Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Frightened and despairing over my sins

mercy forgiveness repentance tawbah

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I am a girl who has just turned 14, and I am really scared and worried. I have once asked this question on the comments section of a random post, and Alhamdulillah I did receive some answers, but I want ongoing advice so I have decided to post my own question.

My question is, Can blasphemy be forgiven? I know this is a very abominable and heinous sin, and I am despairing from Allah's mercy knowing what the worldly punishment is. I really hope you can help me. I am very distressed, and alarmed. I do not know what to do. The phrases I mumbled were really explicit and inappropriate about my Lord. I don't know why I did it. I guess every time such a thought popped into my head, I'd just say it out loud, for no good reason...but I did it on purpose. I don't think Allah can forgive me. I do not know what to do. I am really scared. I really hope you can help me. I don't think Allah can forgive such a sin. I'm literally doomed. I've mumbled extremely bad things, so very inappropriate and sexual in nature. I will never enter Jannah. I am a kaafira and a hypocrite. It's so terribly frightening. Allah cannot forgive such a sin. I know you guys are probably sick of me, I've posted here before asking for help for some other sins I do/used to do. I am really thankful everyone helped me, but now I feel bad because I have even more sins. I don't know what to do. I am probably the worst person here. I've seen these other posts, I have done far worse than all the others. Sure, people have done other sins, but no one has done what I have done. I am pretty sure I'm the worst one here!!

My life has been a living hell, I am so depressed and cry easily now. Out of being so upset over my sins and depressed, I began to go back to self-harm, a practice I used to do years ago. The reason I stopped was because my sister found out and freaked out, and I told her "Wallah I won't do it again!", that was 2 years ago and now I'm back to it. I broke an oath I swore by Allah! Just another major sin piled up on my book of deeds... (see, I told you I'm the worst one here...!) 

I cannot believe what I have done. Why did I do it? I don't know why I did it! Because of this, I can't seem to concentrate on anything. The anxiety is driving me crazy, I think I will go insane ! I get nightmares now. For the past few nights, I'd wake up shaking and almost crying because of these scary dreams. I know that Allah must be punishing me for what I have done. I can only imagine what is to become of my akhirah. I am so fearful of His wrath. I can't believe what I did...it is undoubtedly an abhorrent thing one could do. I really need your help. Please don't be hard on me. I have so much anxiety, I can't even concentrate in school, and it's starting to effect my studies 🙁  I don't know why I did it. I do other very haram things like lying, masturbation, rushing salaat, disrespecting my parents... the list goes on. I am such a bad person. Alhamdulillah, the masturbation problem is getting MUCH better, I took other people's advice for it which I had received when I posted about it before. It still happens once in a while, so I am really trying to completely end it. But my life is literally sin. I sin so much. I feel worse than Phir'oun, because although he was misguided, he was a kafir to begin with, so he had a chance to repent and mend his ways. I was born a muslim, but committed acts that render me out of islam, which is the worst form of kufr. I feel so disgusted with myself. I want to repent, but my main concerns are:

  1. What if I die before I can sincerely repent? What if Allah (swt) takes my soul tonight, or tomorrow?
  2. This sin is probably unforgivable, whether the sinner repents from it or not. I said REALLY REALLY bad things.

I know I am a very bad person, and I deserve this hell, but I just wish that there is maybe another chance I can get from Allah(swt), to prove myself. Please don't be hard on me. I said really filthy things that I won't even type here... I am in complete despair. I know Allah(swt) is very angry with me. I want to make tawbah, but I have so much anxiety and fear that this sin cannot be forgiven, except with the hadd punishment. I know I did a major sin, I am an apostate, I deserve death..... Aren't apostates supposed to be killed??! I am unsure of what to do now. I really hope you can give me some answers..... I am welcoming to any answers from everyone who is willing to help, but I also would specifically like answers from the Editors as well, because I also want professional scholarly advice.

I really need help. I see the signs of the Day of Judgement's approach happening everyday. I worry that I will not be able to stop this sin before the major signs appear and the doors of repentance are closed. I just can't stop saying these phrases, it's such a bad habit. I want to stop this sin, forever. I really need to know what to do, is blasphemy forgivable??I know it's up to Allah to decide whether to forgive or not, but is there at least hope? Or is jahannam guaranteed here??? Please, everyone that reads this... make du'a' that Allah makes His punishments easy on me in the hellfire.

