyway talk to your parents if they are ready to get you married. You said that the girl's parents are religious, too. So there are chances they accept. But if they ask you to wait, then do so, and do not keep contact with the girl, until your parents think you are ready for marriage.
And it isn't wrong to marry the person you love. The love itself could be wrong, but if you get married, that becomes legal.
May Allah keep you firm upon His Deen
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
allah will forgive you definately.....cuz khuda made love, allah knows what is love......if he has given this type of feeling in our mind that i am sure it will not a sin....ol d best
We human beings experience many emotions: love, rage, anger, hatred. Just because we feel it doesn't mean it's good or okay. Our standard must be the teachings of the Quran and the Messenger of Allah (sws).
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother i agree with you
Aasalamu alicum:
I have been in love with a guy fr the past 5 years and by 1 month back I informed my dad about my relationship but my dad rejected it as is was not allowed in Islam and the guy is also still studing and one more year to finish his studies. I am also still studing and I too have one more year to go. My dad rejected him and he said no to my relationship and he said me to leave him of and he is saying me to marry someone. I left him and did not contact him anymore but whenever I do my namaz I ask Allah I just wana marry him and I couldn't even imagine a life with someone else. He is a very gud boy he as no bad habits and he respects me very much. I never want to hurt my family and I couldn't leave him.i loved him and that is haram in Islam and Allah should forgive me fr that and Nw I am not in contact with him anymore but I ask a Allah to convince my parents to marry me to him.There are seeing alliance for my but still I have hope that inshaallah Allah will convince my parents to marry me with him and forgive my sins.plzz sisters and brothers make dua for me. I am in such a worst situvation crying all day and night I don't want to hurt my parents and I on another hand I want to marry him.
No father will allow his daughter to continue an illicit relationship. If the young man is sincere, let him come with his family and propose marriage. Unfortunately he is already at a disadvantage since he carried out a secret relationship with you for so long, and your father knows that. But he can try.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum my name is Muhammad Ibrahim I am from Myanmar but I live in America I am a Muslim I am a student in high school I really really really love someone but she is not Muslim but I am Muslim I thinking every time every day very moment I saw her every where I fall in love with her but I never talk with her because I am too shy and I can't forget her I fall in love with her she never knew that so can I love her please answer me????????????????????????????????! Please answer me
Brother Muhammad, you need to do your best to let go of this and forget about it. It will not benefit you in any way. The only acceptable relationship between you would be marriage and you are too young for that. I know it's very difficult as you are at an age where you feel strong attraction toward girls, and of course in an American high school you are surrounded by provocatively dressed girls. Try to distract yourself with studies, hobbies, going to the masjid, sports and other things, and be patient until you can get married Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I hv been in a relationship for abt 3 years now and our end goal is marriage we do not hv sexual feelings or anything that will make us harram is it okay for me to continue this
If there are no sexual feelings why you want to marry her. How old are you both?