I fear I have lost myself here and hereafter
"And others have confessed their faults, they have mingled a good deed and an evil one; (perhaps) Allah will turn to them (mercifully); surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. Take alms out of their property, you would cleanse them and purify them thereby, and pray for them; surely your prayer is a relief to them; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing." Sura 9: 102 to 106
asalam u alikum... may allah bless u all. please help me..i am very much depressed..
i am 23 year old . i live in india.. all the problems began due to my outlook on life.. as a child i lost my mom when i was 10. afterwards, i never used to pray salah except jumma prayers.. we have a joint family and my father being a nice human being but he also uses to prays only occasionally.
i remember as a child when mom was alive even if i would accidently lie or do something wrong, i would at that moment ask allah for forgiveness... up to age of 16 OR 17 I USED TO PRAY occasionaly and fast 15 to 20 days a month.. all because family forced me that u r still young and examination preperations etc and honestly speaking i dint cared too much about deen and had a different outlook that first of all get set in life, enjoy and later i would fulfil every aspect of our deen..
AS I TURNED 18 i was overtaken by my desires, the desires of this attractive world,u know to get a nice degree,to stand up on your own and also support your family financially girlfriends if any for a smooth ride of life..all of my family and our relatives upto this day feels that i m most innocent and worthy boy in whole dynasty but nobody knows my secrets,the devil inside me which destroyed me....i remember it was ramadhan and i broke my fasts intentionally lot of times and would talk about sex to unknown girls on phone even in ramadhan i didnt fear cared or feared allah is overlooking at me.. after that i got myself admitted in one of the colleges to pursue a degree,the worst college i ever had witnessed..in my first year way back in 2009
i felt in a grave sin of forcination with a hindu girl..i never had intented or planned it,but how it happened i didnt know.to be honest i thought that what harm would a simple kiss or hug do to me and then it happend accidently .actually i was so away from islam and had no idea WHICH THINGS ARE PROHIBITED OR DIDNT KNEW THAT INTENDING SMALL SIN CAN LEAD U TO A BIGG SIN ..after falling into the sin i didnt bring it to my mind upto 3 years cause i felt i never planned IT NOR was willing to do it but i still feel it happened all of a sudden unplanned unintentional..meanwhile i felt bored from last 3 years in the place where im studying and used to watch porn and look sexually at the opposite sex.
i degraded myself and i hardly have any knowledge about my degree u know only passing marks..last year in 2011 ramadhan same girl called me to her place and we ended up being a bit physical[kissing,etc without forcination]..but i didnt cared as soon as i was hit by a calamity..i loved a girl way back 4 or 5 years she returned to my life this time around.initially i felt relaxed due to her coming back in my life and seemed as if we r made for each other..i never ever wanted be physical with her and i never did but we talked sexually non sence on phone a few times ansoon after we broke up because i feared we would end up doing something silly so i let her go..soon after she left.
all my pst flashed in my heart and infront of my eyes and i thought myself to be the worst muslim ever..since then i started praying 5 times a day,fasted 28 days this ramadhan..i weep in every prayer and weep atleast 3 -4 times a day..sometimes i have aboost in my imaan and sometimes i feel low and end up either by smoking..my family have high expectations on me but they dont know my problem..they still know im their innocent child..im here alone i miss my mom but she isnt alive i want to hug her so that i can feel a bit relieved..i fear grave,i fear standing infront of allah.ifear allahh..i fear prophet mohammad saw hadis that sins decrease your rizq..im going nowhere..please help me iwant to offer my missed salah..iwant to perform my missed fasts and i want to be a good muslim..ifear my future..
please i beg u nfor help,
Moon297.
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Hey u are not wrong in any way I was married for ten years I got beaten up nose broken bones broken in my body and lived with that fear for ten years I hve 3 kids and he used to accuse me of affairs and I was always honest with him but I took the courage to step out of the marriage even thou he gve me a talaq by mouth I could take any of it more it
But for my kids and mine sake I went away he made a lot of dramas for me pretend to my parents that he won't do it again but a person who starts beaten a woman up wil never change listen to your heart and your heart is always right insha Allah my prayers are with u all the Way Wat step u take
Assalamalekum,
Allah is merciful and you must not doubt that.ask for forgiveness till your last breathe.There is a hadeeth even if your sins are like a mountain it can be forgiven if you repent from your heart and dont repeat your sins.Just do what you are doing inshallah every thing will be fine.
