Is it sinful to beg for help in my situation?
Assalammualaikum wa rahmatullah wabarakatuh
Briefly I describe my situation and hopefully speak in details to the person who can help.
I am an S.E Asian and lived in USA for 5 years after I got married. My husband earn small. My savings are all used up, especially when my husband lost his job and we moved to another state where he got the present job. I could not get a job, although I have tried. I don't drive (got license 2 years ago but lack of practice with own car, so a coward to drive now), could not afford to study (college/university). I cannot do any ambition because no money. Also I cry just about everyday that I cannot go to my original country because my husband only can afford pay bills (rent, utitilities, groceries). I have asked for help from many non-Muslim and Muslims but nobody cares. They only help refugees, third world countries, and non-profit organization.
I tried Islamic banking for $3,000 loan but they only offer $100,000 as minimum loan. Because I want to buy ticket as first priority, Muslims think I'm a terrorists, or they don't want to know me (they just about to tell me go jump over a bridge because they don't care!). I asked from Muslims to pay directly to school for courses I want to take, but they said they only help young people. I asked for a small used car, the charity organization said, "maybe" but never call me back again. I have emailed to Muslims foundation but never get any reply. I have sent letters to certain people but the assistants do not like it. I cry and sometime shout as I get angry as the staff do not care to listen to a begger for help. Is it sinful to beg for help in my situation? I don't want continue to be a loser,and cut off ties with my original country, I would rather die. The Qadar is that I married a poor man and so I don't have opportunities to succeed.
Aisha 2012.
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Dear sister,
As far as I see what you have written I can understand that you have financial problems but according to your statement above it seems as if your ambitions are more than your efforts.
Begging in my point of view is totally illegal and immoral as long as you are healthy and able to work. people face trade off with limited resources. either forgo your ambitions, or forgo begging. I would advice you to forgo begging.
If you can live and afford a living then forgo your ambitions and try to learn how to start saving till you could finally achieve your ambitions . and try best to stop looking for people to help you, Beg and bow towards Allah and Allah will certainly help you.
Be patient and once think about people who don't have food to eat. I believe if you continue trying to find a job, you will finally find one.
May Allah help you and grant mercy upon you.
Sayed Baheer Peerzada
Dear Sister,
I understand your frustration. Living paycheck to paycheck is very difficult, but you are fortunate that even though your husband makes little, he is able to put a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and pay the bills. That is a good thing, especially in these difficult economic times. I also understand that you want to go home to visit as you are probably very homesick after a 5 year absence. However, a plane ticket can be very expensive, and sometimes we must put our needs before our wants.
The fact that you are unable to receive help from many agencies is probably because your husband is able to meet your family's basic needs, so the agencies reserve their help for those in more dire circumstances.
You want to find a job, but you don't want to drive. Are there employment opportunities within walking distance from your home? Does your town have a public transit system?
Also, regarding school: I don't know what your status is immigration-wise, but if you are a green card holder you may qualify for help with educational costs from the federal government so go online and see if you qualify for FAFSA.
Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullah
Sister, I understand how you feel. Insha Allah, I'll tell you how you can overcome it.
Before going any further, I would like to remind you that we live in a World which is temporary. We will live here for only some years. Being ambitious is good, but if these ambitions cost your Aakhirah, it is not a good idea.
Infact, if a person gives in his Aakhirah which is Eternal, just for 30 years of his life achieve his ambition, and later gets no time, or dies before he gets any time, I think he is foolish.
If a person is on a journey from one country to another by a tourist vehicle, wishes to see places and take photographs on the way, will he do so at the cost of being left at that place by the vehicle, lost in the jungle?
Ambition is good, but if there is something more important, then I believe these ambitions should not destroy you.
Additionally, I fail to understand what is the requirement of extra money? Your husband pays bills, for groceries, etc. and hopefully takes care of you. If you need it for your daily need, then Alhamdulillah, but if it is for attaining your ambition and you can even do without it, then do you think it is required?
"And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things." (Quran: 65/2-3)
This life is short, but filled with trials and tribulations. So, be sufficed with what Allah Has Given, than wish for more and more. Because Allah Will give you what is due to you, even if you run away from it.
“He it is Who has made the earth subservient to you (i.e. easy for you to walk, to live and to do agriculture on it); so walk in the path thereof and eat of His provision. And to Him will be the Resurrection”
[al-Mulk 67:15]
According to a Hadith:
“The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from his failure to pray istikhaarah, and the misery of the son of Adam results from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him”
You married this man, because he was for you. If he is caring and loves you, then I do not think you should part from him. We have many instances from the lives of the Sahaabah, that they had nothing, yet they were contented. Why? Because they knew their Rizq was written by Allah, and they will get only that much, not more, and not less.
