Is it allowed in Islam to kiss and share intimate dreams and moments with my fiancee
I was engaged to cousin of mine two years ago. It was arranged. She knew that I was interested in somebody else and since the beginning I tried very hard to make it work.
I gave gifts, paid visits and often called to inquire. She asked to me to show her a sign that I wasn't interested in the other person. In return, I kissed her hand twice. I want to know if it was right because I feel the guilt that I shouldn't have done that to her.
Since then our relationship has blossomed and now we share everything amongst us. My second question is that recently we started sharing our dreams as well.
Is it allowed in Islam to kiss the opposite partner while engaged and share intimate dreams and moments.
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salam brother
if i have to say in simple words theres nothing as such getting engaged in islam only marraige is a bond where u can kiss or share ur dreams she is not your wife yet so she is not in a relation with you
so please dont do such things have sabr
May Allah sho you the Right path
Salam Brother,
It depends what you understand by "engaged". In many countries like Iran or Lebanon the Nikkah
is read, and two people are engaged, but the civil marriage is much later. After my Nikkah, everybody
referred to my husband as fiancee , although he was Mahram, but the civil marriage and the wedding
feast hadn't taken place yet. You sleep in one room, and spend time together, but you still live
in your parent's house. Normally, you don't get physical, although in Islam, there's no problem with that.
But culture says you should wait until after the ceremony. So I don't know which country you are from,
but whatever you are doing, you have to be mahram. and have serious intentions to get married legally.
Salaam My Brother,
MashaAllah, your question indicates a very kind, warm and God fearing heart, and it seems as though Allah has blessed the two of you with loving and caring partners - how wonderful!
You should have no physical contact with each other before marriage. I understand that when things are going very well, we can get caught up in the moment and get carried away, which is why I would advise you to marry as soon as you can to avoid getting into problems. What you did, you did in innocence - as I can see that you are still not sure if it was right or wrong, however you still feel guilty. Now you know, so in future - do not attempt to make physical contact :0) Your repentance seems sincere, and Allah will see that.
To quote Wael on a seperate question on this site::http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/can-i-see-prospective-husband/
"Your meeting should not be in private, in other words it should not be just the two of you alone. You should meet in a public place with a chaperone, for example her parents.
You can talk about your ideas about life and your future, and your ideas about marriage, so you can find out if you are compatible for marriage and if you like each others' character.
Both parties must observe proper rules of Islamic hayaa and etiquette. That means controlling the gaze, not touching one another, and discussing only subjects that are "ma'roof", in other words nothing lewd or inappropriate."
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May Allah bestow many blessings on your intended marriage and fill your hearts with love and mercy for each other: And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
Peace,
Leyla
Editor, Islamic Answers
Assalamu alaykum
Quran 2:235 refer to it though it might be off, in your case and most cultures, it's the relevant behavior. And quran 2:165 especially.