Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My thoughts are eating me alive!

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Assalamu Alikum!

I'm 17 year old girl soon turning to be 18. I'm only daughter to my parents. All my life I felt so alone that I found my desperations in watching porn this was when I started getting my periods I never realized what led me to it but i kept on watching it for a year or less. I knew it was wrong but within this period of time my harmones started to balance and I soon overcame the problem Alhamdullilah.

I turned to My Lord and found solace and love in ibadah! I stopped listening to music ,watching movies ..everything bad. I started doing Qayam on a regular basis. I started doing hijab by the age of 15 and took veil at 16 .life seemed perfect but then for a year or so it hit me again my harmones are not balance according to my doctor and I'm on medications now. I feel so much anxeity now a days that i cannot control it.

I watched a video again after 3-4 years . I felt so guilt that I did not know how to ask Allah for forgiveness! I never stopped praying . after that I watched video 2-3 times but every time I asked for forgiveness . I spent my last whole year with a heavy heart and confused self! I kept on praying but my duas had no power I thought Allah was mad at me I stopped everything and tried to please Him . Beacause nothing is more beloved to me thatn Him.

Again,now I'm having thoughts which I cannot control I feel like dying about it! Whenever I close my eyes at night or any other time to sleep those flashes come back. I've tried so hard to fight back but somehow I slip I even did not sleep for 2 nights because of this. It makes me feel so bad that i'm no longer the person that i used.to be. I don't know how to control it. I've tried everything . Need help JazakAllah!

Anonymous360

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7 Responses »

  1. Wa Alaykum asalam warahmatulahi wa barakatuhu,

    Most people won't admit it but its an ongoing problem.

    Have you tried fasting?
    Ramadhan is coming. Try to refrain from music or certain movies that have sexual acts.

    Before you get in bed or have time to even watch it. Put on some quran. So you can remind yourself. If its your MOBILE PHONE that you view it from. Save islamic pictures as your wallpaper anything that would remind you of God.

    But honestly speaking if all that you have tried and still no help.

    Get married!

    Theres been times ive been slipping
    I had to make serious traps for myself lol but alhamdulilah. What ive told you helped me.

  2. Recite Durood sharif (salawat ) in abundance....
    Always stay away from silly boys and zina..
    pray for marriage insha Allah

  3. What hormonal imbalance do you have? Are you on medication?
    Stay away from all sources that could lead you to wrong thoughts. Have firm faith that Allah listens to you when you call upon Him.
    Feeling ashamed of sins is saddening in itself and when combined with hopeless thoughts and waswasa that we are unable to reach Allah leads to further depression. Keep faith, Allah is Most Merciful. He will forgive even if we have a mountain of sins so why despair of His Mercy?
    Relax. Continue with astaghfar. Keep yourself occupied and physically active during the day with household chores, studies, volunteering, friends and tire yourself out so that when you hit the pillow at night, you fall asleep immediately instead of tossing and turning around.

  4. OP: I'm 17 year old girl soon turning to be 18. I'm only daughter to my parents. All my life I felt so alone that I found my desperation in watching porn this was when I started getting my periods.......... i kept on watching it for a year or less. I knew it was wrong but within this period of time my hormones started to balance and I soon overcame the problem Alhamdullilah.......... I started doing hijab by the age of 15 and took veil at 16 .life seemed perfect but then for a year or so it hit me again my hormones are not balance according to my doctor and I'm on medications now. I feel so much anxiety now a days that i cannot control it.

    Are you implying your hormone imbalance is causing you to watch porn? Puberty (periods) causes changes that help one experience sexual feelings. This happens to every one.

    What is your anxiety about? Which hormones are not balanced? Are you getting medication for anxiety?

  5. Salam sister. Porn is a real problem for current generation. There are many practicing muslims who are suffering and trying to overcome it. I would suggest you to go through reddit/muslimnofap group. There you will get much motivation and help to overcome this bad habit. You are at very early stage right now, and not addicted like many muslims. Alhamdulillah. Go through the group I mentioned. You will get much help and support in this regard. Jazakallaho khair

  6. Here's your real doctor the scholors of Islam .a wordy doctor can never give you an honest answer unless he is a practicing muslim....Get off any medication especially antidepressants! !! The answer to all questions is in deen...Those people who chase this world for fun n games will never be successful and get contentment of the heart because of the disobedience. Of disobeying the commandments of Allah and teachings of prophet Muhammad PBUH. . This is the only success...quran salah is the key to success....Allah will give you so much peace n tranquility love happiness because of these two things lacking in the muslims today. ...Just learn it and master it ...I recommend you go to the mosque and learn it properly stick to the company of practising sisters and help build the community. ..Allah says you help my deen I will help you.....Enviroment is very important..

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