Islamic marriage advice and family advice

“I do”, or set him free?

marriage nikah arranged forced

Assalam o alaikum brothers and sisters,

I am a Christian who unintentionally fell deeply in love with a Muslim man. We knew each other for almost 2 years, and spent a lot of time together. He introduced me to his family as his girlfriend; they don't actually hate me but I felt in my heart that they don't want me to be a part of them unless I become a Muslim. I also introduced him to my family.

He wanted to marry me from the very beginning, but I told him to wait because we have enough time to know each other more everyday. The second time he asked me I got so confused, with a lot of questions in my mind. I even tried to ask him some of them.

He is so positive about the future, but I am totally giving up. As a woman who is going to soon be a wife and mother, I can never imagine having to forsake my kids. I don't want it to come to the point where they will be confused about their religion- like their father is praying this way but mom has it that way.


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5 Responses »

  1. You will be fine and the kids won't be confused as they will become Muslims and if you can't accept that then don't have kids with this man and just break up instead

  2. The kids will follow fathers religion. No excuses about it so you have to be okay with that, if not, have mercy and let him go

  3. Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women but the children are always Muslim. I know of many marriages that have broken up once the man insists his kids be Muslim even though he does not practice himself. Please make sure you discuss all this with your man before marriage. I know too many women who say he is barely a Muslim why is he forcing this on the kids? People talk too much of weddings and wedding day but not what happens the next day, next month, next year. Please talk about next year and later. It will save you much pain and regret later.

  4. OP: He introduced me to his family as his "girlfriend"; they don't actually hate me but I felt in my heart that they don't want me to be a part of them unless I become a Muslim.

    I guess his family does not mind him having a "girlfriend" Why should they hate you, you are entertaining their son? You will be used and boy will marry a girl his family knows.

  5. Hi Madeleine,

    Can I ask you what's holding you back from becoming Muslim? Christianity and Islam is basically all the same stuff, with the exception of the fact that in Islam, Jesus is a prophet and not God Himself. Nobody can be worshiped on the level that God/Allah is worshipped, including Jesus. But Islam fully recognizes Jesus' value and teachings!

    I encourage you to ponder and wish you all the best,


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