This is very frightening.

muslima01

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65 Responses »

  1. As-salamu Alaykum, Sister,
    I responded to you in the comments section a few days ago, but I did not realize that you were 14 years old. My understanding from your previous comment was that you are saying blasphemous statements involuntarily (you feel like you can't help it), yet you know what you are doing is wrong. In my comment to you, I mentioned "coprolalia," which is something like a tic that causes one to say bad or profane things without meaning to (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolalia).

    In reality, coprolalia is not a very common condition, but I did mention it to show you that sometimes people say bad things for reasons that are out of their control. Another condition that sometimes causes people to do this (and obsess over it) is OCD. These are both neurological issues, and OCD in particular can cause a lot of anxiety for the person who suffers from it. The good news is that things like OCD and anxiety can often be treated with medication and other types of professional help.

    This forum is not, however, the place to speculate about what the cause for your problem might be, and I have only written the above partially for the sake of others who see themselves in a similar situation.

    You alone know whether you have control over the issue. If you feel that you cannot stop yourself from saying bad or profane things, the problem needs professional medical attention. Please speak to your parents about this issue, and if they will not listen or do not understand, speak to someone who does, whether it is a trusted relative, a teacher, a school counselor, a school nurse, etc.

    If, on the other hand, this problem happened in the past, then leave the past in the past, and resolve not to repeat the blasphemous statements. If you feel that you are able to control the problem, then continue to control it and change your way of speaking by replacing the bad words and thoughts with good words and thoughts. Train yourself to do this, and pretty soon it will become a regular habit.

    If you're still experiencing anxiety despite having control over your language and thoughts, then you should seek out immediate counseling with a professional who can help you sort through any remaining issues. I know it can be hard for someone in their teens to request counseling or professional help, but you have to be strong and speak to a trusted adult. Write down your thoughts if necessary (instead of speaking directly), but do not allow yourself to continue suffering like this on your own. I am sure that your parents want the best for you and would, Insha'Allah, do anything possible to help you overcome this problem.

    I wish the best for you as a sister in faith and would be really happy if you came back to report any new developments.

    • Salams-
      I just now saw your comment on the other post. Thank you for answering me.
      Yes, it's true that I had not been able to control myself - at the time, at least. That day my waswasas(satanic whispers) had been particularly severe and I kept on mumbling out the thoughts when I thought of them. I was really distressed so I just wrote that comment.
      But now, the reason I wrote this post is because now, I still said some of the stuff out loud although I had been able to control myself 🙁
      I said them on purpose, thats why I turned to this site for help.

      ~muslima01

      • Dear daughter Assalam O Alaikum

        The advice of Amel is very much logical and practical. It is curable with the help of proper therapy. Allah Subhana Wa taala is very merciful greater than our imaginations. Hadith Qudsi is that "When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My mercy prevails over my wrath".

        I suggest you that instead of letting more psychological complications in your mind you should immediate consult some appropriate therapist.

        Wassalam wa rehmatullah wo barakat

        • I don't think this is the kind of thing that needs a therapist. Sometimes I said the stuff on purpose, although I had full control over what I said. That is why I am so extremely worried, and that is why I wrote this post.
          Jazaakumullahu Khayran

          • Dear Daughter.

            Once a person came to Prophet Sal Allah ho Elehe Walssam said “Allah will pardon your sin even if it is greater than the earth and all that is contained in it!” The frightening and repentance is good for correction of bad deed but if this fear takes you over and derails from your normal life then I would say that shaitan is frightening you more.

            When ever we commit a sin we commit on purpose. You are not completely adult you are a child so still innocent. I therefore suggest you forget all what happened and live the life of your age. Try to live the life according to Islam and saying of Prophet (pbuh). Every one of us have done many mistakes in our lives probably severer than yours. Allah swt has already blessed you by giving you the control to stop such things so His mercies have started because if someone stops doing sin that means Allah has accepted his repentance and request of forgiveness.

            A true repentance and seeking forgiveness is what required but do not get into obsession that you have done something unforgivable. If you still live with this obsession and fraught you need to go to the doctor immediately.

  2. Dear daughter.

    First question is do you still get into the situation of saying statements of blasphemy or you are out of this condition. If you have controlled your condition then situation is altogether different. This means that Allah swt has got you out of that situation.

    • I have (sort of) gotten control of the whole uncontrollable speech situation, but I said some of them on purpose. I really need help as to what I should do...? 🙁 I'm getting really panicky

      • Salam Sister,
        If you've been suffering from this problem for a while, it is time to try something new. A doctor or therapist can, Insha'Allah, help you control this feeling of panic, but you have to be strong and ask for help.

