I have autism social phobia and I want to die

Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse
asalamuaaikum brother and sister
i have a really mestup life. i have a mental illness called autism social phobia and depression wich i think i got from my father.
i have been abused by my father since i was 8. he abused me both mentally and physically. i never had any friends and i am ugly too. been bullied in school. i tried to talk to other relatives about it but they never did anything. i think he is sick.
i told the social services about it and they gave me somewhere to live alhamdulilah. but i could not because i got lonely. i did not leave my room there because i did not know where to go. so i went back. but guess what, nothing changed. now i am in my bed on my computer all day. it feels like i am in a prison in my head with all the negativity. so i wonder why this is?
i cant go on any longer. i am mentally disabled to do something about the situation and socially inept. i do not know what to do. i am a coward. i am seeing no way out of this than suicide.
sorry for my bad english.
-mohammed23
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Tagged as: abusive father, autism social phobia, emotional abuse, physical abuse, Thinking of Suicide
Salaams Mohammed23,
I know it seems to be the end of options for you ans you're really struggling with life at the moment but i promise you life gets so much better. The fact that you have even ventured out of living home has proven your bravery. Do not put your self down. I truly believe Allah gives the most difficult test in life to this toughest soldiers. Think of your blessing and do not think of suicide. Put some more trust in Allah and you will find easy. Im sorry if i cant help you beyond this point.
Xxx
Salam Mohammad23,
You have to continue to be brave dear.Sucide is not an answer. You might escape this world but there’s hereafter live for that.. Allah has promised that after difficult come ease ..so wait for it things will change. Hope you do Salah, if not start even just once a day with intention to please Allah.if you can spare give give Sadqa whatever you can.
I don’t know if you have your mum with you if you are blessed with one then please spend time with her just do little things with her or for her. Like ask if she needs anything from the shop or water to drink she might give you doa in return and mothers Doa reaches the arsh. you will find it comforting..Get involved in something only you can help yourself, you have started by writing here.
Start responding to replies this could be the begening of socialising. try doing zikeR the best one is Ist kalmaH
LAaILAHa ILALLAH at 10 min a day
Ask social worker to organising some councilling ..look after yourself and your loved one mother/siblings.
Forgive your father for abusing you in the past as you say he is a sick man get help for him.if you can social worker can intervien if he is still abusive. Don’t let anyone abuse you, it may not be easy.but you have to start saying no to abuse.walk out of mental abuse too.
Do you have any mosque/ library near by go there regularly spend time volunteering there or any where..
Make a “To Do List’every day and see what can be done..
Take one day at a time Insha Allah al you will come out of it.
Remember Allah is there watching you Allah knows how you feel. Allah is most kind. It’s Allahs test deal with it positively, if good days don’t last bad time won’t either... read or even listen Quran you will find tranquility in it inshAllah.
I find Surah RehmanN and Surah Muzzamil quite soothing.
Not sure if anything I say make sense to you..
May Almighty Allah make it easy for you. Allahs blessings with you.
Brother Salam. Let me start of by telling you facts. Number 1, this self pitty act won't get you far nobody is gonna care so just drop it and take action. The problem is clearly evident you said you stay in your room a lot with your computer and you even went ahead and compared it to a prison. So .. The most logical thing to do would be get out the house go around explore areas and make effort to talk to people such as at the mosque instead of staying in your bedroom in the dark feeding your head with toxic stuff from the Internet. You need to man up and take care of yourself If you don't care about yourself then how do you expect someone to help you. You have 2 options either get a job and build your social skills or go to mosque lectures and engage with people. Stop thinking negative when it doesn't need to be like that
Assalaamualaykum Brother Mohammed,
You write: " i am mentally disabled to do something about the situation"
To say you are disabled is a heavy statement, and not one that should be taken lightly. I am going to take it very literally.
Remember this...even the most disabled can offer something to the world. Don't think for a second that you are not important, not worthy of great things, not deserving of the very best. You are not a "coward," nor are you "ugly." You are a handsome, talented soul that Allah has placed upon this earth for its very benefit.
For example, you are able to write. You are able to use computer technology. You are able to stand up for your human rights, even as a dependent. Not everyone would have the strength to leave their abusive family, but Allah has given you this ability...this ability to distinguish right from wrong and recognize that you are being oppressed. There are indeed people that have been so brainwashed by their abuser that they don't even know that they are mistreated, so your faith in Allah has brought you quite far. You are close to Allah, and there is nothing better in this world!
Are you on social media? That might be an easier way for you to start socializing. Join some groups on Facebook that relate to something you are interested in: cars, motivational quotes, science, anything. Give your opinions about others' posts. Just communicating more with people online will help you build confidence. Perhaps when you are comfortable doing that, you will also find it easier to talk to the cashier at the grocery store, say "hello" to someone you pass by on the street, or mingle with commuters at a bus stop.
Also, are you seeing a doctor for your social anxiety and depression? These are treatable illnesses. Do not hold yourself to the unattainable goal of "thinking positive" when you have a mental illness. It is not possible. You need to find a good doctor who can give you medications for your illnesses, and you need to stick with those in addition to doing the other things I mentioned.
Try to read your Salah and make dua to Allah to guide you. As someone else mentioned, try one prayer a day to start.You will not be disappointed in the outcome, even if it takes awhile. Remember, if you have not been praying, you can't expect immediate help right away, but over time, you will see the benefit.
Now rest easy brother. Give yourself a break and something good to eat. You have been through a lot in life and are a survivor. You will continue to survive, even thrive with the help of your Creator.
May Allah heal your pain, ameen.
Nor
Assalamu alaykum
1) Autism is not a mental illness.
It is a different neurotype (a different type of neurological functioning).
My son and I are both autistic and I view it as a blessing from Allah.
It seems that many important people throughout history may have been on the spectrum.
E.g. Isaac Newton, Einstein, Bill Gates.
And who knows who else...
2) Depression and anxiety are mental illness, and you should seek help in sha Allah.
Do you have anyone in your life that you can turn to?
3) As hard and painful as things may be, you have the strength to overcome it.
The Qu'ran states
"Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear" (2:286).
May Allah give you the strength to overcome your difficulties in sha Allah. And may He provide you with the help and support you need.
Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakathuh, I could understand you , don’t worry try this therapy it really works
https://therapy.anxietynetwork.com/courses/302950/lectures/4771052
Jazaka Allah khairah