My husband is living like a bachelor!
Assalamalekum.
I have been married two years. I had a love marriage. Inital few months were good but then problems started settling in. My husband started giving me less priority over other things. It was like he got married but he was living like a bachelor. Whenever I advised him to try to be my companion and do things as a couple he always refuses. He separated our rooms. He sleeps in another room. He refuses me intimacy because he's upset since I fought with him regarding his sleeping in another room. We only get intimate once in a month or 2 months only if I go to him. He has even told me there is no hope from his side - he can't change things. I have tried to take all the efforts to make things work but he's not interested. Should I ask for divorce?
Angelstar200
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Call what ever you like.Those who do live life outside the fold of Islam like, disobedience or breaking the commandments of Allah living a sad mad and just be bad.This is called a unblessed marriage curse etc..This is why the whole muslim world is going towards there destruction.....!!!Yes theres hope only if hes man enough to repent ask forgiveness because in Islam it is his duty to maintain you and take care of you love you provide food shelter clothing and being an example to his yet to come children.If he can not fullfill these obligations then you have nothing to loose because your not dead yet soooo do what you think is best!!.My advice is build your Iman and perfect your salah ask forgiviness daily help the poor and give charity regularely read quran and keep on learning deeni knowledge until your time is up.At the same time you need to be worldly educated so you can be independant and use your wealth to help muslims and build unity....this is what Islams about. Being the best humanbeing.And the best role model is prophet Muhammad .If we look in his life Allah made him perfect in all walks of life so follow his method and you will reach to your ultimate goal????Janahtul firdous.
Aslaamualikum
@damco300764
First of all, sorry if im being rude but in my opinion u've been very rude and not very helpfull to this sister asking for help.. Why do u think her marriage has been cursed??? Just becaz her marriage was a love marriege?? Well i dont think loving somone before marrieg is haraam in islam as long as u dont cross the limits and make it halal as soon as possible.. Here in this sister's post i dont see anything mentioning about them being phsicaly intimated or corssing their limits before marriage then how come u just judged her and told her u've been disobing allah and now ur marriage has been cursed???????? Just becaz she had a love marriege dosnt mean she dosnt have the right to be happy in her marriage.. If this post was done by a sister who would say it was an arrenge marriage instead of love marrieg then im 100% sure u wud advised her that allah is testing u, try to be patient. I feel sorry to hear wht ur going through etc etc.. And im sure u wud advise her sumthing which cud help her solve this problam. But to this sister u've been rude and judge her which is totaly not ur job to do. Love marriage is not haraam in isalm but under certain conditions!!!! So next time try to be carefull when u hear sumone saying i had a love marriage.
@OP
Sister first of all i think u should sit with him and talk to him calmly why hes doing like this? Is he stressed unhappy about somthing or is it somthing alse? Try to find the root of this problam.. Dont get angry with him and dont argue with him. Try to be patient with him as much as u can. Go to marriage counseling and see how things are going after that. If he wants to be alone in his room for somtime then let him be. But if he want to be alone in his room forver then thats not normal.. Also like the brother said try to work on ur deen too. Make lots of duas ask allah to guid him and make things easy for u. Dont leave ur namaz ricite quran etc etc. Try to get closer to allah as much as u can. When u have allah u dont need anyone alse to help u.. If all these things didnt work then decision is urs. To stay or leave.. But plz dont give up before trying evrything. May allah reward u give u patient to go through all ur hardships..
Aa sister,
My advice is from my own sad experience. Try talking to him. If this doesn't work - leave and don't look back. Start anew while there is time and little to lose. It's going to be a lost case - biggest one of your and possibly future childrens' if you stay.
Pray to Allah for guidance and stay on the right path.
Ws
If it were me, I would just ignore him. Men don't really like to talk much and women think too much. I could be wrong but that's what I think...plus you've already tried talking.
I'd ignore him and get your own life. Get a hobby. Don't focus so much on this problem, don't wait up for him, don't talk to him. Then focus all your energy on your worship and dua and Islamic study and fast, coz you might have a lot of lonely nights my girl.
If it doesn't accomplish anything after some time then see a counselor. If this doesn't work then I'd take it to divorce. I don't think your marriage is cursed I think this is a big test for you. In the end of the day Allah swt wants you to remember Him. Nothing in this world is yours to keep for good. Allah swt wants you to make Him your priority, above your husband.
Thank you for ur kind comments. We r trying to work on it because he doesnt want a divorce neither do i. But its his lifestyle which i cant change. Hes very adamant about that. I feel m lonely evn after being married more so because i dont have children. I have told him this many times. He just says he cannot sit and entertain me all the time and i should understand him. And he refuses to have children now. Its almost 3 years . Any advice on how to deal with such a person.