  3. Also, what do I have to do to be muslim again? I am 99.9% sure what I did makes me an apostate, and I want to come back to islam again. For this kind of sin, all I have to do is repeat my shahadah again, right? Is there anything else I need to do to expiate, like is an apostate required to do a certain deed to be officially considered a muslim again?

  4. Dear Sister,

    I really dont understand whats your problem is? Have you ever associated anyone as God than Allah? Have you ever said tha t there are two Gods or Allah?

    Do you know the definition of Shirk? Shirk is associating someone as God other than Allah.

    OK Even if you feel you did kaafir, Just say Shahadath Kalima and .... Have though Allah is angry on you?? Allah is not like fellow humans. Allah dont have the attributions of humans. You thought He is like a school teacher or Manager to become angry out of ego? No. Here comes his words..

    Sura Zumar. Verse 53, "Say, My servants who have harmed yourselves by your own excess, do not despair of Allahs mercy. Allah forgives all sins: He is truely the most forgiving the most merciful".

    Sura Ala Imran Verse 135, "those who remember Allah and implore forgiveness for thier sins if they do something shameful or wrong themeselves - who forgives sins but Allah?..."

    Allah loves you more than any pious person when you repent to him. Never say Allah will not forgive you. Allah knows you are a weak creation.

    Finally, if you conduct a survey about "When a man has become more closer to Allah in his life?" No one will say 'when I got my first salary', no one will say 'when I got mu baby' Instead people will say when i got into troubles in life. Hence, it is a golden opportunity to you to become close to Allah. You already met 3 of the conditions of repentance sister. You admitted your mistake, determined not to repeat the mistake and you have given up the sin as well. Now just go and speak to Allah midnight and ensure you are forgiven.

    Perform salah time to time and prolong your sajada. Increase dhikrs and duroodh. May Allah protect our eeman sister. Always pray "Allahumma ya mukhallibal Quloob sabbith qulooba na alaa deenik"

    Signs of accepted repentance:
    1. Allah will change your life. You will become more religious and pious in life.
    2. You will not go back to same old sin. You will not find pleasure in those sins.

    May Allah protect us. Sister please change yourself. If you become close to Allah I will not have a better deed to my rescue on the day of judgement.

    Pray for me to die with eeman.

    • Jazaakumullahu khayran. I have not done literal shirk, like attributing partners to Allah, but I have for sure done something that considers me an apostate(blasphemy issue).
      See I had really disturbing thoughts about Allah(swt), really inappropriate like I mentioned in the post. These were terrible thoughts like s*x, be*stiality, r*pe, etc.... They were really bad. I know it makes me not a Muslim anymore cuz I said these thoughts out loud. I really want to repent the right way. I know I have not done actual shirk since I have believed and STILL believe in one Allah(swt), but I said stuff that makes me an apostate, right?

  5. can someone plz answer ... ?

    • Asalam O alaikum

      Dear Sister,

      Whatever the sin is, if you are really guilty and want to repent then repent with the sincere heart. ALLAH loves 70 times more than a mother so He will accept your repentance.

      Pray, repent, make your life better and don not do that mistake again. You'll find peace INSHAA ALLAH. Where else will you go except ALLAH so just repent and feel guilty with sincere heart.

      Pray for everyone. May ALLAH Bless and forgive you.

  6. I don't understand why everyone's ignoring me here...

  7. Dear sis muslima01,
    The fact that you are only 14 and worried about your sins is itself magnificent step.Allah is the most forgiving. Just repent with sincerity, not matter what sins.I would also advise you to get attached to your local mosques for expanding your knowledge. If you have questions , just reach out to an understanding imaam in your locality. They will help you. Don't overburden yourself with guilt.

    • So this can be forgiven even though I said them on purpose and deliberately, not because of being overwhelmed by waswasa?

      • Sister, you're just asking the same question again and again. Please trust the answers you have been given. Anytime you make a mistake or commit a sin, make sincere tawbah and Allah will forgive you.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • I read online that some scholars think this cannot be forgiven except when the person is executed. Is this true because I live in the west so there are no islamic governments here so I don't really know what I shall do.

          • Assalaamualaikam

            The short answer is: No, that's not true.

            You've had some thoughts and said some things you aren't proud of - so make tawbah and take steps to become more like the person you want to be. This isn't something to get so scared and preoccupied about.