With every prayer pray qaza for fasting keep fast every monday and thursday.thats what I do for my missed fast.
Jazakallah
Salamualaikum,
Brother, Allah Has Guided you, after you wronged yourself. You committed a huge sin. And you need to repent to Allah for it. For doing this, you need to leave this sin immediately (the sin of fornication and anything that leads to it, even if it be small, something which lead you to it), then you need to feel guilty about what you have done, and resolve never to repeat it in your life.
After having done this, concentrate on improving your Eemaan and your Islam. Try to achieve the highest level of faith which is Ihsan, which means that you Worship Allah, as though you see Him.
In the process, you will taste the delight of faith in sha Allah. You can being by correcting your Creed, your Aqeedah. The best books available for this purpose are:
1. Kitab at Tawhid: http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_books/single/en_Kitab_At-Tawheed.pdf
2. Usool ath Thalathah: http://abdurrahman.org/tawheed/the3fundprinciples.pdf
3. As Sirat al Mustaqeem: can be purchased from here:
http://abuhudzaifahhoney.blogspot.com/2010/10/right-way-sheikh-al-islam-ibn-taymiyyah.html?m=1
Or
http://store.dar-us-salam.com/product/031.html
In sha Allah, these will help you more than you can ever imagine. They will be your best friends in sha Allah.
Do Allah's Dhikr day and night from the Quran and the Sunnah. You can refer to the book of Duas called Hisn al Muslim or Fortress of the Muslim, which has hundreds of Duas from the Quran and the Sunnah, which can keep your tongue busy in Allah's Remembrance.
It is available here:
http://d1.islamhouse.com/data/en/ih_books/single/en_hisn_al-muslim.pdf
You should also note that abandoning prayers leads to Kufr as a Hadith mentions that the difference between a Muslim and Kufr and Shirk is the abandonment of prayers. So, guard all your daily prayers.
Another point I'd like to mention is that smoking is Haraam according to some major scholars.
All forms of smoking are kinds of
khabaa’ith (evil and unlawful things), and they include harmful and intoxicating substances. It is haraam to deal with it in any way, whether one inhales it, chews it or deals with it in any of its other forms. It is obligatory upon every Muslim to give up these things and to hasten to repent to Allaah, and to regret having committed this sin, and to resolve never to go back to it. May Allaah help us and you to do all that is good. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/442
So, keep far away from smoking. It will only kill you.
My brother, you have time to do Tawbah, until the Door of Allah's Forgiveness are open. And they always remain open, until you die or on the day or Judgement. So, hasten to do Tawbah.
Do not despair of Allah's Mercy, as Allah also says in Surah az Zumar, Aayah 53:
"O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)!
Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful
Allah is The Most Merciful. In Sha Allah, He Will Forgive you, as He Forgives every sin on Tawbah, if He Wishes so. Make use of the opportunity Allah Has Given you and have yourself purified.
Strive to become pious. And in Sha Allah, you'll succeed.
Your Rizq is something Allah Has already Destined. So, do not worry about it. Just concentrate on making your life full of Deen. The life is one life, which has the purpose of earning Allah's Pleasure through His Worship. If He is Pleased, what else does one want? Alhamdulillah, this is the best one can face.
Do you not wish to see the Face of your Lord Allah? You will need to Worship Him to your best in sha Allah and ask Him to make you of those great people who will get such a great chance. May Allah make me one of them, too.
I pray that Allah Helps you and He Guides you to what He Loves
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You can also read various books of Shaikh ibn Taymiyyah Rahmahullah from here:
http://shaykhulislaam.wordpress.com/multimedia/
And
http://www.kalamullah.com/ibn-taymiyyah.html
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor