Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage to a divorcee.

broken heart

Salam. Everyone.....
I have a query... I am getting married in 2 months to a divorced's an arranged marriage.. By nature that person is polite and understanding but he is very disturbed due to his first marriage... He has a daughter but due to his divorce his ex wife took his daughter with her saying it's her property....
I just need to know how shall I treat that person? I can feel his problems but he says he's not prepared for the marriage due to last incident happened..... ?
Secondly his daughter can live with her or not? If yes then according to Islam what is the right proceedure for that.?
Is it better not to marry him?
Or is it better to help him sort out his problems and force him to start a new life?
Waiting for response...



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3 Responses »

  1. Sister,

    How long has this man been divorced from his first wife? He say's he is not prepared for the marriage. Is he speaking about the marriage to you? Sorry...I needed clarification.


  2. Assalaamualaikam

    If this man isn't ready for marriage, then it might be best for you to give him some time and space to work through his issues with his divorce. We shouldn't try to force people into a particular course of action based on our interpretation of events - he needs to work things out in his own way. Why not ask him what he wants? It may be that he would very much like to get married but is feeling anxious that things might go wrong again, or it may be that he's feeling too stressed about recent events and would appreciate being given time and space.

    If the two of you decide to get married, he might need a lot of support, so be prepared to be patient and supportive with him, and make lots of dua.

    Regarding the custody arrangements for his daughter, he would be best to seek legal advice about that, as custody procedures are different in different countries. A child is nobody's property though, and has rights to have a mother and a father in their life, so at the very least this man can pursue legal action to gain access to his daughter.

    Pray istikhara and trust in Allah's plans for you all.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. Just a few brief points,

    Marrying him with the intent to fix him is a massive risk, because you dont know how deep the problems are, you may not even know the nature of all of the problems, e.g. is the a violent element to it?

    discuss all the problems he is having and discuss their impact on the relationship, you may have to struggle alongside him to resolve the issues if you decide to marry or wait until they are all resolved.

    In the past I have seen fathers fight for decades to get access to their daughters, this could happen while you are married.

    good luck in whatever you decide.

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