            Islamic law is a complicated subject, and people spend years studying it. So, don't believe everything you read online. Islam emphasises peace and mercy. I'd suggest that you read our articles on tawbah and repentance, and reflect on the many proofs of Allah's Mercy. Read the answers you've already been given, as people have given good advice and reassurance.

            Sometimes, we can get so preoccupied with a worry that it's difficult to keep perspective about it. In these situations, it can help to speak in person with someone we trust. I'd suggest that you try to talk with an adult you trust - maybe your mother or a trusted teacher - and tell them how worried you are and that you've read things online that have made you more worried. InshaAllah, they'll know how to help you further as well.

            Remember that Allah is Most Merciful. If you make a mistake or commit a sin, make sincere tawbah and trust that Allah will forgive you, as He has promised.

            Midnightmoon
            IslamicAnswers.com editor

  8. Jazaakumullahu Khayran for the answers. One more question: Is it true that Allah(swt) can only forgive shirk done max. 3 times? So after a person apostatizes 3 times, it is their very last chance to repent? Or this is not true? I forget where I heard this but I think it might actually be an ayah in the Quran.

  9. Oh I found the ayah here it is:

    “Verily, those who believe, then disbelieve, then believe (again), and (again) disbelieve, and go on increasing in disbelief; Allaah will not forgive them, nor guide them on the (right) way” [al-Nisaa’ 4:137]

    • And my question applies to this particular form of shirk, where someone purposefully reviles/blasphemes their lord.

      • As-salamu Alaykum, Sister,
        I am sure there may be different ways to read or interpret that verse of the Qur'an, but the point is not that someone believed/disbelieved one time or three (or any other number). The tafseer I have at home says it refers to people who continuously go back and forth in their belief, especially when it is "convenient" for them. Whatever the case is, you should stay away from websites like the one you mentioned. You do not need to "punish" yourself for whatever happened in the past. You just need to move forward and live according to the values you aspire to live by. If you are still feeling worried, or feel that you cannot control your thoughts or words, then it would be better to seek out help as suggested above.

        • I don't see why everyone refers to it as uncontrollable speech. Brother, the waswasas and uncontrollable thoughts went away. What I have been saying is 100% under my control, and I have been saying them on purpose. That's why I know it's unforgivable, because I reviled Allah in the worst way possible and I did it voluntarily.

          • Assalaamualaikam

            Sister, you're saying the same thing over and over. Please, read the answers you've been given and take some comfort from them. If that doesn't help, talk to your mother or a trusted teacher as they may be able to help you stop worrying about these things.

            Allah is All-Powerful and can forgive whoever He chooses. He has promised to forgive us if we repent. So, repent and trust in Him.

            One account which emphasises this is the account of a man who had committed murder and sought forgiveness. He asked people if he could be forgiven and when they said no, he killed them too, in his despair at feeling he was doomed. Finally, one person told him there was hope and to make a pilgrimage. The man set out on his pilgrimage and was desperate to have his sins forgiven. But, he died while still on his journey. Allah asked the angels where the man had died, and had he died closer to his starting point or to his destination? The man was closer to his destination... and Allah forgave him for his sins.

            If the man in that account was forgiven, despite committing grave sins (and doing so knowingly), who are any of us to say that someone won't be forgiven? Who are we to say that we ourselves won't be forgiven? Allah's Mercy is for all who repent and turn to Him.

            Midnightmoon
            IslamicAnswers.com editor

  10. Dear Muslimah, don't be Hopeless

    Allah SWT not like a Human being , He’s bigger then All in the universe ,
    He’s The All-Compassionate, He’s The All-Merciful, He’s The Source of Peace, He’s The Guardian, He’s The Greatest, He’s The Responder to Prayer, He’s The Watchful One, He’s The Majestic One, He’s The Loving One, He’s The Forgiver and Hider of Faults ,
    You Just repent with sincerity , do good deed more and more , prayer 5 times, help others, my creator , my sustainer , He’s merciful, my prayer, my fasting, my sujood everything for Him,

  11. what about any sexual thoughts? if someone just has a sexual thought in general and they mumble or say it loud, is that haram?

    • Assalaamualaikam

      A thought in itself isn't haram, we can't necessarily control what pops up into our conscious minds. It's best not to openly voice thoughts which aren't in keeping with Islamic values - so we should try to avoid doing this. When such thoughts come to a person, they should say Astaghfirullah and occupy themselves with something which will bring them back to thinking about more appropriate things. If they feel that they've transgressed, they may feel it's appropriate to pray for repentance for their transgression.

