Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to stop sinning and become a good muslim

Repent before the Day when Allah will Question you

Repent before the Day when Allah will Question you

Salam Recently I was very stressed out with life because of some issues going on. Not sure what to do with my life. Shatan came and lead me in the wrong direction. I paid a transgender woman to spend the night with me. Things went too far she ejaculated inside me. How bad sin this is? how do I ask for forgiveness? I will never such thing again. Please help me how to ask for forgiveness.


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6 Responses »

  1. Assalamu'alaikum brother (assuming you are a man),

    You have had a homosexual act done...Yes, a trans-sexual technically remains what he or she was naturally. One can NEVER change one's gender from what what one was born to something else.

    What you have done is zina and the punishment for this sin is death in Islam, this is how bad it is (considering it was homosexuality).

    Turn to Allah in repentance and if possible, relocate to a different city or country. A place which made to you this act may tempt you to repeat it, except if Allah Wills. You should never repeat this sin in your life. I suggest you to get married as soon as possible and practice Islam in totality. Ask Allah by His Beautiful Names and Attributes to Forgive you and accept your repentance, then do righteous deeds so that your smaller sins can be erased. Allah Said in Surah Hood, Aayah 114:

    And perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat ), at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night [i.e. the five compulsory Salat (prayers)]. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e. small sins). That is a reminder (an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).

    For the sin of zina and other major sins, you need to do true tawbah and resolve never to repeat them.

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  2. woo!!! maaan!!! ... I am not gud with my words u'll get ur replies soon ... after few months check ur blood whether u r affected with hiv.. make sinceare tawba.. Allah swt may accept it..

  3. Assalamu 3laykom!

    As Muhammad Waseem said you've committed a sin (a grave one) and you must repent for it.

    Personally I believe that you have to look at the root of your problem in order to be able to solve it. Make it VERY clear in your mind why you're feeling stressed out and why you seek sexual relief for that stress. Maybe you can find a way to avoid being in such stressful situations or a good way of relieving stress? And if your usual company (friends, co-workers, family et.c.)is one that in any way influences you, guides or merely points you in a sinful direction when seeking relief, then you should surround yourself with people who don't. If the reason for your behaviour is loneliness, then don't worry, cheer up and surround yourself with righteous people and you shall find every comfort and sense of belonging as well.

    Another very important thing is that you do not lose hope. Allah is the most Merciful and the All-forgiving and he is the one who forgives and accepts the repentance of his slaves. Hope for his forgiveness, ask for Him to guide you to the righteous path and dont lose faith in Him. Or you shall lose yourself in life and in the afterlife.

    Allah knows best and may He guide you.

    P.s. You said you wanted to stop sinning and become a good Muslim, consider this your first step and dare to take the next. I'm rooting for you!

  4. Why did you choose a transgender woman for sex? Is that the only kind of sex that helps you deal with your stress?

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    This has been a grave sin, and it is really important that you make tawbah and change your life so that this never happens again. Read the section of this website about tawbah, for more information on how to repent, and remember that Allah is Most Merciful - He has promised to forgive our sins so long as we offer true repentance.

    An important part of avoiding repeating a sin is understanding why it happened in the first place. Rather than just saying "shaitan made me" (which can be easier for us than actually facing up to the problems), look at why shaitan's whispers convinced you, and why you were in such a situation. You mention that you were under a lot of stress - so think about the things that were causing you stress; could you have handled those things differently? What about learning some ways of coping with stress without going against Islamic teachings - there are lots of resources online and at community centres about coping with stress, and simple steps such as talking things through with friends and doing some form of exercise can really help as well?

    Re-connect with Islam, and give your faith a more central role in your life. Allah has blessed us with guidance for how to live our lives and address any challenges we might face, so if you make sure you are following His guidance, you can find comfort in knowing that what happens is His will. If you don't already, make sure you are praying regularly and attending masjid as often as you can - surrounding yourself with people who are practising will inshaAllah encourage you to become more practising as well. Maybe get involved in a community project or a study group. And remove haraam influences from your life - no smoking, no drinking alcohol, no intimate relationships outside of marriage, and definitely no paying people for sex.

    As someone has already suggested, it will be important for you to have a sexual health check-up, to make sure you have not caught a sexually transmitted disease. The ones people worry most about are things like HIV/AIDS, but there are many others - many of these can be treated quickly and easily if caught early, while others can be a long-term issue but manageable with medical treatment.

    I'd advise that you go along to your local sexual health clinic (if you don't know where the nearest one is, search online) as soon as you can - they can inshaAllah do some tests there and then, and if they feel it is necessary, they might even give you medication to reduce the risk of contracting HIV (some places offer 'post-exposure prophylaxis' - depending on the prevalence of HIV locally and the nature of the exposure - although this isn't felt to be necessary in all cases - speak to the people at the clinic and tell them all the details so that they can make an appropriate decision). You would probably then need to go back after a period of time to have more tests, as some conditions such as HIV and hepatitis can take time to show up in tests.

    Don't have sexual contact with anyone while you're waiting for test results to come back - not only would this put them at risk, there have been cases of people being taken to court and convicted for passing on sexually transmitted diseases (mainly HIV) - respect yourself and respect others by ensuring nobody else is at risk. Once you, inshaAllah, get the all-clear, make sure that any sexual contact you have with anyone is within the boundaries given to us by Islam - namely, within marriage.

    And if you do end up being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease that could be transmitted to your partner (conditions such as genital warts, herpes, and the blood-borne viruses, etc.), you need to let your partner know - they have a right to know if they need to take particular precautions or if they are at risk of contracting an illness.

    Hopefully, your tests will come back all clear, you can repent and move forward, putting this in the past and keeping it between you and Allah.

    May Allah guide you to stay on the straight path from now on, and help you stay strong to resist further temptations.

    Midnightmoon editor

  6. You should sincerely repent and then go and do Hajj then start practising islam and worship Allah 5 times aday and then get married.
    Ps keep away from watching to much inappropriate images on your television.

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