Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage problem

marriage nikah arranged forced

i got engaged 8 months ago with a girl, that girl was chosen by my mother and even i didnt saw her even not her pic. i saw her in pic after engagement because i am living in dubai and she is in pakistan. my marriage was fixed few months back but before 10 days of my marriage my mother and girls family fought on an issue and mis behaved eachother. my mother took a stand and she refused to do mariage with her now & she insisted me also to stop talking her ,its all over but girls family is still willing to do and they are waiting for my decision. please advice me what decision should i take in the light of Quran and hadith.


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2 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum

    One thing is certain in your case that for the first few years of your marriage your mom will have a very thorny relationship with your fiance.

    My suggestion is that you first find out who was at fault. If it was the girls family then its quite clear that this marriage probably is not going to be successful.

    If it was your mother's fault then you have a much trickier situation at hand, because if you go ahead with marriage, your relationship with your mother will take a huge hit and it will take a lot of time to repair. In this scenario, given that you want to be fair then your option is to delay the marriage a bit or at least delay the ceremonies. Maybe take advantage of this opportunity and simplify the marriage ceremonies etc (most likely the fight would have been on some aspect of marriage ceremony/dowry/gifts etc).

    I am sure you were looking forward to getting married and delaying the marriage maybe frustrating, in that case you could go ahead with a simple Nikkah and delay the ceremonies. This way you can talk to your wife freely to her and remind your mom that because of her you are making the sacrifice in delaying your marriage etc (indirectly let her know that she caused you pain).

    Alternatively, you can call this marriage off and just take a more active role in finding a wife by not letting the whole responsibility be borne by your mom.

    If you are still very confused then do Istekhara and also seek council from some other elder of your family.

    Best Regards

  2. Still waiting for your final decision Even when they know that this marriage will be against your mothers will, means they like to ruin your relationship with your mother and take total control over you...this means you should be on you'r mother's side even if she was do dua for them and disconnect and side with your heaven(mother).

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