      Generally, the more a person dwells on unwanted thoughts, the more those thoughts persist. The best way to avoid this is to not get overly stressed and preoccupied about such thoughts - if you have them, follow the steps above, and inshaAllah they'll go away in time.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  12. Are we at one point allowed to despair in islam?
    Because that's how I feel now.
    I am tired of all of this.
    I keep purposely thinking/saying these extremely bad things, whether its about Allah(swt) or people. I did it purposely again this morning, even worse statements this time,
    I don't know why I did it. Its such a bad habit, but its still under my control...
    I keep telling myself, this is the last time you will ever do such a thing, now repent and move on, but I end up saying them (voluntarily) again.

  13. Dear Muslima01,
    Sister, first I just wanted to clarify that I am female (since you addressed me as "Brother" above). I am a mother, and I have children your age...so when I write my messages to you, I want you to know that I am writing to you both as a daughter and as a sister in faith...and I am writing because I truly care what happens to you.

    As I stated above, this forum is not the appropriate place to diagnose someone with any type of problem. However, I have some experience dealing with people who suffer from OCD, and I feel that you are exhibiting at least some of the traits of people who have this condition. People with OCD are aware of what they are doing and may do it voluntarily, but they also know it is wrong or does not make logical sense. They constantly seek out reassurance and tend to doubt the answers they receive. In fact, OCD is sometimes called the "doubting disease" for this reason.

    I am sorry if I confused you above, because I think we got stuck on the distinction between performing an action (or having a thought) voluntarily or involuntarily. I have avoided stating directly that you might have OCD, because I did not want to add to your anxieties. What I would like to see you do, however (speaking as a mother), is go to a trusted adult and tell them about the issues you are having. You can even tell them that someone suggested OCD as a possible cause. I do not know if your parents would understand something like this, but a school nurse or counselor might. So use your judgment. Even if OCD turns out not to be the cause, you are obviously experiencing a high level of anxiety regarding your thoughts and words, and that alone is deserving of attention.

    As Sister Midnightmoon said:

    Generally, the more a person dwells on unwanted thoughts, the more those thoughts persist.

    I think you can get over this, Insha'Allah, but right now it looks like you are stuck in a loop. And if you are stuck in a loop, you have to try something new in order to break free. If you are able to do that on your own, that is wonderful, but sometimes a person needs guidance from a professional in order to take the most efficient steps. If you want this cycle to stop, you probably need to involve someone else. Does that sound reasonable?

    • Salaams-
      Thank you for replying. And apologies for referring to you as a brother when you were a sister 🙂
      As for the few times I said them involuntarily, I was also wondering if it was some condition because I don't know why I just said them without meaning to. Maybe it is, like you said, OCD or anxiety. But a majority of the time I said them purposefully.
      But for the times I did not mean it, I will talk to my parents about it like you said and see what we can do about it, and whether or not it's OCD.
      Thank you sis

  14. guys i give up.

    the thoughts are getting worser and worser and I purposefully said them out loud -- again -- today

    i am under so much distress, i dont know why i keep saying them at Allah when i get mad. i know for sure i am going to hell, there is no hope for me after all that i have done. i said some things that are extremely bad today, worse than before. i want to end my life, but that is haram because suicide means eternal punishment (although whats the point? i may as well do it cuz im gonna get punished in the afterlife anyway)

    the thoughts are getting so bad. i was so frustrated, that i purposefully said them out loud about Allah today because of my anger, astaghfirullah 🙁

    i will never go to paradise the words are so bad. they're so bad u cant even begin to imagine. like the words i mentioned above, i have insulted my Allah on purpose and i am for sure not gonna be forgiven.

    i am going to hell, i am going to hell, i am going to hell.
    i am so bad i dont know why i am here. im worse than everyone on this site, and im really freaking out cuz i know ill be punished. can the editors plz delete my post?

    i am worried i might get more punishment because of sharing my bad deeds with everyone. there is absolutely no hope for me now. im in a lot of distress and anxiety i cant stop crying. plz delete everything, i know im going to jahannam... 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

    • You need to see a psychiatrist. It's possible that you have a mental illness such as Tourette's syndrome. It may be treatable with medication.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • You need to calm down, it's ok this is normal. Go read some Quran with translation. What's happening to you is that you resent God. Sometimes people just take on too much too soon and they don't appreciate what they have or will get. The result is that they curse God. They believe and everything it's that they blame God for making them struggle so much. And it comes out by them cursing him under their breath. It will go away when you appreciate at a level of receiving life and even just a cup of water. And knowing that Allah isn't out to nail you into going to hell. you already believe and fear Allah.

