Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Abortion Regret

Abortion recovery

I have two children, a  boy aged 14 &  a girl aged 8.

I was pregnant recently and I  had abortion because my husband didn't want it.

I regret what I did.

Now what do I  do for forgiveness from Allah?

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21 Responses »

  1. My Sister,

    I am sorry that you had to go through this terrible experience. The way to repent is to first of all feel sincere remorse over the sin. You must then remove yourself from the sin and make a sincere promise to Allah that you will never commit the sin again, and ask Allah for forgiveness every time you remember it. It is also good to commit yourself to good deeds and devoting yourself to more Islamic acts and duties such as charity, good deeds, kind words, and good manners.

    As well as this, you are likely to go through a grief cycle, as your body and hormones will be informing you of miscarriage, and you will feel a sense of grief and loss. You will experience bursts of anger, sadness and depression and this will wreak some emotional havoc with you for a period of time. Many women feel this way after such an experience, and it may be helpful to you to get in touch with an organisation which helps women recover from abortion.

    I know that you are feeling guilty, and that you seek repentance - I would tell you know that Allah is oft-forgiving and most merciful my sister, and that you don't have to prolong your suffering from guilt, and your recovery is important, so do please be kind to yourself, eat well, sleep well, and allow yourself to feel any feelings that come.

    Peace,
    L

  2. Me too.
    He forced me so brutally to abort her. Haraaaaam
    Im loosing my mind. Hasbe Allah wana'em alwakeeeeyl
    I am lost without her, im broken without her I want my baby back. She was murdered, our daughter our jewel murdered!! So small and helpless.
    Alrajal qawamoon a'al alnisaa2 to protect us.
    Not to domineer and opress us.
    He was supposed to protect us, why close every door to let me protect her, he took away everything, she was half mine he had no right. She is half mine, my baby my baby im a mother! Even my children are suffering because in broken now.
    She was a blessing, not a liability, Allah tests him and his family, when it gets rough he 'wants out and to start a new life' What about Allah? And us… our lives? Start a new life in dunya with no barakah and sell your life in akhera.
    Why force me to abort and kill her, he should have just killed us both.
    To my ex husband she was nothing, creating her was a moment, ending her life is a moment too?
    No im left drowing in her blood and unlike him I cant nor do I want to start a new bloody life! She was my life.
    Our baby was my life, why do this with me? There are women who don’t feel. I am a mother and a good mother , my maternal feelings aren’t malformed, I don’t love myself more than my kids, I really love them and I don’t own them like other parents, not now not ever, I own their love and the responsibility to love them back selflessly, you made a mother like me die with my baby for the sake of a mother who cant feel her son.

    • As salamu alaykum, sister Ummkawthar,

      Sister, do you want to log in and submit a post, this way all brothers and sisters will be able to help you in our best way, insha´Allah. Your suffering overwhelmed all of us, please give us the opportunity to be for you.

      All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear UmmKawthar,

      As Maria said, please log in and write in as a separate post. You will receive a better response that way.

      I am concerned about you and think it would do you good to have some one to one counselling.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Dear Maria & SisterZ

    Thank you for your concern.
    I do feel isolated and I would appreciate your responses to me but please understand I cant register because its a matrimonial website and I cant have my email on that database. Its just against my principals for so many reasons. SisterZ you have my email please write to me, kindly give it to Maria, I welcome women only.

    • As salamu alaykum, my beloved Sister Ummkawthar,

      Please, first of all, forgive me for not replying to you before. It is a blessing to know you, I deeply appreciate your Presence in my life, please don´t feel isolated, you are being of big help here, I highly appreciate your comments, you speak with knowledge and wisdom, I have you in great consideration as a very sensible and well prepared woman. If you are still interested, I will email you, insha´Allah.

      All my Unconditional Respect,
      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Dear Brothers and Sisters,

    I have commited such a bad sin and have been feeling the sadness and remorse. I was in a long term relationship with someone who I thought cares and loved me. I got pregnant and was put in a situation what was unplanned. My boyfriend did not want the baby and wanted me to abort it. I never was planning ong having kids and nor did I want any but when this happened I was torn becuase I also didnt want it but I am against having an abortion. My boyfriend pretty much said if I kept it he would not love the baby and would look at it with regret. I did not want to bring harm and negativity to the babys life. I didnt know what to do and didnt want to lose my boyfriend. I went to my mother and confided in her and pretty much said if the father isnt going to support you what will you do, you should just have an abortion. After doing research online about child care,welfare,community support with being a single mom (thinking the worst scare scnerio) . I did have an abortion and my boyfriend left me 4 months after. I just think about the baby and feel soo ashamed and horrible for what I did to this innocent child. I dont see how Allah can forgive me when he was trying to bless me with a baby, even though I was not ready for him/her.I cant describe or explain the feelings I feel inside and outside about what I did but I do know that I am not a good person for taking a babys life. My baby would have been 2 years old this year but is with Allah.

    • Dear A., As-salamu alaykum. I am sorry for what you have experienced. Please log in and write about your situation as a separate post so we can offer you some advice. I hope you will do so Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Good afternoon. I am not muslim, though I have found more sites with islamic teachings helping me through this. I have committed abortion. I regret it deeply. My situation and the reasons dont matter as they will never justifythe act. Seeing as I can't turn back time, I want to be able to right the wrong I have committed. I have no idea how. Please help!

  6. hi I semi contemplating abortion and all the above posts have helped me to get the idea out of my mind. so you ladies have help save 1 life by posting your stories. thank you and your all brave.