I heard a Hadith yesterday from my Shaikh that your Rizq will follow you, wherever you go (whatever has been written for you). Even if you run away from it, it will chase you. So, whatever you have, instead of complaining for having less, thank Allah and be contended with what you have, what He Has given you. There are million others, who have been given much less than you have been given. Look at them and thank Allah.
On the authority of Abu Abbas Sahl Bin Sa'ad Al-Sa'idi (R.A.A.) who said: 'A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and requested him: "Messenger of God (PBUH), tell me something by which I could win the love of The Almighty and the people." The Prophet told him, "Do not love the world, and The Almighty will love you; and do not have a longing for that which people have, and they will love you."' (Ibn-Majah)
Allah says:
“Who is he that can provide for you if He should withhold His provision?”
[al-Mulk 67:21]
Always say the dua in this Hadith narrated by al-Bukhaari (844) and Muslim (593) narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say after each prescribed prayer: “Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, lahu’l-mulk wa lahu’l-hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer, Allaahumma laa maani’ lima a’tayta wa laa mu’ti lima mana’ta wa la yanfa’ dhaa’l-jadd minka al-jadd (There is no god except Allaah alone with no partner or associate, His is the sovereignty and to Him be praise and He is able to do all things. O Allaah, none can withhold what You give and none can give what You withhold, and no wealth or majesty can benefit anyone for from You is all wealth and majesty).”
Ofcourse, it is right to wish for some more, but this should not go extreme. There is nothing wrong in wishing for something more of that is Halaal, as long as you or your husband can afford it. Otherwise, you should not let this wish take all your peace and tranquility away.
If something is out of your reach, is there a point in trying to get it at the cost of your relations? If your husband provides you and takes care of you, then I do not think you should consider going back to your country.
The World will not provide you, until that source has been written by Allah for you. So, rest assured. Whatever you are due for, no one can stop it from you. And we should aim at something which Allah Has Promised His believing slaves, which is al Jannah. You should look for ways to attain Allah's Pleasure and not complain for His Provisions.
Allah can provide equally to each and every Human Being. But He tests some by giving more, to see if they use it in a Halaal wa, and He tests some by giving less, to see if they still thank Him or they complain.
So, please do not despair. Trust in Allah and move ahead with what Allah Has given.
May Allah give peace and tranquility to your heart
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalaamu alikum,
Remember sister, sometimes the things we have made dua for have been given to us already we just don't see it. For example, a hungry person in Florida asking Allah for food. He doesn't know there are hundreds of wild edible plants that grow wild in Florida, and almost other every single state in USA. If the person didn't take the time to go to the library, and read about wild plants , he could not see that there is really no need to starve.
Same with people who want a career, but feel like they can't afford to go to school. I know someone that went to the library, and started learning about web design and made money from what he learned from reading library books and purchased books. A public library card is free. Education is free for those with initiative. A college degree may cost money , but an education is free. Go to library and look in the craft book area. Make some crafts, and sells them to local farmers market. I know a guy who found out how to buy rugs whole sale so he just sets up on the side of the road and sells them. I have seen with my own eyes him making money. Allah always provides, but we have to effect the causes. On a hot day sell lemon aid.
It's just like the hadith when The Messenger of Allah and a sahabah both got off their riding animals. The sahabah asked something to the effect of -should I tie it or put my trust in Allah? The Messenger Of Allah told him to do both. Sister make sure you tie your riding animal the best you can and put your trust in Allah.
Also visit the " One Stop Career Center" in your area and ask them about the "WIA" program. They will pay for most people to go to school for something as long as it's two years or less. You can even search for the website in your state. I hope that helps. I'm not sure if you are still in the USA , but even if you are not, the statement of scholars of old is true "whoever struggles finds".
In my humble opinion , one has to ask this question to himself/herself:
-- deserve before you desire.
From what I make out from your post that you financial situation is solvent. However, have you ever wondered what your situation would have been if your husband had failed to seek employment. I guess you should be filled with gratitude for your present.
-Tanfiru-- Go forward, march onward, be ready to strive and suffer .. Nobody is going to give you a car or a loan. You have to prove it that you deserve it .
I could suggest you one supplication from the holy Quran which might help in improving your financial situation:
Surah Al Tawbah (9) , Ayaaah 59
" Sufficent is Allah! Allah and his messenger will soon give us of his bounty : to Allah do we return our hopes"
totally agree 100%
Assalmualikum
u can ask for help in this situation from any good muslim
but dont ask help from non muslims becoz may be by helping u they
may take advantage and they may ask u to do something wrong
best think to ask for help is
instead of asking help from other peoples
y dont u pray 5 time a day and ask help direct from allaha
allaha is alone god in universe to help other so pray namaz and seek help from him