They won’t let us marry because we’re not cousins
I am a Christian girl, I've been dating a Muslim guy for almost 2 years. We are in love but there is one thing stopping us, his father wont accept me because I'm not his cousin.
We have been trying to make things work with his father but he still don't want to accept me, and I keep telling my boyfriend that if he was to stay with me his father won't hate him, he might be angry but that's his father, he's not going to stay mad forever, but my boyfriend is too scared to make that choice because he don't want to lose his father.
How can we make things work ?
I don't want to give up.
- Renee220609
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Dear Renee220609
The problem isn’t the fact you are not cousins it is because your Christian from a different religion all together. If this Muslim guy truly loves you then he would make a joint decision with you to tell his parents straight. If the parents still don’t agree then it means they don’t want you because the shame they will have to feel infront of the people and family. The guy don’t want to lose his parents either because he knows how bad things will have an affect of his family. Being in a mix relationship is very hard to accept for the parents and if this guy doesn’t fight for you then you know the answer. I wish you all the best for the future.
Hi Renee220609,
I agree with what Samina has posted.
His father would probably prefer a girl of his choice, perhaps a cousin. But the concern of his dad isn't just that. He most likely worries that you being a non-Muslim would take him away from Islam as well as from preserving cultural traditions carried out by their family.
I can actually relate to your situation very well as I myself would like to marry my boyfriend of almost 2 yrs. I converted to Islam abt a year ago Alhamdullilah (thank God) and since then any and all obstacles in life are easier to deal with. Our religion has brought us closer together and InshaAllaah (God willing) we will get married soon.
He told his mom abt me first and then his mom told the dad. Both parents didn't take it well. First his mom was mad and disappointed but with time she came around and trusted her son's judgment in choosing a potential spouse. Now his father is trying to get use to the idea of his son marrying a white convert that he didnt choose for him (or at least that's what im hoping and praying for).
Please try to understand his parents and respect their wishes. They probably hoped to arrange their son's marriage to someone who they know (and know her family).
Have you tried learning about Islam?
Our religion tells us to be kind and loving to our parents and do our best to please them. Keeping peace and making them proud is very important to every Muslim. That is why your boyfriend doesnt want to upset his dad.
Family ties, especially parents and elders are highly respected and therefore every good Muslim should be mindful of their approval.
From a former christian: please read about Islam and perhaps you'll find it interesting (to say the least).
Maybe you'll find some answers and you'll be able to understand your boyfriend and his parents better.
http://www.islam101.com/dawah/pillars.html
http://www.thekeytoislam.com/
Good luck. I hope that helps 🙂