  7. Dear brother and sister,

    Im 17 years old. I have comminted such as bad sin during this ramadan. I was engaged with my husband for 1 year.. i found out that he cheated on me he asked me forgiveness, i forgive him because i loved him So much.. than he did the same time again, i started to think about leaving him. After that found out i was 1 month pregnant. He told me to abort the bleassing child but I was heart broken. But I was more happy because of my pregnancy, to see my first child in this world.... Two weeks latter i caught him cheating again.. he told me before he would never do that again but I was really sad heartbroken. Pregnancy sickness.... Confused.. didnt know what to do.. he said he will stop again but I lost my faith in him. Couldnt trust him again i decided to abort my child...... And i abort my child. And i did abort my child yesterday. but after i came home i regret everything.. Im feeling sadness and guilty, i still think what i have done is Just dream.... And my child was 9 weeks...., i cant to sleep im having bad dreams.. and please tell me. How can Allah forgive me what i have done?.. and plz make dua for me.. Im really sick.. today is my second day after my abortion. :(:( ya Allah..

    • Aslaamulaykhum

      If I was you, I'd leave him. He cheated on you once - bad but MIGHT BE forgivable. He cheats on you a second time - Unforgivable. He will NOT change.

      Then he tells you to abort your child?! Leave him, have some family members help you out and forget about the trash that is your husband. He is a piece of scum and will never change. Forget him and concentrate on your child.

      To be honest with you, I personally wouldn't allow him to see your son unles he PROVES to you that he has changed his attitude towards the child - he wanted you to ABORT your child?! HIS child?!

      He is not a man. He is less than an animal.

      May allah help you.

      • My child was 9 weeks, and i abort my child but I regret everything. I need to know if my child had soul? And what should i do to get Allah Forgiveness?

  8. have a question, a question I am hoping that you have an answer for, I have made a really bad mistake. A mistake that I want forgiveness for… I am married to a man but we are still not living together, it is only ‘aqd. Hé made me pregnant and I decided that I want to make an abortion because we had a bad time and I wasn’t sure about us.

    The baby was about 9 weeks and I didn’t know that I was pregnant before. It was the first time our first I didn’t even think about it. I told my husband the news and he wanted to keep the child, but I told him no because of alot a personal things with him. Hé supported me and went with me to the hospital and I got an abortion.

    I feel so bad about it and I regret everything I have done, Trust me I do! It was almost 3 days ago now! I am so stupid! What should I do to get forgiveness ? Someone told me that in this case you need to give gold or money? Is that true? You need to help me because I dont want to die with this sin!

    • Assalaamualaikam

      No amount of money or gold can buy you forgiveness; forgiveness is something that comes from Allah when we truly repent in our hearts. Repent to Allah (you and your husband could read the section on this website about tawbah), resolve that you will never repeat this sin, and remember that Allah is Most Merciful. We do not buy His mercy - He has promised that true repentance leads to forgiveness.

      It will take time to come to terms with what has happened. But trust in Allah's love and forgiveness.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  9. Thanks for the answer.....
    I want to know if my baby had soul? I can't forget this :'( I don't know what will my life be.. I feel like I'll be crying like this forever. I'm too weak wallah.

    I don't the sabr. I want to move on but I cant.
    I don't no one to talk to, my husband is the only one I can talk to. But sad thing his working everyday :/ tell me if I can pray and fast during my bleeding? I want to turn to Allah and do everything to get close to Allah.

    • Unfortunately , yes your baby had a soul!

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Let me start by saying that I am not a scholar - if I make any errors, I hope that someone will correct me, inshaAllah.

      My understanding is that when a child dies before birth, their soul enters Jannah (at least that's what I've read), and that the soul is breathed into the body of a developing baby at around 120 days.

      It's only been a few days after the abortion. This is something that it will take a long time to come to terms with, so you will need to be patient with yourself.

      Medically speaking, you've just had an operation, so I'd advise people recovering from medical treatment to recover for a few days before fasting again, so that their body has time to heal. You can then make up the missed fasts later.

      My understanding is that the bleeding after an abortion is different from menstrual bleeding as it is caused by a medical intervention rather than being part of our monthly cycles. So, I don't think it would mean you couldn't pray.

      Turn to Allah and repent for what has happened - make dua for your baby and pray for Allah's mercy. You might want to get some additional support, so think about contacting a post-abortion counselling service.

      If you need further advice, please submit a new post for publication rather than a comment, and it can then be published on our main page - inshaAllah, you would be more likely to get more responses and advice that way?

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  10. Asalaumkaum I am pregnant by 3 or 4 weeks. I am married with 3 lovely kids. 2 from my previous marriage and one frm my current. And my husband is been very unsupportive and telling me to abort. I am feeling I am making a big sin. But at same time I am worried as my husband Is saying he won't support me. I don't know what to do. If I abort I feel as though I won't get forgiveness from Allah swt. Plz reply back. I feel so down and burst into tears all day.

  11. Asalamalaikum..... Sisters how r u all?? Eid mubarak to all of u. Recently i am going through a very bad phase. I left my husband home due to some problem and came to parents house. I had a abortion and now i am going to have talaq. I am in great depression. All what is happening is out of my mind. Why it is all happening. Daily in prayers i ask for forgiveness from Allah. I cant sleep..i have done a big sin..i am not able to forget my baby....will Allah forget me. Due to all family fights between my husband family and my family i am sandwiched. I am totally blank..i want my good days back..i want my baby back...my husband back...

  12. I need some help about abortion

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