Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wife’s Extra Marital Affair

woman talking to someone on phone

Salam Everyone,

I am a married boy for more than 5 years and I had a baby girl of 3.5 years. Me and my wife work in same company and recently I have received evident that she is having a over phone affair with her boss for about 9 months. For last few months my doubts was growing but while I investigated she told me lies which I believed as well. Now after the final proof I requested her to confess everything and after a several incidence she confessed keeping her hand on Quran "That they had over phone affairs and they didn't go out and haven't touched each other, moreover the relationship was over phone and they have talked 5-6 times on the office face to face". Now for my daughter sake I am trying to forgive her but inside my mind I can't forget the things and I was thinking she could be lying as well because if anything physical I will just divorce her. She has resigned from the job and I believe repented.

Although I am trying to forget but while I am facing her lover and boss, I am almost losing my mind. Couple of times thought about suicide or kill her. I may divorce her but then my daughter life will be ruined.

I am out of hope, please help me out what to do , should I divorce her or forgive her.

ahmedrasel

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6 Responses »

  1. Bismillah
    May Allah give you the strength to get through this my brother. Please don't do anything drastic. Allah doesn't give you any test that you don't have the strength to pass. The moment you give up is the moment the shaitan wins

  2. It's easy said than done but suicide and or murder are completely insane haraam acts so avoid these. U must forgive her. Think of the many sins we comit yet Allah forgives us and continues to provide for us. So y can't we forgive. She made a mistake. Get a grip and man up and get over it. We all make mistakes. We were created in such a way that We are going to make mistakes.

    • "U must forgive her."

      "She made a mistake. Get a grip and man up and get over it."

      You're an unsympathetic and cold-hearted person. If your husband (if you're married) ever cheats on you or does something to completely ruin your life then I hope someone tells you to stop being a baby, man up and get over it.

  3. I think yiu should believe her and say her i give you one chancr change your life and become an honest wife and mothet if she agree with you then its good and not destroy your home for the sake of your daughter and you should resign in this way you can be able to calm down yourself and forgot thisbsituation if you continue your job you cannot able to forgot.

  4. If mentally you are not able to handle it and thoughts like suicide and killing are taking your mind then i think its better you divorce her .A divorce is far better than suicide or killing .Your daughter will be fine. Dont worry .

  5. As Salamu Alaykum.
    The thing is,it is bad what she have done but if she was only have with him a affair on Phone,try to forgive her ,but if she do it again,than of course its better to give her a Divorce.What she have done is a kind of Zina but not the Major Zina(Sexual Intercourse.)

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5889; Muslim, 2657.

    That is about Suicide

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be throwing himself down in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron will have that iron in his hand, thrusting it into his belly in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5442) and Muslim (109),

    It was narrated from Thaabit ibn Dahhaak (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever kills himself with something will be punished with it on the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5700) and Muslim (110).

    It was narrated that Jundub ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man among those who came before you was wounded. He panicked and took a knife and cut his hand, and the bleeding did not stop until he died. Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, said: ‘My slave hastened his death; I have forbidden Paradise to him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3276) and Muslim (113).

    So please pray to Allah that he will save you from wrong doing and that he will help you in your relationship with your Wife.
    Insha Allah all will be fine.

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