Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Man I love is engaged to someone else

Broken heart made of tilesI've been in a relationship with a guy for almost a year now. He told me that he got engaged when he was young and he never had feelings for her. His family forced him into this engagement.

His father passed away may Allah grant him jannah.

He tells me everything and we're more than just a couple. He's my best friend and he protects me from every bad thing. I feel like we're married. I even told my mom I love him and my family has no problem in us getting married. But i never told them that we're in a relationship because i know it's a huge sin but i really can't help it.

The problem we have now is that his family doesn't wants to break the engagement because it's a within family engagement and there are already many problems in his family and if they break this engagement he his mom and siblings will be left all alone. I am so stuck in this situation...i lost trust in everything...even in Allah .. I feel as if Allah wants me to be all alone that's why he left me in this situation.

- Mehrisha

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5 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaykum Mehrisha,

    He is currently engaged and furthermore, it sounds like his family situation is very complicated. For your own well-being, I would recommend that you break off relations with him. You could have a great deal of stress in your life that can be avoided. As far as being "alone" as you fear, please remember that no one is ever alone, as we have Allah. It is only Allah who knows whether He has chosen someone for you, but please know that you will be taken care of by Allah regardless.

    Hugs,

    Nor

  2. Salam sis, how can u be in a relationship and you know its a sin yet you blame allah that he left you in that situation to be alone?!....trust comes with honesty and your not 100% honest with allah how can you expect his support....make tawbah and be sincere inshallah you will get the answers your after.

  3. Salam Mehrisha, please dont think badly of Allah. He is kind and merciful to us.

    The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am.

    The Scholars (may Allah have mercy upon them) commented on the above Hadith Qudsi, where the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said that Allah said, “I am as my slave expects Me to be”:

    Ibn Hajar (may Allah have Mercy upon him) said: “meaning, I am able to do whatever he expects I will do.” [Fath al-Bari]

  4. Sister this man is now taken and engaged to someone else. He belongs to someone else. Leave him alone and cut off ALL contact with him. It will be difficult for you but you need to think with logic and not just emotions. If you keep contacting him you are not only hurting yourselves but also his fiancé and her family. He is not a child and he has the right to make up his own mind which he should do. If he is not wantibg to stand up to himself and only does what his parents want then leave him as he is making that choice by getting engaged to someone else and not standing up to himself. Trust that Allah has someone better for you. Also if he is in a relationship with you whilst engaged to some else, how trust worthy is he?? Not at all as he has two women. He will likely do this to you with some one else if you got married.

    If he really loved you then he will stand up for himself and say no to his family and tell them he wants to marry you. He is just talk but no actions. Walk away and put our trust in Allah and pray to Allah that he will grant you a man who wants a halal relationship with you as his wife and not as a girlfriend.

  5. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    As everyone advised above, I strongly suggest you break all contact with this man. He is married, and zina he could potentially commit with you would be Al-Kabirah, which is classified as one of the most heinous sins a Muslim can commit.

    Not only that, you would be breaking off his relationship with his wife, that is another burden you will face on the day of Qiyamah when she and her family testify against you.

    Pray to Allah that he disconnects your heart from what was was not meant for you. Have faith in his plans, Allah will not burden a soul beyond with what it can bear. Seek His help, and speak to your family about finding someone else who is more compatible with your situation.

    May Allah give you a pious spouse, and protect you from sin.

    Ameen

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