      So first Allah has said that for one that fears Allah he is given a garden. 55:46
      Keep fearing and this should be yours. Next Please read the Quran every morning and at night, just even a few sentences with meaning and ponder the meaning. This will bring peace to you.

      Please try to maintain Balance, do not fear Allah to the point that you would like to disappear, and do not be so relaxed that you think doing anything is fine. This is just a test to see how well you do, do as much as you can comfortably and not so fast that you burn out and resent Allah. Good luck.

    • Salam Sister,
      It doesn't matter if it was voluntary or involuntary and what you meant or didn't mean. Let a doctor listen to your problem and decide what is relevant or irrelevant. They will be familiar with your problem and will take it seriously, Insha'Allah.

  15. Get out of this haram and halal thing first. Just think that will all these stupid things you do or say will effect the Almighty Allah in any way? Allah has no need of your praise or abuse. The only thing Allah wants from you is guilt and then doing Tauba after your do any sin. That's it. You do sins everyday 100's of time and then seek Allah's forgiveness and Allah will forgive you every time inshaAllah. Your sins are very big sins in your own perception and thinking but nothing infront of Almighty Allah.... Its like a naughty child does something wrong and then looking at parents for their reaction because the child thinks he has done something really very wrong but for his parents it is nothing....
    So what about Almighty Allah who has created the whole universe and all the human beings and loves everyone more than 100 mothers....
    Ask for Allah's forgiveness from the core of your heart and Allah will forgive you I promise and repeat it everything you do any sin.... You are made to do sins and Allah is there to forgive you....

  16. @Wael
    no those words were for sure voluntary
    I do not know what to do
    Can they be forgiven
    Hope u can reply

  17. Is suicide permissible to ease a person out of their pain?
    I am extremely upset. The thoughts get worse and worse by the day.
    Sometimes I get thoughts like "I don't worship Allah" or "I don't believe in Allah".
    Or those really bad sexual thoughts. I even said stuff like "I worship ____(sexual term)" and it was completely voluntary. I don't want anyone saying, "It was on accident" or "You did not mean it", because I was fully aware of what I was doing...
    I do not think I can take this any longer. I want to kill myself, I can't bear living with the guilt.
    This is totally shirk, because I have associated partners with Allah(swt). I am so upset. I always feel like I want to say all the bad stuff out loud because of how frustrated I am, or how angry I am that Allah is doing this to me. I keep saying bad stuff like this whenever I'm angry or upset at someone or something.
    I just wanna kill myself. I know I am going to jahannam anyway, and I can't keep living with this guilt.
    I don't even know how to tell my parents, they'll be so angry at me when I tell them.
    I don't know how I am gonna bear this any longer.

    • Sister, you have to talk to your parents about this and have them take you to see a psychiatrist. Your condition may be completely treatable with medication. You keep posting the same thing again and again, and we keep advising you the same. You must see a doctor who can help you. Suicide is not a solution nor is it necessary. Just get some professional help.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • but brother its not a psychotic disorder
        I was fully aware of what I was saying

        • like can I repent from this shirk

        • Yes, but you don't seem to know why you do it, and you're powerless to stop. It's a psychiatric condition. Go see a doctor.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Wael,
            I am pretty sure it is not!
            Like today I said, "I worship____(bad word)"
            The bad word was the n-word I wrote earlier, but once the comment was written, it never showed that part. I think it got deleted.
            And now I am really scared!!!!
            Okay listen, I came to this islamic website to get islamic advice. What is the hukum on saying such disgusting stuff like this purposely? Can this shirk be forgiven?
            Pleaseeeee dont tell me see a doctor, I am 100% sure it was on purpose.

            I will seriously stop commenting at once, once someone tells me the islamic view behind all this, not medical.
            Please pretty please don't ignore this comment, I really need your help.

    • Salam Sister,
      I want to reiterate what Br. Wael is telling you. You came to this website seeking advice, which was a good step, and you have received numerous sincere and correct answers to your posts. Don't you think this could be Allah SWT guiding you to take the next steps, which are involving your parents and seeking treatment?

