Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can we do secret Nikah?

I am a girl of 17 and i love a boy who also truly loves me. He is 15. We have been together alone for a few times and have commited great sins for which we both repent and seek forgiveness from Allah. We can not leave eachother also we do not want to dp anything wrong. Our families know that we love eachother. Onlyy father is still unaware of this. My mother disapproves of him strongly where there is no problem in him at all. He belongs to a respectable syed family and is a.good person. Even if i asky parents to marry me to him as it is completely all.right islamiclly as we both are baligh now they will never agree due to worldly and social trends. So as we dont want to make our relation illicit and wrong we have decided to do nikkah sectretly. My question is;
Is it peissible for us to do nikkah secretly in this situation?
And can nikah be held without the permission of our parents?

anne.nr

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1 Responses »

  1. Salamalaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathu.

    Marriage must be witnessed or announced openly, but you want it to be a secret marriage that no one knows about. A secret marriage that is not witnessed or announced openly is also an invalid marriage. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

    As for getting married in secret, in which the parties agree to conceal it and not bring anyone to be witness to it, this is invalid according to most scholars, and it comes under the heading of illegal sexual intercourse. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property, desiring chastity, not committing illegal sexual intercourse”

    [an-Nisa’ 4:24].

    First of all, it should be clear that marriage in Islam is a solemn contract for which the Shari`ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability.

    The minimum conditions for the validity of nikah are the following:

    The consent of the guardian of the woman
    Presence of witnesses
    Offering and acceptance
    and Mahr (dower).

    Once the above conditions have been fulfilled, the marriage will be deemed as valid; but if these conditions are not fulfilled, then it will be considered as being null and void.

    As far as the consent of guardian is concerned, it can only be dispensed with if the guardian is simply refusing to give consent for considerations other than Islamic, in which case the judge can authorize the marriage after having followed the due process. If, on the other hand, such is not the case and no attempt was made to ascertain the consent of the guardian, then such a marriage would be considered invalid and, therefore, unacceptable in Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "There is no (valid) marriage without a guardian and two reliable witnesses."

    By stipulating the above-mentioned conditions for the validity of marriage, Islam insists that a marriage should remain distinct from other loose and immoral lifestyles such as fornication and illicit affairs. Hence, the Prophet insisted on making marriages public.

    Society has a share in marriage in the sense that people should know that both of you are married so that they do not suspect you of maintaining an illicit relationship. According to the teachings of Islam, we are under obligation to do whatever we can to safeguard our religion, honor, and dignity; and as such we should stay away not only from that which is considered as strictly haram or forbidden but also from all that is doubtful and dubious. The Prophet (peace and blessings be him) said, "Whosoever shuns what is doubtful he has protected his religion and honor; but whosoever commits what is doubtful, he may inadvertently fall into haram!"

    If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path!

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