Bullying; How do I stop her?
Assalam O Alaikum,
I get bullied by this girl every year.
Please help; I am crying while writing this.
Please help:(.
Mariana
15 Responses »
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Salaam sister Mariana.
I am sorry to hear you're being bullied. It is horrible, and hurtiful. You say it happens every year? Continously throughout the year or do you this person at the same time each year? Please do give more information so it will be easier to advise you little sister. Who is bullying you? Where does it happen? Have you told anyone - like an adult you can trust? What are they saying or doing to you?
There is lots of advice I can offer but please understand that it is difficult without this information. But one thing I want to remind you of dear sister is that the problem lies with the girl not with you. People like that are unhappy themselves so they want to make others feel small and unhappy too. Please remember that and dont let the sadness overwhelm you. Please do write back on here (by commenting on this post) and provide the info that will help us help you InshaAllah.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
Dear Mariana, Walaykumsalaam,
I am sorry you are being made to feel this way. Is this girl calling you names, threatening you, making fun of you, making you feel small, hurting you physically, or touching you in other ways you do not like? What is she doing? As Sister Sara said, I hope you will write to us and let us know.
Being bullied can make you feel frightened, alone, confused, angry, ashamed, unimportant and all sorts of negative things. But you do not deserve to feel any of these things, nor do you deserve to suffer in silence, nor do you have to deal with these problems alone. Please confide in us or a teacher, or your parents, or a trustworthy adult or elder brother or sister.
We await your reply.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
It could be that my perspective is uniquely male, or just a certain kind of male. I do teach martial arts, after all. Anyway, my opinion on bullying is that it doesn't stop until you fight. You have to hold your ground, stand up for yourself, and fight back. Even if you lose the fight, you just have to hurt the other girl a little bit, and the next time she'll think twice about picking on you.
Many people are afraid of standing up for themselves because they're afraid of getting hurt. But the emotional pain of being bullied can be worse than the physical pain of a black eye or bloody nose. The physical pain passes, while the emotional pain endures.
So if the bully attacks you physically, then fight. Use your hands, feet, elbows, and knees. Sign up for a martial arts class to learn more.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
This is not a funny topic, but reading the difference in responses made me laugh. Of all the 6 comments, Wael was the only male to respond and it was such a hands on response too. Hmm.
I do not believe that physically fighting back is always the answer, unless of course it is self defence (as Wael said). I have found that when a bully gets a taste of his own medicine, it shakes him and sets him back a bit. But each situation needs to be dealt with according to its own merits. So seek help my little Sis, insha'Allah, we will try to give you some specific tips if you let us know whats going on.
One thing for sure: The bully can only bully while his/her behaviour is kept a secret. He/she does it shamefully while hiding from others. So who is it that he/she would want to hide his/her bullying behaviour from? Most likely an adult or a teacher. So if thats his/her weak point - strike there!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Mariana,
The reason this girl has bullied you and continues to bully you is because you have done nothing about it thus showing her you are weak. She sees your weakness and will continue to bully you because it makes her feel powerful. Your silence gives her the power, can you not see that?
Solution: Tell an adult, a teacher, your parents. The fact is, this girl is a bully and she is making you very sad...that's not cool. If you read a bit on the web, you will find that people like this may have a reason that they bully. Go to the link I am posting here. It is a website made by kids for kids and it shows the different reasons why some children tend to bully other children.
http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/whybully.html
Your most powerful weapon will be that of an adult. Are you afraid that she will know you told someone? Who cares?! Stand up for yourself and say, "I am not taking this anymore!" Who knows, maybe one day she will actually respect you and apologize for being so ugly to you.
Salam
Salaams Mariana
I have been there and my experience is not to make friends and sister children are very cruel but you have to be strong and achieve good grades inshallah this will be your comeback in later life trust me and hang in there. My little one I will tell you not to react or get angry if the bully says something let her carry on making a fool of herself and you walk away because that makes you much a stronger lady. The reason why she is picking on you is because you are very special, clever, unique and beautiful and bullies lack all these qualities they have no personalities and they feel the need to mix in bad crowds that make them feel better. Trust me when this bully gets older she will regret her actions but right now she’s taking the fun in to pass time and that is to knock you down and she see’s that vulnerability in you please don’t show it or even react anymore. You have to toughen up my advise is you take on kick boxing this helped my self confidence and I started to believe I was better and worth more. You can tell your teacher and if that don’t help or make a difference, write your feelings down before bed and how the next day you plan on your day, if you have a routine like this you wont have to even rely on anyone because even when I was being bullied I found the situation got worse the more I told the teachers and yes it can work and other times I found if I wrote how I felt its helped the next day not to go to the teacher I had to remind myself I will fight today on my own regardless if I didn’t then my grades would have suffered. One thing you have to remember is, it doesn’t matter where you are, or who you are, people will always talk and backbite behind your back and the only person that is better than them is you, so go hang in there and get your grades its only couple more months and years then trust me who be laughing.
