My husband is diabetic
Diabetes symptoms.
Assalamwalikum
My question is my husband is diabetic since past 17 years. In our first years of marriage we made our babies but after 3-4 years we start having lots of issues in performing our sexual life and he never able to satisfy me and now its been so many years to have intercourse.
Sometimes when ever I make complaint he yells at me and ask me to take divorce I don't know how many time he asked me for that.
I don't want to separate because of my kids.
Please advice me what should I do?
Thanks
yas239
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Assalaamualaikam
I'd recommend that your husband speaks with his doctor about the difficulties you've both been having. Problems with sexual intercourse can occur in diabetes, but there are often ways to reduce these problems or find ways around them. It's important to make sure his diabetes is well controlled - as well as watching his diet and exercising regularly, it's likely that he'll need medication, and this needs to be monitored by a doctor who has experience in managing diabetes. If your husband is still having problems with sexual intercourse even once his diabetic control is good, then his doctor may be able to suggest additional treatments (injections, specialist implants, etc.).
As well as the mechanics of intercourse, it sounds like the two of you might benefit from rebuilding some of the compassion and intimacy that you may have lost. Spend time enjoying each other's company in non-sexual ways - maybe make one evening per week a "date night" and do something nice together - go out for dinner, stay in and talk, go to an exhibition or a talk... do anything halal that you like, so long as you're doing it together and communicating with each other. Learn to enjoy each other's company rather than preparing for the next argument. If need be, visit a Muslim marriage counsellor.
Your husband is likely quite embarrassed and upset about his problems with sex - sexual performance can be closely tied in to a man's sense of self-worth. So, when you complain to him about it, he may be interpreting this as a personal attack on him, which further damages his self-esteem and makes it even harder to feel close. Instead of making it a complaint, reassure him that you love him and want him to be healthy and happy, and suggest that he see his doctor about his diabetes so that he can stay well, because you love him and care for him. If the two of you are trying to have intercourse and things aren't happening, reassure him that it's ok - there are other ways the two of you can be close to each other.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
I agree with the above advice. And there are certainly lots of treatments available to help with performance. Discuss your options with the GP.