Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She calls her lover “husband”


If a married women (with 2 kids) starts seriously considering and calling her colleague/boy-friend (another married man with 2 kids), a husband and gets involved deeply to the extent that:

1. She starts deeply wishing to be his wife and waiting for good time when it becomes possible

2. Boy says that she would be his wife in heaven and love each other

3. Both chat extreme rubbish and describe/ do complete sexual acts with each other in messages

4. Both denies that they didn't do intercourse in actual and it was just chatting


1. Is the Nikah with her own husband remain valid if a women seriously starts believing other man her husband? If Nikah is invalid (batil or Fasiq), is it possible to do it again?

2. If they were physically involved to some extent but didn't do intercourse, should her husband forgive her or what punishment can he give?

Please suggest.


Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

8 Responses »

  1. It is totally wrong. Both of them are cheating their spouse. It is haram. It is a sin that both of them should stop. If they love each other to that extent i think they should get married as soon as possible. Cheating your partner and doing wrong will hurt everyone including children.
    They both must do taubah for this Act. ALLAH is most merciful and he knows everything. If still they think they cant control themselves they must find a halal way and that is nikah.

  2. It is haraam and there is strict punishment for breaking Allah's rules ...they both are blot to be called as Muslims

  3. OP: Both chat extreme rubbish and describe/ do complete sexual acts with each other in messages

    They are having virtual sex in place of real sex that is missing in their real lives. Most likely this relationship will go no where. What about b/f wife? How much she knows about this?

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    From a legal perspective, she can call this other guy "husband" all she wants, but her actual husband will remain the man to whom she is married. Calling someone by a word doesn't give them the legal status.

    Whether or not her husband wishes to stay with her, however, is a different matter. If he wishes to try to salvage their marriage, she will need to commit to breaking off all contact with this other guy and to rebuilding their relationship. I'd be concerned that, from what you've written, it doesn't sound like she's sorry or regrets what's happening. Before making any big decision, her husband should pray istikhara and trust that Allah knows best.

    As for punishment, there are punishments set out in sharia law, but these also have stringent pre-requisites and are almost never used - the law should not be taken into one's own hands, either. It would be better for him if he can forgive her, and either try to accept her back and work on their marriage, or (if this is not possible) end their relationship and move forward with his own life.

    Midnightmoon editor

  5. how can she call hi her husband, if she is not married to him and married to other guy who she doesn't consider her husband? she is cheating her actual husband and cheating herself and will surely not go to heaven for this

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Be careful in your choice of words. Only Allah knows who will be granted Jannah, and we shouldn't make our own assumptions about this.

      Midnightmoon editor

  6. Can smbidy tell me with authentic reply tht if wife calls her husband as baba makes her relation haram.coz my husban heard in aome khutba tht calling husband by the name baba mama makes relation haram.nw v r so mch wilorried.i hav two kids olz help

    • There is nothing like this in Islam. There is no harm in husband and wife calling each other by "pet names" or nicknames. Nothing invalidates or "breaks" a marriage except for divorce (i.e. talaq or khul'ah).

      Wael Editor

Leave a Response