      Sister, I know someone who had a very similar problem, and it was so bad that he failed school and could not live a normal life despite being very intelligent and religious. He refused to see a doctor until his family literally forced him to do so. To make a long story short, he is fine now after taking medication (medication which he initially refused to take). He is not mentally ill, but the chemicals in his brain are imbalanced, and medication corrects that for him. When he stopped taking medication, the problem returned, so he now knows that he must take this medication or go back to living with this problem, which is not a healthy option. In his case, it is a neurologist who made the diagnosis and treated him.

      In other words, Sister, there is help for these types of problems. Your brain is tricking you into having these bad thoughts. Yes, they are intentional (I get that), but you can, Insha'Allah, regain control over your thoughts with professional help.

      I understand that you are worried about how your parents will react, but you won't know what they say until you explain the problem in detail. Depending on their background, there is a possibility that they will not understand, but you have to give them a chance first. If that does not work, you should approach someone who is able to understand. For example, maybe you have a trusted teacher or a relative with a medical background. As I said before, you can even write down the problem and share it with a school counselor or someone who is in a position to approach your parents and discuss the issue. And by the way, your parents might be confused at first, but I doubt very much that they will be angry.

      Finally, Sister, the problem you are having is not uncommon at all. Any doctor who deals with the brain, whether it is a psychiatrist or a neurologist, will immediately recognize the pattern of symptoms.

      • Salaams-
        Thank you for your thoughtful response.
        The problem is that the thing I said, I was totally aware of what I was saying. I had said it on purpose, not because of being overwhelmed by waswasa (shaytaan's whispers).

        I agree that I should see a doctor because of the thoughts, but please believe when I say that I totally said it on purpose. I had wanted to know if I could repent from that form of shirk, because I literally said "I worship____(explicit term)".

        Believe me, I said it on purpose. I was completely aware and in control. It is undoubtedly shirk. I want to know if I can repent, and if this is forgivable or not?

        I really said it on purpose this time...

  18. plz reply 2 the comment i just wrote earlier please

    • pleaseeeee Wael answer me the islamic way not medical way
      If someone says a statement like that? I am especially concerned about the one I replied to your comment, I am very sure I said it on purpose. If someone says that can they be forgiven? I am talking about that last comment I wrote to you

  19. It's the comment under the one where you said
    Yes, but you don't seem to know why you do it, and you're powerless to stop. It's a psychiatric condition. Go see a doctor.

    • plz Wael plz answer that comment in particular
      I want 2 know if that phrase can be forgiven because I said it on purpose
      Please answer as soon as you can,

  20. ?

    • I starting to think you're just lonely. You obviously believe and fear Allah. For everything you've said that was intentional, you should ask forgiveness, if it was unintentional then Allah says:

      http://quran.com/2/225/

      "Allah does not impose blame upon you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He imposes blame upon you for what your hearts have earned. And Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing."

      But besides this I think you just need someone to talk to or some attention. Do you have friends, and if so, how many?

      • Salaams-

        Yes Alhamdulillah I have a big group of friends at school.
        It really isn't for attention, I don't think. Its just that I said some really inappropriate stuff and cuss words.

        Like I would have extremely bad sexual terms about inc*st, r*pe, n*cropilia, etc...
        And I had really bad cuss words in my mind like the b-word, s-word, etc...

        I just feel so guilty for saying them, thats all. I am pretty sure I do not have a mental disorder though, because I was in complete control when I said them. They didn't even "slip out" of my mouth, I like literally said them on purpose.

        I also I said stuff like "I worship___(one of those sexual terms I wrote above)" or "I worship___(cuss word, bad term above)" etc etc....

        They are very bad I know. I am quite disgusted with myself, but I am really trying to repent. I want to be forgiven for this shirk, before I die. It is very scary, because it is a huge, huge sin of mine.

        Also, one last request: can you please make duaa for me? Duaa for my forgiveness?

        Jazaakumullahu khayran,
        muslima01

        • Salaaam sister muslima01! in shaa Allah I pray that you're doing better.

