Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Husband has gone abroad with no communication

Lost mobile phone

No contact

Aslamualikum i am a muslim woman. I am married and my husband earlier delayed having a baby stating career issues. After some time when i insisted for baby we went for treatment but i could not conceive as treatment was left in between.

Many times i found my husband chatting late night and caught him 2-3 times chatting with some girls. He apologised and i agreed to our marriage. Later on i found him very caring towards his younger brother wife.

He denied my medical checkups and went on a picnic with his mother, sister in law etc. Many nights he left me alone in my room. We are in a joint family. Now he left abroad and he did not contact me ever since.

In short he always shows some extraordinary attitude to his sister in law, never took care of me either financially or emotionally and his family is also behaving in same manner.

He took all my savings now im left blank (broke). Kindly advise.


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4 Responses »

  1. Iram i am really saddened to hear your troubles but one day they almighty will show the way just be patient and In Sha ALLAH one day everything will be fine and as for your man I can just pray for him. Something like this also is happening around me but being from the girls side my arms hands are tied but I would love to meet your huaband . do you and your husband live in england dose he have Facebook if so can you reply back and tell me his name please and I will make him understand.
    Kind regards
    Sohaib Akhtar

  2. Salam sis
    Really sorry to hear about your situation it's really upsetting. May you find the right way to solve your troubles.
    Try and work out things if you can, to me it looks like you are doing all the running as in all aspects to better your marriage. You need to sit your husband down and try and talk your difficulties out,regarding how he treats you how you want him to meet you in half way etc....
    I don't really think he cares much has his living off you and doesn't contribute. This is sad and when you say he spends a lot of time with your in laws side, (that sucks honey)which man spends a lot of time with their brothers Mrs? Something is not right, not accusing him of any thing other than his absence, I think he needs talking too, in to where you stand with him.
    Try and work things out and set a time limit,see if he will go to a marriage councillor with you, and if things don't change then I say you should think of other options, you ain't got any children, so I guess if you left him due to him being careless, then i suggest do so. Don't put up with him if he won't see eye to eye.
    Life is what you want it to be if there is no love from his side, what's the point staying!
    Best of luck dear and duas are for your happiness, if people hang on to hope they are lying to themselves, try and make things work if you can and after trying please realise to move on.
    Allah bless you and give you the best in life. Ameen.

  3. Dear Iram,

    Wherever it is that you live; continue your education.

    Get your degree, get yourself a good job, become well able to support yourself financially. And if it is work that you love, it will give you a boost in confidence, and make you feel like you are a productive human being giving back to the world.

    As a woman, and in this day and age, you cannot depend on anyone for your support. Not your parents - they will one day pass away, which is the sad truth for all of us. Not your husband - even a husband more decent than the one you unfortunately have, can very well leave. Your only support is your degree. And when you have kids in the future, as Insha'allah you will, you will need to have something saved up to help them out. And you will feel less stuck in a terrible marriage when you have your finances in better control.

    There are a lot of warning signs in your relationship, and I would advise you, though I don't know details, to leave before you get irreparably hurt. All of your happiness and self-assurance will come from working on yourself, from evolving into a good, productive, and positive human being. You will achieve inner happiness and peace if you make it your goal and pray to Allah for it.

    So believe in yourself, believe in your own strength, and in Allah's support, which is forever yours as long as you follow the right way. I don't doubt your ability to self-actualize and become a beautiful woman, inside and out, whom it will be the ultimate privilege to know.

    And you will make healthy and positive relationships in your life, when you are healthy and positive yourself on the inside.

    Warm regards!

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