Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abortion – Do or Don’t?

Aborting a child is not only socially or morally wrong but also haram in Islam unless practised for right reasons

I'm a Muslim, I was married and now divorced. I've never been the marriage type where I wanted to have a home, backyard kids, soccer mom. Always been a school and career woman. Since I didn't want to get married again I wanted to eventually adopt even as a single parent to save a child to love them and give them a loving home. I recently was dating someone who at first said they wanted to convert so we dated. We did have an accident and I got pregnant. I going out about 2 months into it that I was pregnant btw I still got my monthly cycle. We were going to get married but we haven't been getting along lately he no longer wants to convert. So now that we have broken up I was thinking about getting an abortion his against it in every way but I am Muslim and my family is extremely conservative I don't know what to do the baby has a heart beat already and I feel guilty but at the same time my family will disown me. I really want this baby I can take care of it financially and raise it to be a good Muslim. I'm not looking to get married or be taken care of. The father wants to be involved 100 percent. What should I do? I was told I couldn't have kids that's another reason why I wanted to adopt and Allah blessed me with this beautiful baby inside of me if I choose the baby my family will disown me?

OneonOne

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11 Responses »

  1. Asalamalikum dear...please don't kill dt little life....if u can grow denay on Allah n raise him.....peace b upon u....

  2. Keep it dont abort its a gift and blessing from Allah. You made mistake face upto the consequences and if your family disown you im sure within time they will come round i know and understand honour iszaat etc. Do Not abort that child . Your child deserves you and needs you just like an adopted child would. I could have been harsh to you but whats done is done no point thinking of your family. You have to put yourself and your baby first.

    I also want to point to you dating is haraam, sex before marriage is haraam and relationships are forbidden. May this be a lesson you learn and Allah guide you onto the correct path.

  3. As-salamu alaykum sister.

    First let me say, do not abort your child. Remember that you wanted a child, and you even considered adopting a child. So how could you possibly terminate the life of your own child? Every child is a gift from Allah. Reject this one (and abortion is a sin in Islam) and you may never receive another.

    Your family disowning you is the least concern. They may be upset at first, but often when parents see the baby's face, they come around and become supportive. One you give birth, you will be unable to imagine not having your child. You will become a new family, mother and child. The child will enrich your life in ways you cannot imagine.

    Now I have to be critical of you for a moment, because your post is full of inconsistencies and weak justifications.

    You say you never wanted to be married, yet you justify dating a non-Muslim because "he wanted to convert." If you don't want to be married, then what's the difference whether he wanted to convert? The fact is that you were enjoying a haram and sinful relationship and lifestyle, and seemingly not caring about Allah, or your soul, or the possible consequences of your actions. You say you had an "accident", which is just silly. You committed zinaa, and got pregnant.

    There are no free rides in life, sister. Allah's laws exist for a reason - they are there to protect us from exactly the situation you find yourself in now.

    All of your thinking so far has been about yourself only. It's time to make a change. Think about Allah first - how can you please Allah, how can you show your love and gratitude, how can you meet Allah on Yawm-al-Qiyamah in good standing?

    And think about your child. What is best for your child-to-be?

    These should be your main concerns.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. To put things in perspective for you, parents disowning you is temporary. Burning in hell is forever and is permanent. Adultery is now on your record, an abortion may add murder to it so please try to keep your record as clean as possible. Please have the baby.

  5. "But I'm a Muslim and my family is extremely conservative"
    i don't like being hardish but if your a Muslim you shouldn't be in this situation as you should know Zina is a major sin.
    Anyways..
    Your an adult and you decided to be intimate wth this person without being married why should your baby pay the consecanses??
    you were adult enough to have sex with someone who wasn't your husband be adult enough to have this child, the father will have rights to spend equal amount of time with his child as you, so just be prepared to share, and aborting the baby so you don't have to share will be even a greater sin!

  6. Talk to a religious scholar. He deals with this type of things all the time and knows legal laws etc. Can you keep the baby what are legal rulings of the state you are in. You do not want a baby and give it away for adaption if the guy changes his mind about you. Talk to a good family lawyer too. White guys know the local laws. If he makes a false alligation of abuse or domestic violence state will take away the baby from you. So a lot to think about only a an scholar can give you advice in this matter. Do not worry u are not the only one in this issue. Just get proper advice.

    • Aoa,sorry for writing my problem in reply but seriously i need help, 4 years ago my boyfrnd fingered me and afterwards we move to another city now is there any chance to get pregnant?becuz i feel some symptoms of pregnancy like i missed my periods in this month,nausea and i feel my tummy tight.i dont know much about pregnancy but read these all symptoms on gooogle.kindly please guide me?from previous 4 months my periods are very less and only for 3to 4 days.
      Please help.

      • saba, you cannot get pregnant from being touched by someone's fingers. And if you were pregnant, your periods would not be less or light, because you would not have any periods at all. Furthermore, no one can get pregnant years later after sexual activity. It happens immediately.

        If you are underweight or malnourished that could be the cause.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Thankyouuu soo much for your reply, i was very depressed.can you please tell my that why i feel these all symptoms?why i missed my periods?

          • Assalaamualaikum

            Sometimes depression itself can interfere with the body's normal hormonal cycles, so that might be a possible cause.

            The best thing to do if you are worried is to speak with your doctor about this. There's no need to feel awkward or embarrassed, as doctors will see many women with similar worries and they won't judge you. We cannot tell you what has caused the change in your periods, but inshaAllah your doctor should be able to.

            Midnightmoon
            IslamicAnswers.com editor

        • Apart from all these technical details at least advise sister that having boyfriend itself is haraam in Islam .Fingering is Zina and bigger sin in Islam,

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