          Listen sister, I want you to clam down and not give up because honestly I've went through the EXACT same thing not so long ago and I honestly know how it feels like. Subhan'Allah I'm actually in shock knowing that I was not the only one going through this. Back then I used to hate myself So much for thinking this way I though I was the filthiest person on the face of earth. Those days were truly one of the most darkest moments of my life, i felt SO Hopeless, helpless and confused. I thought to myself that Allah swt will never forgive me for these disgusting evil thoughts(exactly like yours) and that I would be doomed to hellfire for eternity, may Allah swt safeguard us all. I remember feeling so horrible and upset ALL the time, i thought to myself whats the point of doing anything 'good' if I'm thinking this way. It was extremely hard to even focus on praying and reading quran without getting these thoughts, so I unfortunately (deeply regret it) gave it all up, I stopped reading the quran and praying.. may Allah swt forgive me. I fell into shaytans TRAP, wish I didn't because did this help me to stop thinking this way? No. I felt more depressed and sad, I remember not wanting to talk to anyone, I couldn't study properly..always crying. I would put a fake smile up just to not worry my parents and friends..but it was too much for me to handle i felt like every piece of me was breaking, i was afraid that I'd end up being like this for the rest of my life. I thought to myself I'll never accomplish anything in life, I'll never get married because no one will ever want a person who thinks like this.. all of this made me feel sooo depressed ..I got to a point where I wanted to take my own life. Alhamduliallah Allah swt saved me and was truly merciful. Alhamduliallah it was only by Allah's mercy that I started feeling better. I took the necessary steps in changing how I thought of things including those 'thoughts' I changed my entire prospective on them I saw them rather meaningless and basless and slowly i started getting better and no it wasn't easy but it was worth trying, right? At least I didn't give up on myself..had I killed myself or harmed myself god forbid, would I be in a better place? More importantly what would my excuse be in front of Allah on the day of judgement? You see there's no point in giving up because at the end of the day we will all be tested in life. So instead of me seeing this as a curse from God I instead saw this as a test from him ..I remembered that Allah swt never puts anyone in a situation (test) where they cannot handle it.i definitely wanted to pass this test. Therefore; I did what I had to. With so much dua and patience alhamduliallah i felt A lot better. It was such a painful phase and I'm using the 'term' phase because I want you to know that this will in shaa allah pass with time and you will one day by the permission of Allah swt look back laugh and think why on earth did I waste my time stressing and losing sleep over this. Trust me you are NOT alone in this.. this is all shaytans trap in making you feel and think that you're saying and thinking this way on purpose. His main goal is to make you feel hopless and once he achieves that he will slowly get you in doing things against islam.

          So what I need you to do is RELAX! Yes relax, like some brothers and sisters have mentioned its most likely OCD plus thoughts are out of our control even if you 'think' or felt it was on purpose. Therefore, Do NOT feel guilty about those 'thoughts' I remember doing this and it has helped me immensely alhamduliallah. ALWAYS repent and say the istaqfarah, make dua, read the daily adkhar and quran. I remember being advised to do this but I would take it lightly or give up quickly If i wasn't seeing much difference. This is WRONG. Oh how much I wish I was patient back then honestly it was hard but if you could put in a little effort and time Allah swt will definitely make it easy for you. So DON'T give up even if you're dua isn't accepted right away. Be patient with yourself and ALLAH swt.
          secondly, whenever you experience a evil thought then immediately recite ' audho bil'allahi min'ash shaytan ir'rajeem' try and replace the 'thought' with a positive one or what was more effective for me was getting myself busy with something, Anything. Talk with siblings or friends, get out for a little walk, cook/bake..ect . This is SO important. Just do it and forget whatever you were thinking about.
          Thirdly, Do NOT be alone. EVER. Don't do this because the devil then takes advantage of you being alone and will play with your mind., If you happen to be alone then put the quran on loudly and recite after it, by doing this in shaa Allah it will block those thoughts.
          Lastly, I need you to understand that AGAIN you are not alone sister and that this is only the shaytan trying to fool you, honestly just see it that way. He's trying his best to misguide us all, what you're going through now is just shaytans trick. He WONT give up in trying to mislead us, so why should we give up?. Therefore, Don't fall for it. ignore the thoughts and ask Allah swt for help and he will definitely help you!
          easier said than done ..i know, but at least remember that Allah is always there to help, so ask him and do NOT give up! Im sorry for the long post i just hope i made sense and I truly hope it has helped you in some way. It'll get better in shaa Allah! Hang in there. You're in my duaas.

  21. I am also suffering with thiss.......i also think that i am not muslim now......allhamdullillah i pray salah everyday.....but i dont know how this things will get end.....i think after nikah all this things will get normal....i am 20 .........i also dont know what to do.......its been 1 year i am doing this horrible things.......i am living in hell......i want to die......

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