Sister dearest,
Please tell your mother, father about it, tell your older siblings that you are being bullied, tell your tutor/your teacher that you are being bullied. Sister, please tell somebody near you that this girl is picking on you. Please tell someone to help you. Please!!!
Your sister,Parveen
-x-
Asalaam alaikum,
Bullies always wait till no one is watching to commit their oppression. While telling an adult is good, so that they can keep an eye on you, we need to understand that there will be times when you are alone. So I agree with Br.Wael on this point. As he is probably aware, the Gracie family of Brazilan jujitsu fame have developed a anti-bully program for children, Bully Proof. With self-confidence building and effective confrontation methods, this is just might what you need or a similar course like it.
http://www.graciekids.com/Default.aspx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chsD7gZdZw0
Read a dua but i don't know any to stop it as myself getting bullied
Dear Mariana,
I get how you feel, here is my story from what happened yesterday.
So my bff Allie, my friend Francesca, and i were texting on Kik, and talking about Victoria who has bullied me and Allie since 1st grade. I jokingly said " i dont care if Victoria hears us", apparently Francesca didnt know i was kidding and facetimed Victoria. Victoria then texted me and Allie saying " why did you call us divas" she had called us divas the day before, then said " Im telling my mom" then texting me saying " And the principal" Allison was terrified and started crying, she sent me a picture too, and deleted kik.
This was a sudden act of bullying we were not aware of, i was expressing my anger i had kept in for all those years, yet she said she would inform the principal and her mom, yet it had absolutely nothing to do with the principal. I am going to tell the principal how she has bullied me and to call my mom, for my mom said " i dont care if you get in trouble because of her" because she had bullied me all those years.
So Mariana, tell her how you feel, though not how i did, better sooner than later. Go up to her and say " (name) i feel like you have bullied me for ( years) years, i would appriciate if you would please stop because it gets my parents and i upset", then walk away. And dont let her get to you, or else she has won, think about my story that happened on just Friday, hopefully it will make you feel more confident.
I hope you feel better Mariana, and talk to your parents about her for me, kay?
Sincerely, Cam
I get bullied by a girl called fatima jahangir she won't stop she makes me feel so weak as she is muscular in a way she threatens to beat me up oh Muslim brothers and sisters please help please give me a comment to stop this
please i am being bullied...i dont know what to do...all my friends are not picking up their phones or have changed their numbers...i dont know what to do...pls help me...even my friends are bullying me :((( i am a muslim and a hafiz of quran :'(
Tell everyone about it....not just tell, share it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr.... Let the whole world know the names and pictures of these bullies. Add video evidence of them bullying people too. Just like how the whole world knows what Israel is doing to the Palestinians by committing genocide, let everyone know about these monsters called bullies too. And their accomplices who stand by doing nothing, including teachers and parents. Let the world know about them.
Bullies like Fatima Jehangir...may not be blowing kids and babies up, but they're doing long last emotional damage which can be just as worst. Let people know what these monsters look like and their names. Heck, stop treating them as human beings, since they obviously don't treat their victims like it. Stop being afraid. Let the whole world know now.
I get bullied and D graded by my teachers and my parents as when I was in school because My sister is a beautiful,intelligent and position holder student and i'm a average student with normal features.. Now I'm 19 and I'm in university i still being D grading from my parents and from other some peoples because I didn't get admission in a Good university. I'm so depressed from many years. I offered pray often but this depression, aloneliness force me to do wrong things as you know "Gunnah mein Lazzat hoti hai Sakoon nahi" . Please tell me what I should have to do now?
dear Mariana
i'm a helping hand (someone that helps on the internet) . bullies want to see you cry so you have to be strong try to not cry and make jokes that bounce back into the bully causing him not to bully you
- helping hand
ps: i ate all the waffles